hydrocodone withdrawal

[Scared179]

Well here I am, alittle more than 80 hours clean of being on 5-7 hydro's 10/325 on and off for months and I am feeling like crap today. I am really nauseous and no energy and I am yelling at my kids alot when they dont deserve it. I can't function when I feel this way and my wife is no support because she is tired of me going through this. I am at my witts end. I know things will improve but I just want each day to end. I dont really want to eat because of my upset stomach. I have taken Pepto with little relief and am taking vitamins but I just do not want to do anything and its making everyone crazy around the house since nothing is getting done. I read so many stories on this site and it inspires me but still want to take one to feel relief knowing all to well I will end up right where I started, not the answer. Any additional advise would be helpful. Thanks.

[Luckygirl05]

I understand that you are scared... I am too. Today is my 2nd day of letting go of my "crutch" and I feel like I am going crazy. I don't know how to live sober anymore because I have gotten so used to being high on pills for everything that I do. In the end I could take 7-8 pills and not even get that good euphoric feeling anymore and I think it was time for me to just give it up! I am not feeling well at all right now. My stomach aches and I am twitching and having involuntary movements that are so annoying. It's like I can't even sit still. Anxiety maybe? Who knows. I can't believe the mess that I have created for myself all for the love of pills... This is so not worth it! I hope you continue down the right path, I'm right behind you! Let us know how you are feeling today, k? The depression post detox or quitting is so normal too. I have suffered from depression for a long time but only now I am getting help for that and not self medicating. I am on Celexa and it's not a miracle drug but it certainally helps me to cope with my real feelings. Best of luck to you, you've come a long ways so far and you'll soon reach the end and your body will start producing natural endorphines and you will hopefully get through this hard time and come out a much better person:) Have a great weekend and we can talk later if you want to... Christina

[ready2enjoylife]

Sorry to hear your struggling mentally, but congrats on one week!! Don't back down now. With everyone, it's different on how soon you start to mentally get back to where you were. But to get there sooner, it takes hard work on your part. Healthy habits, eating, exercising, meditation, whatever you CAN do will help those endorphins. You don't have to overdo yourself, sometimes it can be a simple walk, or journaling like I do. Writing your feelings and emotions can actually help you feel better, and if you have one of those days go back and read it. There is so much more positive that comes out of staying clean, then even all the bad we had done while using. I personally have cheated, lied, stole, decieved, you name it, Idid it. And while even now I feel horrible about all those things, what's done is done, and there is no reason in the world to stress/worry about what you DID do. Its important to focus on now, and what you CAN do. All the negative thoughts and guilt can really take a toll on your sobriety. And I will admit that it has taken me literally a million relapses, detoxes, programs, and meetings to finally understand this whole addiction disease. I know it's rough as heck to put on a happy face, or force yourself to get up in the morning, but the more you can do and the more you force youself to just do things, the better you feel. Not doing anything during detox might be well for the first few days if you are super sick, but moving and getting up to do things will speed up your recovery. I absolutely hated to even take a shower, it seemed like such a job to do, but once I took that shower I felt so much better, gradually doing more, and feeling even better. I know in my state I need to eat healthy and exercise, but I've haven't made it that far. Just know, that you WILL and CAN get better, it took time to become dependent and an addict, it takes time to heal. If us humans were able to recovery over night, would any of us stop using?!?

[Scared179]

Thanks for the support, it is now 7 days and most phsical symptoms have gone biut still keep upset stomach in morning. I don't like the mornings anymore. Mentally I am on an emotional rollercoaster which I think might be making me sick in the morning. I am so depressed that people are noticing at work and I can't have that. I am really weak and tired but am not sleeping well. Does anyone know how much longer until the energy comes back and the nerves go away?

[leeisgettingclean]

hang in there man....at the end of this dark damp tunnel is a bright beeming light=-----you are on your way to see it. I know the pain of "running out of pills" or "waiting on that call that your friend is good" or " satting at the doc just praying that you get your pills again" its a bad place to be---its no  life to life. You mention that you have kids and this is NO way for them to see you. Just stay strong and keep your head up. Things will be better b4 you know it. I am praying for you. Good Luck, Lee---if you need to talk send me a message

[ready2enjoylife]

Good for you on calling you Dr. I wish I had the guts to have done that with all the Dr.s I was seeing for opiates. Geesh I don't even think I can remember every dr. I've ever seen. Anyhow, you have made it Day 6?? If you want take a look at my page, and journals. I have those same feelings of stress and my nerves killing me at times. But, being sober and in a right frame of mind helps us realize the actual situation we are in, good or bad. Just know, that nothing could be better than staying clean and sober. and continuing with that, you will feel better each day about mistakes you've made. I've lied, cheated and stole so many times I've lost count. And all the family and friends I've hurt along the way, still bothers me. But the greatest gift that I can give back to them is my sobriety. I hope that you are doing well. If you would like to become a friend on here just let me know:)

[luckygirl831]

that was HUGE and took a lot of guts!! good for you!! hang in there!

