Wondering if I have a dependency or addiction problem?

[marvelousme50]

I have been taking a 5/500mg Hydrocodone everyday and a 10mg Valium almost every day.  I am wondering if I am becoming dependent on them or addicted to them.  My husband seems to think I have a problem.  I explained to him I am not taking 6 5/500mg Hydrocodone pills everyday which is how it is prescribed.  I can take a Hydrocodone every 4 to 6 hours for pain.  I can take 2 10mg Valium pills daily.  I only take one every day.  I take them at the same time and have even been dividing them in half so I can take the other half of the pills at a later time.  However, I did take two Hydrocodones and two Valiums one day and within an hour of taking the first two pills.  I have only done that once and I was in extreme pain.
I am not going to lie and say that I have terrible pain everyday but the medications do help me to relax and feel good.  The Valiums are affecting my memory for sure.  I am sure the Hydrocodones are not helping my memory either.  I also wonder if I have an addictive personality.  I used to be an alcoholic but I have given up drinking for my husband.  He recently had a beer at a restaurant last week and it look tempting and delicious but I did not drink any of it because I was taking an antibiotic and if I drank I would have been very sick.  
I am very bored and have all of the signs of depression.  I also worry if the depression is causing me to want to take the Valiums and Hydrocodones or if they are contributing to my depression.  
My husband says I am a different person when I am taking the Hydrocodones and Valiums and can tell when I have taken them.
Could someone please provide me with some advice and if I am dependent or addicted to them how can I come off of them?  Should I taper off of them?  I need advice on what to do.  Thanks so very much!! I look forward to reading your replies.  Take care everyone and have a wonderful Tuesday night and a wonderful week!!!

Michelle

[littlebit667]

Wow, no wonder you are struggling!  There is no clear cut path with that combo of problems.  I hope the natural plan can help you.  Thanks for the response.  It helps to know where you are coming from in your quest to withdraw.  Be careful as vickie said with the valium...medically it can cause problems if you just stop.  

[vicki595]

How long have you been taking both of these meds?

You can just stop the Hydrocodone BUT the Valium MUST be tapered! Speak to your doctor for a taper plan.

Good luck!

[marvelousme50]

Thanks gnarly_1!!  I really do appreciate your advice and everyone's advice on here.  I am going to see if I can taper off of them.  My husband holds them for me so he knows how many I take and he controls when I take them.  I guess it is for the best but I would like to be able to do it on my own and have control over my own medication.  Then again I would probably take many more of both of the medications.  So I know it is for the best.  I am going to try and get some rest.  Thank you again everyone for your advice!!  I really do appreciate it very much!!

Sincerely,

Michelle

[marvelousme50]

Thank you so very much Bkitty!!  I really do appreciate your advice!!  I am going to try and get some sleep and rest.  Thank you everyone for your help!!  I really do appreciate it very much!!  Take care and have a wonderful Tuesday night!!  

Sincerely,

Michelle :)

[marvelousme50]

Thank you for your reply littlebit!!  I really do appreciate it!!  You asked what pain I have.  I have passed many kidney stones lately.  I also have diverticular disease and have had bouts of diverticulitis.  Plus because I take antibiotics for UTI's and for terrible burning pain in my urinary tract I develop yeast infections  I also take antibiotics for diverticulitis when I develop it and again develop yeast infections.  I am trying more natural cures for these issues and have used some natural cures that I have read on the Internet but I just started these natural cures.  
I think pain medications should be taken for painful conditions and I agree cavities and dental procedures can be extremely painful.  It is difficult though when you take these medications and they help combat pain and make you feel good.

[gnarly_1]

HI......from what you wrote I would have to say you crossed the line into the world of addiction .....im sure it dosent say  take one every 4 to 6 hr to feel good and thats what your telling us is going on time to jump ship and ether taper off or just flush them and C/T ether way will get you off of them and both ways have pros and cons you will just have to weigh it out for yourself we can help you just let us know when you want to start good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[Bkitty]

Also,,you need to be weaned off the valium,,do not just quit taking them. Definatly discuss the valium with your doctor,,abrupt withdrawal from valium can cause seizures so it is best to be in contact with your doc!! ~Bkitty :)

[Bkitty]

Yes,,,men suck sometimes! My husband acted like it was no big deal I had an addiction,,he was like,,just quit! Keep in mind you are at the point where you are self medicating to cope with your marriage,,life. That's not good at all. You can do this!! ((Hugs)) Bkitty

[marvelousme50]

Thank you Bkitty for your advice!!  I really appreciate it!!  I do think I need to come off of them both the Hydrocodones and Valiums.  I think I am looking to feel good and escape from reality and because I am bored and not happy with life.  I also have a really threshold of pain also so any twinge of pain and I take a Hydrocodone and a Valium.  I also like to take them to help me rest.  My husband tells me to toughen up.  I guess he is right.  The only thing is he is always giving me advice and I do appreciate it but it comes off as if he knows everything!!  It drives me insane.  I was watching Life Changers with Dr. Drew and married couples were going through marriage bootcamp and one of the men said he was not always right about everything.  Is this is a common trait in men to think they are right about everything and that everything has to be done their way?  Just wondering.

[littlebit667]

I have come to believe that pain pills should be used only for short term and for pain that cannot be alleviated by other methods...i.e. dental or surgical pain relief.  I became addicted to pills due to severe chronic back pain.  I did not have it everyday and convinced myself that if I took the pills I would keep ahead of the pain.  It worked for quite awhile, but the addiction took over.  My doctor and I are working on a plan that does not include pills to keep my back in line.  It is more work, but I prefer that to the pills.  What kind of pain and have you looked at other ways to alleviate??  I agree with your husband, we are all different on the pills and not in a good way.  They make us NOT care about life...instead of dealing with the problems naturally.

[Bkitty]

Its more than OK to take pain medications as prescribed for pain,,when you take them cuz you like how they feel that's abuse.

[Bkitty]

Youre headed down the road to addiction,,,esp when you mentioned they make you feel good and you have some depression. You need to address the depression immediatly. Right now you are in control so you think,,soon 6 pills a day will turn into 12pills a days. When you start running out of them before you are due for a refill,,,you got a problem. Please seek help before this monster lets loose. Opiates give you a false sense of self,,they make you feel invincible and that you can do anything! Be very cautious right now and seek help~bkitty