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anybody struggling

by hippy, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
Tags: Addiction
just wanted to open the thread to anyone who might be struggling to get clean, we are all here for each other, so any body
struggling in any way , let us know , sometimes just sharing about can be a releif.
Member Comments (52)

by NWBoy, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
I'm just beginning my sobreity and looking for resources, advice and any inspirational messages people can offer.  I have been sober for a week.  Sober meaning no meth after 6 months of use.  I've had a few drinks over the 4th.  Is it different for everyone in that no meth means no other drugs?  I loved to go out to clubs and also did Ecstasy, GHB, ketamine but not regular user. I feel like I am through the physical addiction (maybe I'm not) and now I have to deal with changing my behavior.  I so wanted to go out last night but don't want to do crystal ever again.  Is that naive to think I maybe able to do other drugs or even go out right now and stay away from meth.  I'm a gay male in my late twenties trying to balance feelings of loneliness with drug use.  Up until NOW drugs would win.  Just looking for input.  Also are there any supplements I should be taking to help my mental state or help my body repair itself?

by JSmith02, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
just be happy you didn't marry the dragon. She's not so easily gotten rid of.

Thomas

by Kritty, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
Has anyone been addicted to Vicodin ES and how did you stop? Are there deadly withdrawals?

by hippy, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: kritty
yes i was addicted to 10 to 20 vike's a day.
if you read through the post you can find a lot of info.
how much were you taking.
the withdrawls are  ,depression, totol lack of energy, unable to sleep. sweats, restless leg, and general discomfort is putting it mildly. the worst is the first week then it slowly gets better. the lack of energy can last for a fw\ew weeks.
there is a vitamine receipe on the fourm here known as
thomas's receipe it really helped me a lot, as a matter af fact untill i started taking the receipe i had tried to quit on a number of times and could not.

the receipe is to be taken as suggested some of us here swear by it.

l-tyrosine 500mgs 8 times a day week 1, 4 times a day the following weeks.
b-6 100mg twice a day
a strong multy vitimine
vitamine's A, C and e
calsium-magnisum
copper
magneese
phosphorus
zinc

imoudium for the run's
------------------------------------------------------------
gotoraide is good for lost electrolites
banna's is good for leg spasams

good luck

by theonlybenzoaddct, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Mr.mike§gwh
Yes. I am still here. I am alive, But un fortunatly still taking my Xanax 10 2mg bars daily. This is alot considring the usual dose for a 23y male at 155lbs is 1-1.5 a day. Most of the people on this site are addics of pain meds or otherwise. Going through withdraws through painkillers is horrid,I know ive been there(was aslso addictid to phenatyl, morphine sulphate) I had major orthodonic surgery. But going through w/d off of benzo can kill, Cause siezures, and psycotic episodes. I'm trying to taper down with the help from my Dad. He give's me 2mg aday to keep me from siezures and schizoid. I truly think i can beat this. I need the meds for my social anxiety,Insomnia, ext..
So I really think i can learn how to take them as directed. Or is there a way a pharmacy can deal them out like a methadone clinic. thanks for the help. your god understands. remeber
that.
                   Andy,
                        theonlybenzo adddict

by hippy, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: the only b addict
your dad helping you sounds like a good plan,
i don't think a pharmacy would be of any help in that area'
they would not want the responsabilty, or to be liable.
keep up the good work and good luck
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by theonlybenzoaddct, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: Hippie
Thank you for the response, the responses I get from this forum help me out more than NA, For the main reason is that the Na meetings we have her tend to be a swap meet:-( AND I have been clean off of Morphine sulphate ,phenatyl,and percodans for over almost a year. I can actually take meds as precribed, so if I get 7.5 vics or darvocet I dont abuse them. The buzz that i get from a priscription (prescription) for a extracted tooth is not pleasant anymore, It actually keeps me up and gives me more anxiety or panic. Thats when I tend to fall back on my real addiction which most of you now know by now as Aprazolam(Xanax) or any oter benzodiazepam i can get my junkie little hands on. The good thing is I stopped doing horrid thing to get them. The stealing, lying,ext.. I'm doin 100% bettler than what I was a year ago. I still have relapses, But I'm not suicidal any more.
and I don't eat pharmies to the brink  overdose. But im still an addict.
                    andy thebenzoguy :)