[jstntime]

That WAS a big step cutting off your supply.  It means you are committed to getting it done.  Congrats on a VERY smart decision.

Of course some of your stress and nausea is coming because you are in detox.  I totally agree with Christina, one day at a time.  You're doing the right thing, first things first.  

I'm glad you are starting to feel a little better, it's a big boost to know you have made it through the worst of the physical stuff.

Congrats again, I can't say it enough, I am very happy for you.

bob

[Luckygirl05]

I think that we all feel a little down as we decide to quit and we break off our supply. That means that it is truly over or well on it's way to being over. Each day you should feel increasingly better from my experiences. I think that you will have a clearer mind and less money going out being wasted on pills. The habits between my husband and I was costing over $1,000 a month so I know the devistation that creates. You will get better just stay strong and keep your will to stop intact. One day at a time is the only way you can get control over your life, finances and addictions. I'm proud that you took the step of telling your dr. That is huge for you I'm sure. Keep up the good work! It will all get better in time:) Christina

[Scared179]

Hey, thanks. Well here I am at day 5 and feeling a little better but I wake up with my nerves shot because of the mess I'm in financially. It's making me so nauseous I feel like i'm having a nervous breakdown. I don't know if it's still the detox. I called my doctor that I who prescribing the hydros to me and let him know to put a note in my file to stop prescribing them in the future. I feel that was HUGE step because that was my life line to taking the edge off life. I hope things will improve with my personal well being because I cant wake up every morning feeling like this.

[Luckygirl05]

I think that it's whatever it takes to get you through the day sober... For me it is going to be a lot of prayer and support from ppl. on here I hope but for you- you have to decide what it is that you need. It sounds like a lot of guilt is a common factor with us addicts and I feel that I have to forgive myself before I can be forgiven... I am tired of feeling like I don't deserve the nice things and ppl. that surround me. I definetly don't feel like a worthy wife or mother most of the time. When I take pills I keep a clean house, cook great meals and overall I am able to accomplish a lot. I compare those days with my days when I am out of nums and I am having w/d's. Of course I am not going to want to get up and clean and cook... I barely want to get out of bed all day and when I do I sometimes only make it down to the couch. I wait till I know my husband is coming home and about 30 minutes before I do a quick clean and try to get something on for dinner. I am so sick of having unproductive days that it kills me. Even with the pills now I can't seem to get much done. I take so many that it makes me tired and at times I know I have even blacked or passed out. I remember taking M one day, all day and going to the casino. When we came home later that night I was really tired and went right upstairs to bed. At some point I walked downstairs intending to get something to drink. My husband woke me up around 2am and I was laying on the tiled floor in my kitchen... That was about 3 weeks ago and it scared me to death. I didnt even know how I ended up there? Did I fall? Did I pass out? I am not a drinker at all so I know that it was pills to blame. I have fainted once before on M (methadone) and I fell asleep leaning on my counter as I was trying to dish myself a plate of PF Changs carry out. It seemed like an impossible task at the time. I had been up over 30 hours at that point. I know I am rambling but I just thought of a few things to say. Sorry that they don't really go along with the topic! That is what has happened with my brain, it is scrambled!!! LOL. Anyway, just one more reason to quit taking these evil things, right?

[jstntime]

I meant to add that there is nothing wrong with otc pain killers when taken in moderation.  They ARE toxic in high doses.  Your pain will be more tolerable when your wd is over.

[jstntime]

Hey again,

You are very welcome.  Yes we care, most of us know what you are deaing with.  We also know how a few words of encouragement can mean a world of difference,  I am still grateful to those that helped me through this ride.

My point was not about NA/AA or God.  Financial and marital problems can rarely be solved by tomorrow.  You can only make decisions from here forward that will help your situation and let go of the stuff that is out of your hands.  It's not easy to do but what else CAN you do???

Our stories are very similar it sounds, except I let my habit get out of control.  You aren't a failure, you are doing something before it gets bad.  That makes you wise.  Please just don't doubt for a second that your problem will get worse.

Feel that sense of pride about how far you've come and take it on.  You don't sound like a downner, you sound like a detoxer.  

Get another day under your belt, they'll be gettig better soon.
Hang in there, it's doable!!!

bob





There is nothing wrong with taking otc pain relievers if they don't contain opiates.  

[Scared179]

Thanks for the really great advise, it helps to know there are people who care. It's just I come from a household that never did this kind of thing and for me to be the failure hurts so much. I used to be secure with money my whole life until I got married and things just seemed to change. She never took money seriously and didnt think we could be struggling one day. She says she's working harder on it but time will only tell. I am not used not being in control. The pills just eased the tension enough to cope with getting by. It's sad; I started out using them for my chronic pain and know I have to worry about pain again. I read a story where someone said they do not take any otc pain releivers anymore even motrin because its toxic to the body. Is there and truth to this? Should we just stay off of everything and suffer? Thanks for the NA/AA prayer but that is another thing I have issues with; GOD! I hope I don't sound like a downer but I have so many thinks to get off my chest but I need to feel better first.

