Using dreams

[JephWyte]

I'm just curious how many people can relate to this. I have close to 9 months clean and I still get random using dreams. However, rarely do I use my DOC (IV heroin use) in the dream. I can remember telling myself during these dreams, "I CAN'T boot dope, but I can have ONE beer, or a little molly (MDMA)" and then I wake up feeling guilty as if I really used in real life. I'm sure this is somewhat normal, however I can't help but carry a little shame for letting my mind go to this place even if it is a subconscience dream state. I don't even know if it's important enough to call my sponsor and talk to him about it or if it's just a menial and normal thing. Anyone with multiple years still have this happen?

[dominosarah]

Those dreams are disturbing but very normal.  If you feel the need to call your sponsor than do so.  Cant hurt just to check in!

[abritt121222]

Yes this is completely normal. I wouldnt let it get to you or feel guilty about it like u say because u are not letting your mind go these places by any means cause u can't control your dreams so your not letting your mind go anywhere it just happens but at the same time no matter if u think it is important or not to talk to your sponsor go with what u truly feel if u really feel like u need to talk to your sponsor about it go for it they aren't gonna think it is stupid for doing so nothing in my personal opinion is menial when it comes to protecting my sobriety no matter how small or stupid it may seem. And congrats on 9 months to

Good luck and Godspeed
ABritt

[YesLife4Me]

They say dreams our our subconscious mind working out our real life anxieties.  I try to look at them as my minds way of working out my fears of using.  They were such a huge part of our lives, so its natural they would appear in our dreams just like anything else.  Heck, I still have dreams 25 years later about high school!   But I know what you mean about how the dreams make you feel dirty.  I dreamed last night some stranger gave me a plate of food from another country, I ate it, then found out it was full os psychotropic drugs(mushrooms, etc)!  Funny thing was that in my dream, I didn't get high but others around me did!  I was upset about ingesting the stuff in my dream though...and recall feeling frustrated that my tolerance was that high that it didn't even effect me.   And...psychotropic drugs weren't even my drug of choice!

[JephWyte]

I'd like to make a trip to live and meditate with the Tibetan monks and maybe learn how to control my subconscience. For the time being I'm attempting to aquire this knowledge through books and the nearest buddhist temple in VT :) (I've been studying and applying ALL theologies into my life but I digress)

   I appreciate everyones input, for it really does provide some valuable perspective. I guess I just worried because people always say that relapse occurs psychologically and spiritualy before it occurs physically. I may have been stressing that perhaps this was a shift into negative spiritual domain and some sort of premonition of impending doom haha. However, hearing others identify with this and speaking with my sponsor has/will help immensley. Thank you everybody!
      Jeff

[IBKleen]

If you can find out how to control your subconscious, let me know. I could make a lot of money off of you!! LOL

All kidding aside, it is normal and they are what they...DREAMS. You don't act on them and you can't control them.

I celebrated 5 years clean in September and oddly enough I had a drug dream last night. I didn't use--I managed to escape from the people who were trying to get me to do. I woke up confused and sweating.

Once I realized it was a dream I got up and prayed for guidance and help today. I got it because I am having a wonderful day!!

Jeph, don't be so hard on yourself buddy. You are okay so enjoy this special night.

[weaver71]

Totally normal. I'm close to 6 mo. clean and dream about all kinds of risky behavior, not just drugs. I have dreams about things that I've never done and some dreams that bring back things I'd forgotten. I feel like it's my mind trying to redefine normal and my moral boundaries. As I form new convictions and moral character, the guilt and fear are slowly fading. I try to think of those dreams as victories. I didn't use!!! On the other hand, I would talk to your sponsor about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes sharing with our conscious thoughts helps our unconscious thoughts mature. When I first started telling everyone about my addiction, it was so hard, but I found it made my healing easier. All my issues seem to be that way. When I reach out for help, the burden is much lighter. I think it's getting easier to confront my fears and shortcomings. Congrats on 9 months, that's a wonderful achievement.

[ricart70]

This is way normal.I would not worry about it.It is the only way your brain can re-create the drug experience because you will not allow it during conscious hours.You are winning the battle and the dreams will probably become more infrequent as time goes on.You will still probably have them sometimes though.I would not worry about it at all.Great job on your time

[Leaveurfearsbehind]

I'm only two months clean but I dream about going back to the way I was living. I'll wake up sick at myself for what I did in my dreams.  Then it hits me that it was only a dream.  Its kinda freaky that this keeps happening. I just hope I don't wake up and it's happened for real!