im ready again

[freedomahead]

Hi everyone, I have been on a merry go round with opiates for 6 years. Its love hate and mostly hate! I actualy really hate what this has done to me. I was free and clean the longest this year and I made one mistake early summer drinking some wine with friends and the hangover was so bad a girl gave me a T3. I was so disappointed in myself I was so excited to be off the pills and was looking forward to a year clean. I felt like I threw it al away and the condemnation brought me back to the thing I hate! I was 5 days in clean last week and I was bad I had horrible sllep and wrestles leg syndrome so bad I wanted to freak. I was feeling so depressed and I wasn't able to hide it, I knew it was because I was  detoxing and in my mind knew it would pass but it was so strong I got some Tylenol with 15mg of codeine. and took 3. I really am wanting this done forever. I am ready and I want to be clean more then I want the pills. I just wanted to get it out there and talk to to others to get me through these next 10 days ..once iam passed 10 it will be the most exciting day. I want to live  again. Iam living in Guatemala, and studing Spanish and I want to fully commit to this with a clear mind. I have  found a amazing church too. I just need to get through the first few hard days.

[freedomahead]

hey, I  choose not tot drink and feel its wrong for me to use any substance. This was a one time thing, it was a hot summer day and my friend begged me to have wine with her. I knew better and stuggled. One glass is never enough and I don't do anyting in moderation so it went bad. Thank you for your encouragement. I agree, not a good combo.

[NeverAgain127]

Hi honey,

You can do this:  make sure you stay well hydrated and take hot baths if you get leg cramps.  Also,I don't want to scare you, but please, don't ever take ANYTHING with Tylenol in it (acetaminophen) after drinking alcohol again.   It is bad for your liver, and repeatedly dong this can be dangerous to your health.

If you are truly serious about this, perhaps it is best if you don't drink for a while.   Getting inebriated not only lowers our inhibitions and affects judgment, but as happened to you, it makes some of us really sick the next day.  

Also, its important, imo, to cut off any possible sources of pills.  That means telling your friends that you are trying to get OFF this stuff, and not to give you any.  Just a thought...the choice is yours.

[brown1986]

I agree this is a mental thing...you done well before I relapse I was clean for a week and it felt soooo good...I was taking up to 15 10mg of vics a night not during the day but it don't matter..I need someone can push me talk to me I have no family I can turn to my hubby don't understand... My mother got me started taking pills she been addicted for almost 25 years I seen her OD one time she didn't make it and I seen what it did to her why would I wanna pit myself in that...

[freedomahead]

Its such a mental thing. I cant believe I started to rely on a pillin my life to function....that I  grew to feel I needed it or I wouldn't be able to put my best foot forward. its such a lie..because once I was clean past ten days and then got past 6 months..those 6 months were the best time I had in years. I was alive and I really loved  the people in my life to the fullest, I cared more and I lived with goals. I was running everyday.  I wish that because I made one mistake and jumped off the band wagon that I would have got back on ..it was the though that I needed to start over..the lie in my mind that all the good days before didn't count because I failed. I pray that my brain restores quickly and that I can experience natural joy as soon as possible. We can talk anytime..stay in this okay..you want his so remind yourself that your going to get tot he other side..and others are cheering you on too!

[brown1986]

I'm here to support you...I'm on day two....its so hard sometimes I think the road to recovery is not near you can free to send me message and we can help each other through this