I can't do it

[Kfred]

I just can't stop the vics... I've been on and off the board for a year now...  My deal is simple.  Binge on pills for 10 days, then stop for 3 weeks or so.  I really don't have the physical symptoms to 'keep me clean' other than maybe 24-36 hours of physical cravings.  The mental is my battle.  I'm to the point of considering this sub drug I've read about, but I'm not sure if it'll help with my situation (being a mental addiction)    Any input would be great

[dominosarah]

Good point Bre3333!!!

[Bre333]

What are you trying to numb out? Do you think that maybe by identifying the root of the addiction/dependency then maybe  you can get over this finally? Sometimes when we figure out the "why" of why we repeat negative behaviors , it becomes easier to let go. I wish you the best, and take care of this before it gets worse!

[poleclip]

what is this sub drug

[gizzy32]

The mental is the toughest battle and there comes a time when we realize that we are powerless to our addiction and it's time to get some help. Your on a viscious cycle that will continue until you come up with a plan and work hard to STAY clean. I failed so much it became pointless to quit, i tried. I even went to N/A, but on my way to a meeting one day it hit me so hard i turned around and bought a case of beer and an 8ball of coke and didn't stop for 3 weeks. You have to dig deep, there are options available for help, sub being one, but i suggest looking into meetings, a counsellor or some type of aftercare first. You can do this, we just have to want it bad enough. Lets put an end to this today.

[dominosarah]

I know the mental part is hard.  How about trying to change it up and instead of saying i cant do it tell yourself YOU CAN DO IT.  Easier said than done i know but some sort of aftercare would help tremendously.  Stay with it...........sara

[lostsoul2]

Your story is a lot like mine, but I used a lot heavier and more often, same drug.  Relapsed a lot of times.  But now I am 3 weeks clean and feeling great, not like any time before.  I don't have any and would have to make a hard effort to get some which I don't even want to have.  It takes determination, willpower.  But I have done it this time through a really hard emotional battle, divorce, fighting over kids, etc.  This would have been my perfect excuse to use, but I don't even want it at all.  Don't even crave it.  I know this battle's not over, but if I can do it you can, trust me.

[cathy5841]

it is hard....but look at the end results.   there are many success stories on the forum now, but we all started out right where you are.  many tries, many times a couple days, week.  you are not alone with thinking you can not do it.  good new is YOU CAN.  you have to start thinking positive, make a plan, and stick to it.  you have to be more determined than you have ever been in your life.  you alo need to get some help.  na/aa or therapy or something.  nothing changes if nothing changes.  you have to cut out all sources for the pills.  if you cant get them you cnat take them.  you have to make changes, ALOT OF CHANGES.  dont think you cant, know you can.  keep reading and posting.

[avisg]

You can do it !!!!!!! A pill isnt going to help the mental part some type of recovery care aa/na a counselor is what you need for the mental part .What have you been doing.

[CYMER]

Initially after the withdrawals the mental part of it was indeed tough.  I gave myself some added points to focus on…like kids, job, wife...probably in that order Ha... and I have not looked back. With my military background every time the “mental” part would kick in I would do some pushups…even at work and with my back it was very hard. I had a hard time doing 5. Now I’m up to 50. The mental part for me is now gone and feeling great…doing pushups.

[GoingToMakeIt]

     Eventually it will get worse and worse. You are slowly wrecking various parts of your body and mind. Each binge lowers (depletes) your ability to produce seratonin along with other mood elevators and possible liver damage too. It also wrecks havoc with your immune system. You say you can't do it, but in truth, you can. Much of the battle is a mind set.
     Sub may be the answer for you, but only if you get counseling along with it. I am not a proponent of sub, but it does has a place. Good luck, you can win this battle.

"When your desire to get clean, is stronger than your desire to use. Then, you will get clean" GTMI