Aa
anxiety issues
Im nine months clean and sober. what a change that was. but my anxiety wont go away. im so aggrevated by it i decided to see a counsler. my fear is they will just give me pills. and i dont want any pills. i just want this sensation gone. instead of getting better my anxiety is worse.
I know i have alot of responsibilities and i admitt i dont handle stressful situwtions well. its very fustrated. i need help but im scared of the shrink. ive obsessed about the appointment. im freaked out by my addiction and what they will do. im scared i will be told to go back on pain meds. or both. i wish i knew how to manage my stress better.....
I do alot of activities to help me. but it seems nothing really takes away these new paninc attacks. going see a headshrinker isnt on my fun lists but i need help. and i know i cant continue this stress. my blood oressures been crazy. i feel like my heart is in my throat.
Do you think being clean has done this
I know i have alot of responsibilities and i admitt i dont handle stressful situwtions well. its very fustrated. i need help but im scared of the shrink. ive obsessed about the appointment. im freaked out by my addiction and what they will do. im scared i will be told to go back on pain meds. or both. i wish i knew how to manage my stress better.....
I do alot of activities to help me. but it seems nothing really takes away these new paninc attacks. going see a headshrinker isnt on my fun lists but i need help. and i know i cant continue this stress. my blood oressures been crazy. i feel like my heart is in my throat.
Do you think being clean has done this
Hey I just wanted to also add that you are going through some pretty major situational stuff with your daughter and hub and all. Keep in mind that this kind of stuff would stress out most anyone,normal or not,addict or otherwise.
Give yourself permission to feel some feelings that are quite normal to feel under this kind of OUTSIDE,life induced stress. Someone to talk to would be a great thing for you I think.
I don't think getting clean has done this to you,however,life and life situations has. Hang in there You are tough!!
Give yourself permission to feel some feelings that are quite normal to feel under this kind of OUTSIDE,life induced stress. Someone to talk to would be a great thing for you I think.
I don't think getting clean has done this to you,however,life and life situations has. Hang in there You are tough!!
I was just getting ready to ask the same questions Jimmy did. Did you have these obsessive thoughts and anxiety before? Perhaps part of what caused your addiction were those issues? It's all too common for people with anxiety disorders and depression (or other mental illnesses) to self medicate with drugs. If those issues were there before, it's totally understandable that they would still be there now, as you really haven't fully addressed them yet. Not to mention, it takes quite a while for the emotional aspect of addiction to sort of level out.
You said you're going to see a counselor, then you mention "shrink" and meds. Are you seeing both? A shrink (or psychiatrist) primarily only prescribes medication (and diagnoses mental illness). A therapist or counselor is the one who would actually do the therapy. I can totally understand your worry about meds, but like sarah said, you don't HAVE to agree to anything...your treatment is in your hands completely. Toss that worry right now. Have you ever been evaluated by a mental health professional and given an official diagnosis?
IMO...Sounds like you could be suffering from OCD. That or another anxiety disorder. That's your first step, if you haven't been thoroughly evaluated yet. You would need an accurate diagnosis so that you and your mental health team could properly develop a plan of attack. Meds do not HAVE to be part of anxiety/mood disorder treatment. Since you have the addiction history, it's very understandable that you would want to approach this without meds, and that's fine. There ARE meds that can be used in anxiety treatment that aren't "habit forming" that would be appropriate for someone with an addiction history, but there are a LOT of things you could try first to get this to a more manageable place. To be honest, meds only really help to control the symptoms, the REAL work comes from within anyway...so it's totally do-able to approach this without meds. Just in case you're worried you can't get better without meds, that's not true. IF after you've tried a lot of other approaches, you're still not seeing the desired results, you could discuss with your doctors some med options. There would be some options..but you can leave that as more or less a last resort, and it isn't something you need to worry about right now. There are ALWAYS options.
Therapy can be very helpful, particularly CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. It's a little different than traditional "talk therapy" in that it's a bit more "hands on" in teaching you ways to change your thinking process, to stop that obsessive thinking. I would recommend asking your doc for a referral to a therapist well versed in CBT if there is one around you. Even better yet, try to find a therapist who is also familiar with addiction. That would be a great bonus...someone to help you work through both issues.