by Creamie, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
To: benzoguy
Please, be very careful with your taper. I had a total of 4 seizures, over a five year period, trying to taper on my own.
One occured, when I was taking 1mg/day,in divided doses. This is not like getting off the opiates. I know you dad wants to help. You should talk to your Dr. I never had a history of seizures,& I've been seizure free 7 yrs. I was doc hopping, came clean, now I'm on 1.5 mg/day.
Sek medical help. I'd have no warning of impending seizure. I once had one at a PTO meeting, I woke up in the ER, my license was taken for one year, because ER docs had to report anyone with diagnosis of seizure disorder to  DMV, at least in my state. What a hassle. The thing is, I could've killed someone, if I had a seizure while driving.. Be careful, Andy!!!

by 1fortheroad, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: hippy
i am struggling - as always.  i feel very blah these days.  i seem to have lost the excited feeling i used to get when looking forward to things i love to do.  i'm still taking celexa for depression, but it doesn't seem to be doing much.  i've switched over to others in the past, but the side effects were more than i could handle.  the depression is the worst part of all this.  i've tapered the bup down to a very small amount, and i am FEELING it big time. i hate this ****!  i'm sick of being sick and sick of hearing myself talk about it.

by 1fortheroad, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: p.s.?
does anyone know of anything to take that gets rid of the chills/sweats?  this is all starting now that i am at this low level of bup...i didn't think this would happen.  i guess i don't manage the taper thing very well.

by OxyDout, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: Everyone/groovy
Hey guys, I'm on day 10, but of course there is always something........ On 2 different occassions, I took 2 vic's, the first was on fourth of july at night, and the second was sat. afternoon, I took only 1 each time, but other then that, I'm 10 days deep and I don't feel so bad, and I sure as hell don't want to get back into it, I really don't. I think this could be it!!!!

Groovy, the only thing that helped me was a nice cup of tea........ but I don't think there is much else to help you out. you know............ How are you doing?

GWH

by skipper, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: groovy
groovy:
have you tried thomas' recipe? the regiment of l-tyrosine, b6,
zink, manganese, and magnesium has worked wonders for me. the
only other suggestion is lots of hot baths, imodium (immodium), and some-
thing to help you sleep at night. other than that, time is the
only thing.

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

by DowninPA, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
Hello!
I was surfing yesterday looking for information on Welbutrin and alcohol use and found this board.
Started reading the posts this morning and thought to myself 'this really seems like a good place for me to post.' It's very difficult for me to talk about my feelings and my addiction.
Here's my story:
I've abused alcohol since getting married 8 years ago.  I'll go 3-4 days with nothing and then feel down in the dumps and lazy so I'll have a beer.  And another, and another and another. After the sugar rush kicks in I clean like crazy, laugh, and feel "normal."
The next day will be filled with terrible anxiety and I'll either smoke pot or take Ativan to help feel better.
This cycle has been going on forever it seems.  

In the last year I almost completely stopped doing this, only having a beer here and there and not smoking pot and not taking ativan. Why?  Cause I felt truly happy....as I was pregnant. :)

2 months ago I gave birth to the most beautiful child.  Since then I have gone through quite a lot of feeling depressed, was diagnosed with PPD, put on Welbutrin to help cut down on my smoking and to lift my mood, have gotten drunk more than several times and am very upset with myself for both drinking and smoking cigs.
I DO NOT want my daughter growing up with a mother who is either depressed because of drinking the day before, happy cause she is drinking now, zoning cause she is stoned, or stinking because she is smoking cigs.

I'm not sure what else to say at the moment 'cept that I am praying that maybe THIS time I can make the break from all these things and be a more happy-with-myself kind of person.

