day 12

[lesah]

I say here and added up the amount of money I would have spent in b the last 12 days.  It's somewhere near 800.00.  Give our take.   And I don't even have money like that.   Where did thatmoney come from.? I'm dumbfounded!   I'm doing good with not wanting pills but my energy level is next to nothing and c sleep is a challenge.   I'm glad I have another week before work.  Maybe a little more. .. I hope.  I'm like a sneezing, yawning, vampire. Lol My rues Hirt bad out in the sun.  Even so I'm glad I made the decision to stop.   I see my friends suffering thinking the pills help.   I know the pills are what's hurrting them but arguing is pointless.   No one could have told me anything a month ago. I looked into meetings today.   Just have to figure out transportation til ni can drive again.  Kinda nervous going alone.   Very nervous!

[clean_in_ks]

You are doing SO GOOD, Lesah!!!!  Day 12 ...good on ya!!

I hear ya on the $$ we spent...even with legal scripts....plus in the end I was going to the street to supplement.  It's CRAZY that right!!  Our addiction blinded us in SO MANY ways to so many things.

I relate to you eyes hurting out in the sun.....ALL of our senses are ALIVE for the first time.....after the eye sensitivity heals....then the blue skies, the colors blooming all around us....it all becomes more vivid.  I couldn't stand loud noises either.  If my husband unloaded the dishwasher when I first woke up.....the clanging and banging about did me in.....LOL  It's a GOOD thing though....as we heal.....we are able to appreciate so many things about our DAILY lives that we used to take for granted or never even notice.
I hope you aren't going to stay around these friends that are using....you are VERY vulnerable right now.  Going to a meeting is a grand idea....if you call the meeting...a woman with wheels will be more than happy to come and get you and go with you to your first meeting.  The minute you walk in the door and see how many addicts are there....you won't feel alone.  You will feel a part of a recovery family eventually......they will and can become good friends.  Stick with the women though.....it's the healthiest thing to do.  Let us know how it goes....you are making GRAND progress.....so proud of you.

[OpenMind24hours]

Once you hit that meeting you'll never be alone again. You'll quickly find that the recovering addict is your addiction's worst enemy. Peeps in recovery is all you'll find at the meetings. It's a total atmosphere of recovery, and nobody is really in charge. It's like a miracle how those meetings started and how many millions of people have been saved from jails, institutions and death.

[mamaof4410]

Youre not alone. Meetings, meetings, meetings!
During one of my classes we had to add up the amount of money, court costs, bills,  etc that our drugs costs us...mine was towards $50,000. Not including relationships. Its scary the ppl we become when were using.