There are MANY great resources out there for anxiety. Here's a health page I compiled with many different books that are great to read:
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
Anxiety is one of those things that takes time to work through to notice measurable improvements, especially if a person has been dealing with it for any length of time. MUCH of getting anxiety under control is in the hands of the sufferer. The professional help is paramount, but the work you will do on your own is where the real progress will occur. The hardest part of the anxiety treatment is usually waiting to see improvements..it's VERY hard to be patient when you feel so lousy, and feel like you're in a constant state of turmoil and conflict.
Please feel free to post on the anxiety community anytime, for info, or support. There's some great people there, who have lived through it and understand what it's like to contend with anxiety day in and day out. It's exhausting for sure. There's one particular poster over there, Paxiled, who encourages anxiety treatment more from a non-medication based approach. He is very knowledgeable about the more alternative ways to try to treat anxiety. Keep an eye out for his posts. You could even shoot him a PM, tell him I recommended you talking to him.
You also have a lot going on in your life...like others have said, you need to STOP trying to be a hero. Heros can't help anyone if they've worn themselves out, you know? You'd actually be a MUCH bigger help to those you care for, if you address YOUR issues, and put your OWN mental health on top of the priority list. Not easy to do, but with the right help, and some exploration and work on your part, you can get this to a manageable level where it isn't debilitating.
Very best to you!
You said you're going to see a counselor, then you mention "shrink" and meds. Are you seeing both? A shrink (or psychiatrist) primarily only prescribes medication (and diagnoses mental illness). A therapist or counselor is the one who would actually do the therapy. I can totally understand your worry about meds, but like sarah said, you don't HAVE to agree to anything...your treatment is in your hands completely. Toss that worry right now. Have you ever been evaluated by a mental health professional and given an official diagnosis?
IMO...Sounds like you could be suffering from OCD. That or another anxiety disorder. That's your first step, if you haven't been thoroughly evaluated yet. You would need an accurate diagnosis so that you and your mental health team could properly develop a plan of attack. Meds do not HAVE to be part of anxiety/mood disorder treatment. Since you have the addiction history, it's very understandable that you would want to approach this without meds, and that's fine. There ARE meds that can be used in anxiety treatment that aren't "habit forming" that would be appropriate for someone with an addiction history, but there are a LOT of things you could try first to get this to a more manageable place. To be honest, meds only really help to control the symptoms, the REAL work comes from within anyway...so it's totally do-able to approach this without meds. Just in case you're worried you can't get better without meds, that's not true. IF after you've tried a lot of other approaches, you're still not seeing the desired results, you could discuss with your doctors some med options. There would be some options..but you can leave that as more or less a last resort, and it isn't something you need to worry about right now. There are ALWAYS options.
Therapy can be very helpful, particularly CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. It's a little different than traditional "talk therapy" in that it's a bit more "hands on" in teaching you ways to change your thinking process, to stop that obsessive thinking. I would recommend asking your doc for a referral to a therapist well versed in CBT if there is one around you. Even better yet, try to find a therapist who is also familiar with addiction. That would be a great bonus...someone to help you work through both issues.
There are MANY great resources out there for anxiety. Here's a health page I compiled with many different books that are great to read:
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
Anxiety is one of those things that takes time to work through to notice measurable improvements, especially if a person has been dealing with it for any length of time. MUCH of getting anxiety under control is in the hands of the sufferer. The professional help is paramount, but the work you will do on your own is where the real progress will occur. The hardest part of the anxiety treatment is usually waiting to see improvements..it's VERY hard to be patient when you feel so lousy, and feel like you're in a constant state of turmoil and conflict.
Please feel free to post on the anxiety community anytime, for info, or support. There's some great people there, who have lived through it and understand what it's like to contend with anxiety day in and day out. It's exhausting for sure. There's one particular poster over there, Paxiled, who encourages anxiety treatment more from a non-medication based approach. He is very knowledgeable about the more alternative ways to try to treat anxiety. Keep an eye out for his posts. You could even shoot him a PM, tell him I recommended you talking to him.
You also have a lot going on in your life...like others have said, you need to STOP trying to be a hero. Heros can't help anyone if they've worn themselves out, you know? You'd actually be a MUCH bigger help to those you care for, if you address YOUR issues, and put your OWN mental health on top of the priority list. Not easy to do, but with the right help, and some exploration and work on your part, you can get this to a manageable level where it isn't debilitating.
Very best to you!