My main problem ... drinking beer.  The other stuff, smoking, pot and ativan I can tolerate as pot I hardly ever smoke (once a month? and have no fear of totally quitting), cigs I am trying to quit (have smoked for 22 years), and ativan I use sparingly for help with sleep and anxiety (no more than 2mg a day, usually 1mg. )

Anyway...it's nice to type this out.  Eh, not nice, but I have hope this may help, being here.

by theonlybenzoaddct, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: everyone§hippie
Is there anything I can do to take away the aparzolam jonses. Would the Recipe work for a benzo diazapam addict. I cant quit cold turkey or I'll roll uo like adead cockroach. I'm down to 1-2mg a day from 10-14mg a day. I need something soothing other than Phish to listen too! Learning w/ my dad help to take meds responsibly. Either eat all you xanax at once and get rid of a panic attack and act stupid for three hours and passout. Or use them like I should and have them last for 10 days, you decide which one is better. I'll take the ladder, and make it last.

by tex3, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
Groovy, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with the WD after all. That sucks. Have you ever tried Kava Kava? It really helped me, when I had mild WD because I'd taken most of my pills and had to spread them too thin. Are you going to stay on the bup or just use it for the headaches? I think you've still got enough opiate in your system from them that when you quit or taper, you're having those WD feelings, maybe muted though. When I quit bup I was in bed depressed, didn't eat much, but overall wasn't anything like regular opiate WD. I might have had cold sweats; don't remember. Hang in there and know we're here for you.

GWH, you're doing great! 10 days, wow, I'm proud of you. Stay away from the little beasts or you'll have to pay those 10 days all over again. Are you taking the methadone? Hang in, you're doing wonderful.
tracy

by tex3, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: Andy
Hi Andy. Sounds like you're really working at this. Congratulations! I was on pain pills and that was my real problem. But when I went through some crises in my life and started have panic attacks, I got on Xanax. Within a few weeks I was up to 1mg, three times a day. I sometimes took more. I think that's what saved me, because I never had a chance to get totally hooked as I ran out too quick! Then I'd wait awhile before calling in for more. But taking them on top of the pain meds had me so loopy I couldn't function. I finally just stopped taking them, after a few months of off/on use. A few months after that, I had a seizure (not attributed to the xanax though, as I'd had one before all that), so now I can't take anything like that, according to my doc. He said it lowers the threshold.

I wish I could offer more advice but I just don't have the experience. I do know about addiction though as I've lived it for the past several years, after playing around with it for most of my life. It's hell, but it does get easier the further you get from the drugs. I still have cravings, but I try to take them in stride, look at them like a side effect being clean - instead of getting all worked up about them like I did at first. They're going to come, I'll have to deal with them, so just get past it, right? Sometimes it's hard, sometimes easy. Hang in there buddy, and stick around here. We're all pulling for you.
tracy

by hellbent, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: Benzo

Well, I recently kicked benzos cold. I was taking klonopin to aid in an Oxycontin Detox. I took them for 4-6 months ( they wiped my memory, I can't remember how long exactly, and I was taking 10-14 mgs a day - which is more than 20X therapeutic doses).

I detoxed from OC's and Klonopin simultaneously, but I can say without equivocation that the Klonopin detox was much worse than the OC detox. It was horrible beyond belief. However, I did not die, nor did I get the worst symptoms (nausea, cramps, headaches, or seizures). I think that people who already have a major problem that is being treated (like epilipsy), are the ones who go through seizures. I was awake for 23 days straight, which caused the walls to breathe, but I lived. Has anyone actually heard of someone dying from benzo withdrawal? I hear it's possible, but have never heard of an instance of it happening.

Benzoaddict, the safest way to get off is to taper, but that wasn't possible for me, ever. It's been 2 months without benzos, and 2-1/2 without opiates, and I'm feeling human again. A benzo taper from the habit I had would have taken a year or more. They usually take you down 1/2 mg every 2 weeks or every month. I thank god that I am just done with the dogshit and don't need to worry about it anymore.