[Luckygirl05]

You guys can do it!  Just come on here every few hours and look at all the success stories! I am praying for everyone I see that we can all beat this addiction... I know that it is hard with families, I have kids too. They deserve a clean and sober parent though and they need you to be ok for them. You have to find reasons to stay clean, not excuses to stay in your addiction:) I know that I am in for a hard time too and it helps to see others going down the path that I will be on this week., I am getting all the ingredients for Thomas recipe tomorrow and I will be starting off fresh and clean by Friday! I am really excited & scared but I am up for the challenge! I know that I can be happy again and look forward to things in my life... I have so much to look forward to and so many people that are counting on me. I appreciate all the support and honesty from everyone on here. You guys are great now let's pull it together and beat this!

[jstntime]

Hey,

Those first few days ARE like a roller coaster emotionally, understand it is very normal.  Any outside help is a positive move.

You are soooo close to starting to feel better.  Your dose and length of use is not on the heavy side which will mean a shorter duration and intensity.  Don't take that 1 pill, speaking from experience here, your next one will lead to many more.  Then you can repeat (once again) what you are now doing.  

Only you can stop the craziness!!!

You may have marital and financial problems but you need to understand that they will NEVER improve as long as you use.  Changing your current situation BEGINS with not using opiates.  You have taken that step.

My good friend gave me a great quote......"Let go or get dragged" ......Do you know the serenity prayer from NA and AA ???

God, grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the courage to CHANGE the things I CAN and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Your situation right now is what it is.  Use your newfound clarity to think about this.  You need to accept where you are or you are going to keep getting dragged.  You need the courage (as you have demonstrated with your 96 hours!!!) to change what needs changing, and you need the smarts to know the difference between which ones to accept and which ones to tackle.

You should be very proud of your 96 hours.  Eat when you feel like it.  Shakes are a good idea if solid food causes pain.  Drinking Gatorade or vitamin water is good too.  Get a big box of immodium.  Hold your head up and get it done.

Good-luck and Godspeed,

bob

[mellie4]

Try to stay positive.  You're over 96 hours clean and that's something to be really pleased about, even if you feel like crap.

Good idea about the therapist.  Really smart move there.  It will help in a million ways.  Try not to worry about the money issues.  They can always be worked out.  Especially if you're clean.  And your marriage can not only be repaired, it can often be better.

From what I understand, the depression you're feeling is pretty normal and most everyone experiences it.  Definitely talk to your therapist about it; I'm sure she/he will have some good suggestions for you.

It can be hard to stay positive when you don't feel well and you're depressed.  But try to find some positive thought for every negative thought you may have.

Good luck.  And keep posting!  You'll get lots of support here.  And as you move through your detox, you'll also be giving support to others.

[Scared179]

Thanks I appreciate the support. I'm now over 96 hours clean and feeling extremely depressed. I feel like I let everyone and myself down. I feel like my whole world in falling to pieces around me. I have called a therapist to try and figure my issues out. Not only is it the drug use but my marriage and money problems. I am not used to being like this and it's scaring me. I just need to feel better to start to get things together again but don't know how long this will last.

[gnarly_1]

HI congrads on 80hr clean...your  getting there as fare as the physical symptoms go
but the physiological part hangs on for a wile....I was an emotional roller coaster for a quit some time so the mood swings are a normal part of the withdrawal your stomach should be better in the next few days try and eat small ez to digest things but you really need to try and eat something if you can hold food down....I know I dident have much of a appetite but forced myself to eat..also fluids are important ...I drink whey protein shakes twice a day you can get a 2lb can up at walmar for 15 bucks its loaded with vitamins as well as amino acids along with the protein all of witch the brain needs to heal...for the energy thing liquid B -complex helps a bit again you can get it at walmart for 6 bucks all of these are not magic cures ....but I noticed over time they seam to help...give them a try...right now you just have to focus on you and let the house go for a few more days....take it ez on yourself detoxing is ruff on the body
you will get thew this just hang in there good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[cravinaperc]

Hang in there, I am right behind you at about 65 hours I think.....wow can I relate to what you wrote!  I have not eaten today and don't really want to and I wish I wasn't at work today!  Don't let the craziness around you allow you to cave.  You are correct in saying you will go back to where you started.  Not worth it.  God Bless!

[mellie4]

As bad as you feel right now, you have 80 hours under your belt and that's something.  If you stay straight, you'll never have to do those 80 hours again!!

I'm not an addict and I've not gone through withdrawal, but I am on narcotics for pain.  I have gone into the very beginnings of withdrawal when my prescription didn't come in the mail in time.  The little bit of withdrawal I went to was awful.  

I do know, from reading on here, that it's really important to stay well hydrated and try to eat things that are nutritious.  There are things you can do to make yourself feel a bit better.

I'm sure many others will be posting with much better suggestions and will also encourage you.  Just take it a minute at a time for right now.  Good luck.