HI hey i found a great deal of help taking an all natural suplment for anxzity it called lemon balm just a droperful (15 DROPS) will curb your anxzity in about 1/2 hr it comes a a liquid pick some up it is about 14 bucks at the health food store good luck and as for the conslor I have been seeing on for over 3 yrs that and N/A meetings keep me clean you must treat the addiction you will need to arest it from within keep posting for support you can lead a normal life with little to know anxzity......Gnarly
Hi Friendo ! sorry you are having such anxiety. Are you still doing your swimming? Are you eating right and avoiding caffeine? Hope you feel better soon.
A question for you . Did you have a preexisting anxiety disorder or problems with panic or anxiety before the pills ? I ask because I do have axiety . It seems to come and go with me . I will spend years without any issues and then it seems to hit for no reason and stick around for a period of time and then just vanish . You may have an anxiety disorder . Its worth checking out . I don't take anything for it either . I just deal with it and know it will get better witch it always does . Jimmy
Hey Bama, first off I just want to say congrats on your significant amount of clean time. That is huge! I am right around you, I am at 309 days or a little over ten months. Just to let you know I had anxiety problems linger until about a month ago. That is just too weird that you too have anx problems at 9 months. I remember thinking to myself at month 6,7,8 and 9 that if the anxiety wasn't gone be then it would have to be here forever. Well let me tell you, the past few weeks it is gone. SO weird and I really cant put my finger on why it went. Hey it may even come back but just knowing that it can go away is so huge for me. It will eventually go away for you I promise. We have to figure out our stressors. BUt its hard sometimes, I would wake up on a sunny saturday with no work and maybe a plan to go running or fishing, and my anxiety would kick in, what could possibly be the trigger there? Dont know!! BUt i believe time also heals anxiety as well. I work out, eat healthy, down to 5 cigarettes a day, maybe a cup of coffee here or there. BUt time really helps. Plus faith, exercise and eating healthy. Just wanted to chime in and lend my support.
Its hard for me to find alot of relatable situations on here because many people, including myself, after some clean time on our belts, either stop posting or leave the site. I still come on here a few times a week and like to lend my support where and when I can. I just wish more people with clean time would come here and post.... But I love and respect and pray for every single person on here. And Bama, you will too get past this.
God Bless you and everyone!!! SUnny :)
Its hard for me to find alot of relatable situations on here because many people, including myself, after some clean time on our belts, either stop posting or leave the site. I still come on here a few times a week and like to lend my support where and when I can. I just wish more people with clean time would come here and post.... But I love and respect and pray for every single person on here. And Bama, you will too get past this.
God Bless you and everyone!!! SUnny :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Time to quit trying to be superwoman and take care of bama. Figure out what is yours to deal with. Hopefully talking with someone now will help you let go of the things that really arent yours to fret over. You are overwhelming that brain of yours and that is never a good thing for us addicts.
I just wanted to step in and say Great Job on your clean time..I had already 3 months Clean when I joined (now in 7) anyway I have followed you here and there in the past...I like what everybody said above..I just love this saying and I have to remind myself of this everyday..
FEAR IS NO FAITH
FAITH IS NO FEAR... althought that most likely is not the issue but openmind reminded me of it....Ha...
God Bless you..Very Good Job...
vickie
FEAR IS NO FAITH
FAITH IS NO FEAR... althought that most likely is not the issue but openmind reminded me of it....Ha...
God Bless you..Very Good Job...
vickie
Hi Bama,
I've followed your progress for some time and I can tell you that being clean is a blessing. I am still struggling to get clean and would give anything to have 9 months.
Trust me if the only issue I had now was some anxiety and back pain I would be happy. Using anything will not help it will simply put u back into that depressed counting pills feeling like crap state of existence.
Most of us are using to cope, it sounds like you are learning that stress and control are big triggers for you. I know they are for me.
I see a therapist and he never suggests drugs knowing my issues. He never would. Don't fear the appointment, use at another tool to stay clean and continue to heal
I've followed your progress for some time and I can tell you that being clean is a blessing. I am still struggling to get clean and would give anything to have 9 months.
Trust me if the only issue I had now was some anxiety and back pain I would be happy. Using anything will not help it will simply put u back into that depressed counting pills feeling like crap state of existence.
Most of us are using to cope, it sounds like you are learning that stress and control are big triggers for you. I know they are for me.