For tapering, Klonopin is far better than Xanax, as it's half-life is 7 times longer. A dose will last you 24 hrs or more.

What, exactly, are you taking right now, and in what amounts? You mention Xanax, and Aparzolam.

**** NA. If it's like it is here, it probably won't keep you sober. Get to AA meetings. If you don't have any alcoholic past, introduce yourself as an addict only. If anyone gives you any **** for it (and this is VERY unlikely), let them know that alcohol is a ******* drug like any other, and that they don't have anything you want anyway. Find the people you can relate to and believe in. It makes all the difference.




by OxyDout, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: tex3
no Methadone for me, I refused to take anymore because I already went through the post withdrawal 2 days after I stopped taking it. but you know what is weird, every day, right around 12 noon and 10pm, I get the restless leg, and feel awful, I'm afraid because it happened again today and I don't want to give in, I can't give in, Has anyone else experienced that?????

GWH

by jonesing247, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: NWBoy
Hey NW, i can relate, email me at ***@****. bye.

by hippy, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: groovy
sorry to here the taper is giving you problems,in any
event you will be ok.
like skipper said the l-tyrosine 500mg 8 times a day real does help, i took them all in the morning, at first i thought these people must be crazy to take 8 vitimines of any kind at once.
but i looked it up and that is the fda daily allotment.
another thing is to keep moving don'y lay around.
go bookstore, movies, out to eat,take a walk.
it was good to read gwh post today.
I hope to read one by you soon.

peace!!!!!!!!!!! and no matter what never give up.
i really beleive there is some kind of divine intervention need ed to get clean.

i hope you feel better

by tex3, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: gwh
GWH - the restless leg will pass, but I know it really sucks. You have to get further along and it will stop; taking a pill will only be a short-term solution because then you'll have to deal with it all again. Better to suck it up and deal with it for a day or two. HOWEVER, I took a muscle relaxant (prescribed for just this) for a good ten days, I think, to deal with that. I was on skelaxin, which helped but not enough, and then zanaflex, which totally knocked it out. Knocked me out, too, but at least I got through it. This is the only thing that ever helped me personally with the leg thing. And I know that can be a real *****; mine would hop all over the place. Sometimes I'd just let it go instead of trying to stop it. Others I would force it to calm down. That helped more.
You're doing great so please hang in there! And congratulations on how far you've come.
tracy

by skipper, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: gwh
gwh:
ws burroughs put it best..."a man could simply die, because he
couldn't stand the way he felt in his own body...." i had RLS be-
fore drugs...and it still made me crazy. you're probably looking
for a quick chemical way to deal with it .... good news and bad news....the only drugs that ever worked were klonopin (a long acting benzo) and this kind of wierd and icky neural muscle relaxer called baclofen. they both can be problomatic, so think about it first! nothing (especially in the world of drugs is free...so really do your research before you see the doc. your doc is gonna be scared as hell about baclofen, or he won't give any more than a passing thought. i don't believe there are controls on it.

hey whatever you do...try to take that leg for a litlle extra walk or swim...exercise is the best long term strategy for RLS. i know how hard it is to pick up your tired old drug withdrawn self and do anything...isn't it odd that what you least want to do is what you need to do the most...god make me want the things i need!...

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

by scared in so cal, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: Groovy, Please respond
It's been a couple months since I posted here about doc shopping. I've been really busy lately (mainly getting pills), but today I had some free time on my hands and was reading a post about what you had said about doc shopping. A list of ALL your scripts was sent to ALL your doctors! I can't imagine the horror.
My questions to you are, what type of insuance did you have? What were the consequences? Did your insurance carrier cancel you? (I'm most scared of that) Was your insurance with a large or small carrier? Without giving too much away, I'm with one of the biggest providers in CA. I'm hoping they have too much other stuff on their plate than to notice frequent urgent care visits. After recently discovering that I have a slipped disk with nerve damage invololved, I almost feel entitled to as many vicodin as I want. Please respond, even though nothing has happened in the past few months with my doc shopping, I always, always worry. One more question, would you have ever known about the list if your doctor friend had not told you?
Amber

by MissyD, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
Hello Everyone,
  I was here about 2 weeks ago.  I was in the middle of WD's and then blew it.  Well, me and hubby are on Day 3 clean.  We are struggling with the emotional aspect of all this.  How do we get our SH__ together without falling apart?  I can barley make it to the kitchen without having to go and sit down again.  I want to be strong.
  I was wondering if anyone has an opinion on taking Ultracet during this time.  He does have pain and I was wondering if that would be a bad thing?  Any input?
  If you need to know about what my situation is you can find my name in a posting below...but here is a brief update....
   15 Norco 10/325 a day and throw in some Soma on top.  What a mess.  This has been going on for over a year now.  So we have stopped.  Been down this road before...but we want this.....we knew we had to do it together.  
  Any input ...it would be great.  Thank you so much
We can do it...

by Kritty, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: hippy
Hi, I am sorry I have not responded I didn't see the comment, however if you look at the comment I made to buddyboy it is about me going to the doctor today. It is my first day of being weened off the right way. It is diificult and I am scared bbut I want to do it. Is there any other chat lines we all can talk on? When I need to talk with someone I would like to be you guys who understand then my family who are supportive but in their own way. Thanks for writing.

by billyk, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
Darn, Darn, Darn. I have given in to temptation after 3 days of only taking 1 Lortab a day (down from 10 a day) I felt horrid so I decided to wean a little slower before my long awaited Dr.'s appointment in three days from now. I have now fallen off the wagon, and ran it in to a ditch. I have now taken 60mg today. Any suggestions of what I should be doing before my Dr.'s appointment in three days to make it easier to w/drawl from the Lortabs. I obviously have no idea of what to do, and what the dr. is going to do. Have I blown the three previous agonizing days to only have to deal with ALL the w/drawls again?

by mrmichael67, Jul 08, 2002 12:00AM
To: missyd
The ultracet will help.  As long as it is taken as prescribed, it is pretty safe.  It should also help take the edge off of the withdrawals.

by MissyD, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
Hello,
  Me and my husband have sat here and read for hours the different stories and feel like we are not alone.  It's so weird, we feel like we are the only ones living in this hell and when you all share your struggles it makes us "new comers" feel quite not so alone.
  We want to do this and tomorrow will be day 4 for us.  We are trying to stay strong and get our heads clear to deal with life.  I feel isolated and I want to talk and share and my husband is keeping his feeling inside a lot of the time.  Then he will come and talk to me, but I walk around here feeling like the weight of the world is on me, even though we are just beginning this journey it seems like I will never be able to be clear headed again.  I keep reading the posts were people get this **** out of their system and things are better.  They start to live without this burden and clockwatching.  I want to get up in the morning and not reach for my bottle of pills.  I want to be able to make plans and not worry that I will be low and not be able to handle being around people.  The addiction has stopped me from doing so much.  I want my life back.  I want to just be able to GO.  Well, I am proud that I am almost at day 4 and guess what that is close to day 5.  One day at a time.  One hour, one minute.  
  Thank you again for everyone who shares, just know it means a lot to us that are trying to get it right.
take care..Missy

by theonlybenzoaddct, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Tex N' Hellbent
Whem I take Xanax the way I should I would be prescribes 4mg's daily. When I abuse I take as many as 10-17mg of the 2mg white bars. Tonight I ate only 1mg at 2:30am est. I aslo took a Hydrocodone 7.5mg1750mg acetominipne. I do not abuse pain killer any longer. The reason I took the Vicodin is because of a reacurring aknkle pain where I ripped out every tendon ligiment, and cartlige in my right ankle. The good news is that I have quit taking my paxil. That drug scared the hell out of me. I belive that was a very addictive substance. It gives me brain Zaps constantly, horribly vivid dreames of screwing over lost love ones, and lost loves,and loved ones i have now. I am also seeing a Doctor on Friday at the miamy co, board of mental health, I hade horrible isomnia and anxiety+bad panic attacks before I started taking Xanax. Thats one of the reasons I started abusing them in the first place. Anywaze, I wonder what the psychiatrists will prescribe. I hope klonipin, to taper of the Xanax, and another antidepressent/long term anxiety ssri.
And some good counciling. Not only at the mental clinic,but mostly with you loving bunch of eye, ears, and hearts.
                        Andy theonlyrecoveringbenzoaddict