I see a therapist and he never suggests drugs knowing my issues. He never would. Don't fear the appointment, use at another tool to stay clean and continue to heal
Today I've been reading a work book on the 4th step. I haven't done any writing yet, I'm still trying to soak in the preparation part. It explains the word "fearless". And It tells me to "allow myself permission to fear something." I thought about that one. I'm full of fears. But when you think about it, we all have fears. Fear is a natural instinct. Like: "FEAR: Keeping the human race alive ever since mankind." I mean I'm sure early man didn't walk up and try to make a pet out of a saber toothed tiger. Fear is normal. Fear is healthy. Bama, there is nothing wrong with having the concerns and fears that you expressed in your post. Allow yourself permission to feel what you feel when you feel it. That's half the anxiety battle right there. You're okay, and you'll remain okay if you just don't use no matter what.
You're completely right about our doctors shoveling pills on all our problems. That's a fact. But never ever feel guilty saying the word "NO"!
You're completely right about our doctors shoveling pills on all our problems. That's a fact. But never ever feel guilty saying the word "NO"!
Are you old enough to know the joke and laugh with me about this one?
"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"
On a serious note, I really, really relate to you! I figured after 9 months clean I wouldn't have intense chronic pain and a lot of the other things I'm dealing with. My joke above was, hopefully, to make you smile, but also in reference to "you share how your doc visit goes and I'll share how mine goes"...cause I'm going this week, too, searching for some answers.
Your plate isn't just full.......heck....the food's falling off the plate!!! LOL
We just have to do "the next right thing" and see where it takes us. Using an addictive drug is just not an option for me......so we'll just have to "wait and see" as my hubby says....and I HATE that saying "wait and see", "wait and see", haha....I want to ring his neck when he says it.....but I know I need to hear it. So, girl.... we'll wait and see.....and in the meanwhile, I'll keep you in my prayers~
"I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"
On a serious note, I really, really relate to you! I figured after 9 months clean I wouldn't have intense chronic pain and a lot of the other things I'm dealing with. My joke above was, hopefully, to make you smile, but also in reference to "you share how your doc visit goes and I'll share how mine goes"...cause I'm going this week, too, searching for some answers.
Your plate isn't just full.......heck....the food's falling off the plate!!! LOL
We just have to do "the next right thing" and see where it takes us. Using an addictive drug is just not an option for me......so we'll just have to "wait and see" as my hubby says....and I HATE that saying "wait and see", "wait and see", haha....I want to ring his neck when he says it.....but I know I need to hear it. So, girl.... we'll wait and see.....and in the meanwhile, I'll keep you in my prayers~
Oh Man Bama, You have so much on your plate, I relate. You know you don't wanna go back to pill hell.You've worked so darn hard to stay above the water. Just my thoughts....When you go to therapist, let her know of your struggles in the past, your current struggles and your fears. Sometime meds are necessary to keep one level. If you have confidence in your Doc, be open to their suggestions, but remember the addict brain in our rear view that is always trying to pull us in. I know the only thing that helps my anxiety is exercise and sleepytime teas. Can you carve out sometime for a workout routine? So sorry for all your going thru. Prayers are on the way.
I never was one to obsesse before. im strung out from obsesslive thoughts now. and its physical now. my bp is thru the roof. my stress is demanding. allys upcoming hip replacement. Kids constantly bickering and complaining. husband is depressed and using again. the only light is mine. and now im completely aware of this it grinds me down. i want to run away from this stuff but cant.
Sorry im venting. cant keep it in anymore.
Sorry im venting. cant keep it in anymore.
Thanks. and im extremely pro active in my recovery. and my spirituality is important. ive tried everything. my cronic pain is very very high right now. im sick of hurting. my back screams in pain as well as my knees. but i wont take meds again.
I have picked up all my hobbies. sometimes it helps. For the moment im engaged in the activity. but the rest of the time i obsesse over things i have no control over. yes im a true control freak. lol. i hate being out of control.
i never get a break from life. life pounds the h e / / out of me. im prayerful now.
im still confused at times. its hard staying clean. but i cant and wont go backwards. im terrified this doctor will see me as a bad person.
I just wish i could let go and be....
I have picked up all my hobbies. sometimes it helps. For the moment im engaged in the activity. but the rest of the time i obsesse over things i have no control over. yes im a true control freak. lol. i hate being out of control.
i never get a break from life. life pounds the h e / / out of me. im prayerful now.
im still confused at times. its hard staying clean. but i cant and wont go backwards. im terrified this doctor will see me as a bad person.