by theonlybenzoaddct, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
We also can't forget all the other brother and sisters out there with other addictions. To me(and I don't want to offend any of the posters on this site)this site mainly attracts we addicits addicted to Oxy's Percodan, percocet, and of course Vicodin-the evil *******-. But the point Im trying to get to is that there are people out there addictid to xanax,valium,adderal,adivan,Lorazepam(all benzodiazepams). Fiorcet,butalbital,phenbarbital(barbituates).And all other prescription meds that are addictive. We need to reach out to those groups too. The love and understanding here is universal.
                       Love,
                          Andy the recovering benzo addict

by hellbent, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: BenzoAndy

You are definitely not the only benzo addict, here or anywhere else. There are FAR more benzo addicts than opiate addicts. They are a silent majority that is prescribed benzos for all kinds of ailments, many of them psycological. If you really want resources for benzo addicts, they are a mouse click away at any search engine. http://www.benzo.org.uk/ is an excellent site.

Benzos are, in my opinion, hideously over prescribed. For most people, they stop affecting the symptoms as tolerance increases (a perfect example is anxiety). The patient needs to take more to have the same relief. As they take more, they become zombies. When they want to stop, they find that even a light reduction in dose will cause far greater anxiety than they ever experienced when they were benzo free. These drugs suppress your central nervous system like a ******* 10,000lb anchor. When your cns starts to re-awaken, you get anxiety like you never imagined, along with plenty of other symptoms.

Taking benzos for insomnia? Better not take them for very long, or you will really understand insomnia when you try to lower your dose.

Again, this is just my opinion, and I don't have experience with anxiety disorder or social phobia or the myriad other disorders for which these drugs are prescribed, but my feeling is that these disorders are treated far more effectively by uncovering the root cause of the problem, not suppressing the symptom. Pharmaceutical companies and lazy physicians would rather just take the ez road and prescribe benzos.

by mrmichael67, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Andythebenzoguy
This board is here for every addict, whatever the addiction happens to be.  I know of some benzo addicts.  Anyone is welcome to post here.  Whether they choose to or not is really out of everyone's hands.

by tex3, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Billy, Missy
Hi billy and welcome aboard. Don't stress too much about your slip - just don't use it as an excuse to keep using, either. Stop right where you're at and go back to what you were doing before the slip. Anything is better than getting full-blown again, and the lower the dose you're at when you see the doctor, the easier it will be for you. So forgive yourself and keep moving forward, with the memory of how easy it is to mess up in the business. One usually leads to many.

Missy, you will do some deep mind and soul searching in the coming weeks. I would first recommend not thinking too much, getting well physically. Will write more later.

by OxyDout, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Skipper
Thanks skip, I'm assuming the RLS will go away because I NEVER had it before, I MEAN NEVER, until I hit withdrawals, so I will suck it up and deal with it until its gone.............. I guess.........

by MissyD, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: tex
hi tex,
I am doing so much better.  I am on day 4 and I am up and around.  I am feeling like I have a cold coming on but I think it's just my body trying to regroup.  I will hang in there and my husband is right next to me, and doing just as well.  THis is really going to be ok...Thanks for your words:)
Missy

by 1fortheroad, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Scared in so Cal
i haven't been here much lately, so i'm sorry it took so long to respond.  i was with a very big insurance co here in ma.  i probably wouldn't have known the details about what was sent to whom if my friend hadn't told me.  i would have just gone to my appointments, and the doctors probably would have said they wouldn't treat me anymore - i don't think they would have offered much of an explanation.  i really think that i would have arrived at a pharmacy to pick up a script, and the police would have shown up.  i have heard of that happening around here more and more, and YES they do pay attention to obvious patterns of abuse like dr. hopping and filling scripts at many different pharmacies.  i had five doctors going and 5 different pharmacies at one point. i'm so glad i am thru with all that.  are you really worried that you are going to get in trouble?

by alexandra_r, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
Hi There,

I've been reading through these comments--and thought I'd throw a couple of questions out there.  I'm no stranger to addiction.  I was addicted to heroin and cocaine for about 5 years--this was over 10 years ago.  A real success story--graduated with highest honors, on to grad school--all the way.  I have a great job, love what I do.  Over a year ago, I was picking up an elliptical cross trainer with a friend because I moving) and I heard a horrible "pop" and felt the most intense pain I've ever felt.  Had an MRI--diagnosed with a herniated disc that was hitting on the sciatic nerve.  The doctor prescribed painkillers--vicodin--and I accepted.  I didn't tell him about my previous addiction to heroin because I was at the student health service and didn't want that info on my permanenet record.

Cut to the present.  I am trying to quit the vicodin--my back is better.  I was on the Vicodin ES (7.5 mg), using about 7 - 8 of these a day.  About 6 months ago, I cut down to the regular vicodin (5 mg), using about 7 - 8 a day.  I am trying to wean myself off--I'm down to about 4 a day.  Basically, I feel like ****--but don't want to feel like MORE ****, so don't think I want to cold turkey.  But--I am wondering if the gradual decrease has worked for anyone out there or am I just kidding myself?  Is cold turkey the only way to go?  Any experiences/info is really appreciated.

Thanks,
Melinda

by scared in so cal, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: groovy
Thanks for the reply. Yes, I'm a little worried about getting caught. Tell me though, did they cancel your insurance on you over this? I may need back surgery and there is no way I can afford this on my own. One thing that confuses me though is that you say you thought the next step would be getting arrested at the pharmacy. How would the police even know what pharmacy you are going to? Do you think they would have followed you from the doctors office? I don't think my doctors would even write a script for a narcotic if they were to receive a list such as the one you described. Also,I quite often pay cash for my scripts and don't even tell them I have insurance, same with some of the doctors office visits. Maybe this has saved me. What do you think?

by tex3, Jul 09, 2002 12:00AM
To: Alexandra
Hi and welcome. You sound like you're doing great with the taper and have a lot of self control. If that's the case, I'd stick to it and keep weaning yourself down, thereby saving yourself the pain of acute detox. Taper is the way to go if you can do it. I, unfortunately, never could, so had to do it the hard way. But as long as you stick to your schedule and keep weaning yourself, I bet you're fine.
tracy

by 1fortheroad, Jul 10, 2002 12:00AM
To: Scared in so Cal
on this list, it listed the drug i was prescribed, the doctor and the pharmacy where it was filled. my dr. told me that not only did this list go to each dr that i had seen, but it also went to each pharmacy.  he told me that he has seen people try to fill a prescription, meanwhile, the pharmacy was phoning the cops.  think about it...if a pharmacy had proof that you were getting scripts filled with them as well as with 4 or 5 others - all for narcotics - all within a very short time span, why wouldn't they do something about it.  the same goes for the drs.  my doc would not continue writing a script for the narcotics, and i didn't visit any of the other ones again to find out if they would.  a couple of these drs made me sign a contract stating i would only gets scripts from them and i would only use one particular pharmacy - i had to name that pharmacy in the contract.  this is becoming more common practice in ma.

maybe it's me, but you seem to be questioning my story...i'm not sure why, but i offered the information here because i thought it might save someone the trouble of getting busted.

my insurance was not cancelled, but i'm sure it was only a matter of time.