I just wish i could let go and be....
You asked: "Do you think being clean has done this?"
The way I've been taught to answer something like that is to write out two lists.
A-list: what are the positives my sobriety has done for me?
B-list: what are the negatives my sobriety has done for me?
The way I've been taught to answer something like that is to write out two lists.
A-list: what are the positives my sobriety has done for me?
B-list: what are the negatives my sobriety has done for me?
COMMUNITY LEADER
You dont know for a fact that he/she will prescribe you anything. Make it very clear to them you dont want any pills of any kind. This is your recovery and you control it. Dont get all worked up about something that hasnt even happened yet.
I, too, fear returning to ANY doctor right now and am about the same amount of time clean as you are. I don't want to take DRUGS!! I truly want to wait this out and see what does and doesn't heal, ya know?
I have just surrendered myself to a dr's appt this week for a routine exam of vitals and bloodwork and to "talk". (my primary) BUT.....the psych dr I saw wanted to put me on 3 meds immediately and I made a personal decision to NOT return to him nor did I agree with his approach/thinking.
I am attempting to re-evaluate EVERY aspect of my life that affects anxiety, depression and pain. I don't have any income, not able to work yet, don't have insurance either.....so my boat may be moving slower than yours lol But, when I read your post above, I wondered if you are doing anything to assist physically or spiritually.....in your recovery?
Since we are created mental, physical and spiritual....if we just stop taking a drug and don't ADD other things as part of our recovery plan, maybe we could re-visit that in lieu of seeing a dr that may want to put us back on more meds.?? Don't know.....but I just wondered about exercise? Or some form of spiritual food/support/fellowship of recovering addicts? Or both? You may already be doing that..
I relate to your dilemma and I realize our histories are not the same.....my chronic pain and how long I was bedridden are huge factors for me, but at over 9 mos clean, I'm just not sure what to do either.
Guess you can always go, listen, and then decide. We don't HAVE to fill a script...and I'm one of those that is pro-active in my own health after my trip down "drug lane" so I really research, wait and pray about adding back a drug to my daily life. It doesn't hurt to gather information, listen to more than one approach, see more than one dr, etc. and THEN decide. I kinda am thinkin (for me anyway) there isn't a wrong road....it may fork....or I may have to turn around and take a different road.....but this "doing nothing" when I feel like caa-caa all the time ain't cuttin it, lol.
Natural herbs may be an answer and visiting the anxiety forum and reading their posts may help you, too.
Just some thoughts.......I wish you well~
I have just surrendered myself to a dr's appt this week for a routine exam of vitals and bloodwork and to "talk". (my primary) BUT.....the psych dr I saw wanted to put me on 3 meds immediately and I made a personal decision to NOT return to him nor did I agree with his approach/thinking.
I am attempting to re-evaluate EVERY aspect of my life that affects anxiety, depression and pain. I don't have any income, not able to work yet, don't have insurance either.....so my boat may be moving slower than yours lol But, when I read your post above, I wondered if you are doing anything to assist physically or spiritually.....in your recovery?
Since we are created mental, physical and spiritual....if we just stop taking a drug and don't ADD other things as part of our recovery plan, maybe we could re-visit that in lieu of seeing a dr that may want to put us back on more meds.?? Don't know.....but I just wondered about exercise? Or some form of spiritual food/support/fellowship of recovering addicts? Or both? You may already be doing that..
I relate to your dilemma and I realize our histories are not the same.....my chronic pain and how long I was bedridden are huge factors for me, but at over 9 mos clean, I'm just not sure what to do either.
Guess you can always go, listen, and then decide. We don't HAVE to fill a script...and I'm one of those that is pro-active in my own health after my trip down "drug lane" so I really research, wait and pray about adding back a drug to my daily life. It doesn't hurt to gather information, listen to more than one approach, see more than one dr, etc. and THEN decide. I kinda am thinkin (for me anyway) there isn't a wrong road....it may fork....or I may have to turn around and take a different road.....but this "doing nothing" when I feel like caa-caa all the time ain't cuttin it, lol.
Natural herbs may be an answer and visiting the anxiety forum and reading their posts may help you, too.
Just some thoughts.......I wish you well~
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