by skipper, Jul 10, 2002 12:00AM
about doc shopping:
several months ago my personal doc showed me a list of Rx my in-
urance co. sent him. it listed Rx from my personal doc, a neuro-
surgeon, and a pain clinic. my personel doctor told me he had on-
ly heard of this happening before. i don't believe in my state
they persue doc-shoppers. anyhow my personel doc's only concern
was what to tell the DEA, when they showed up. i told him i would
love for them to come talk to me...hell i'ld even show them the
scars from the last 2 spinal surgerys!

in spite of what most people want to believe, pain specialist MDs
don't just treat anyone who floats in off the street. the one i'm
currently seeing, went over all the medical records, x-rays, and
diagnostic reports...then he put me on enough oxy to control the
pain! enough that i quit thinking about blowing my brains out with a shotgun...

hell, it's easier to do a B&E on your favorite drug store than it
is to go the pain clinic route...i will give my pain doc the pat
on the back he deserves for standing up to the constant assult of
bull-**** the DEA throws at him!

the "war on drugs" is just another way to say the most frighten-
ing infringement on civil rights to date..

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

by scared in so cal, Jul 10, 2002 12:00AM
To: groovy
I'm sorry if I seemed to be questioning your story, I think it's my own denile. I didn't think about the pharmasicist calling the cops while you are waiting there. I also have about 25 different pharmacies that I go to so doctors are never doubled at any pharmacy that I go to. Thank you for taking the time to answer the million questions I had. I'm just having such a hard time right now.
amber

by jennyfla, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
To: All and GWH
Haven't been around, just lurking and reading!!!!!
GWH, just had to write to say how proud i am and to keep up the good work; you're an inspiration for me!!!!!
Don't give in, you've come too far!!!!
Everyone else, stay strong and keep striving to regain your life back!  I need to find my way, and your stories really help!
Lv Jenny

by Hinkster, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
I to are from Ma and attend a pain management center. Groovy is
right in Ma they made me sign a contract stating that I could
only get opiate pain killers from them and I could only use one
pharmacy to fill my scripts. Well I went to a pharmacy close to
home with the same chain and they nailed me right then. They
asked what was I doing here when I had signed a contract with the
pharmacy across town. So I had to drive across town and use that
pharmacy even though it was the same chain I was at the first time.
Tom

by scared in so cal, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
To: hinkster and groovy
All I can say is good god, I'm glad I don't live in MA Or MD sorry I don't remember which one it is. I live here in CA and I've never heard of such a thing. Maybe there are just too many people in CA to regulate. I think that is a gross invasion of one's privacy, all over what pharmacy to go to? Sorry, it just really gets me going.

by ash, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
To: hippy
hi its ash. hope you have been well. im in w/ds now. sucksss!
Im doind the recipe but was wondering how much of the calcium-magnisium,zinc,magnesse,copper,and phophorus do i take? Thanks and take care.

ash

by OxyDout, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
To: jennafly
I don't know who posted it, but I will tell you that I do feel like I'm getting a "hug" when reading your posts, so thank you, its very comforting.

GWH

by jennyfla, Jul 11, 2002 12:00AM
To: GWH
Awwwwww, that was so sweet!!!!
You made my day and i'm going to make it to another sunrise!!!
:)
I guess it's my strong mothering nature coming through, it's great to see you so happy and ready to face each day with confidence.
Your car sounds great, and your plan to get engaged is wonderful!!!!
Stay focused on your dreams and you won't fail!!!!
Lv Jenny

by Jul, Sep 04, 2002 12:00AM
hi  my husband takes like 15-20 vicadin an a day can you tell me how to get him off?

by Jul, Sep 04, 2002 12:00AM
hi  my husband takes like 15-20 vicadin an a day can you tell me how to get him off?

by Jul, Sep 04, 2002 12:00AM
hi  my husband takes like 15-20 vicadin an a day can you tell me how to get him off? please i need to no

by Jul, Sep 04, 2002 12:00AM
hi need to talk to somebody help
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