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anybody struggling
by hippy, Jul 07, 2002 12:00AM
just wanted to open the thread to anyone who might be struggling to get clean, we are all here for each other, so any body
struggling in any way , let us know , sometimes just sharing about can be a releif.
struggling in any way , let us know , sometimes just sharing about can be a releif.
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Thomas
if you read through the post you can find a lot of info.
how much were you taking.
the withdrawls are ,depression, totol lack of energy, unable to sleep. sweats, restless leg, and general discomfort is putting it mildly. the worst is the first week then it slowly gets better. the lack of energy can last for a fw\ew weeks.
there is a vitamine receipe on the fourm here known as
thomas's receipe it really helped me a lot, as a matter af fact untill i started taking the receipe i had tried to quit on a number of times and could not.
the receipe is to be taken as suggested some of us here swear by it.
l-tyrosine 500mgs 8 times a day week 1, 4 times a day the following weeks.
b-6 100mg twice a day
a strong multy vitimine
vitamine's A, C and e
calsium-magnisum
copper
magneese
phosphorus
zinc
imoudium for the run's
------------------------------------------------------------
gotoraide is good for lost electrolites
banna's is good for leg spasams
good luck
So I really think i can learn how to take them as directed. Or is there a way a pharmacy can deal them out like a methadone clinic. thanks for the help. your god understands. remeber
that.
Andy,
theonlybenzo adddict
i don't think a pharmacy would be of any help in that area'
they would not want the responsabilty, or to be liable.
keep up the good work and good luck
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I don't eat pharmies to the brink overdose. But im still an addict.
andy thebenzoguy :)
One occured, when I was taking 1mg/day,in divided doses. This is not like getting off the opiates. I know you dad wants to help. You should talk to your Dr. I never had a history of seizures,& I've been seizure free 7 yrs. I was doc hopping, came clean, now I'm on 1.5 mg/day.
Sek medical help. I'd have no warning of impending seizure. I once had one at a PTO meeting, I woke up in the ER, my license was taken for one year, because ER docs had to report anyone with diagnosis of seizure disorder to DMV, at least in my state. What a hassle. The thing is, I could've killed someone, if I had a seizure while driving.. Be careful, Andy!!!
Groovy, the only thing that helped me was a nice cup of tea........ but I don't think there is much else to help you out. you know............ How are you doing?
GWH
have you tried thomas' recipe? the regiment of l-tyrosine, b6,
zink, manganese, and magnesium has worked wonders for me. the
only other suggestion is lots of hot baths, imodium (immodium), and some-
thing to help you sleep at night. other than that, time is the
only thing.
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
I was surfing yesterday looking for information on Welbutrin and alcohol use and found this board.
Started reading the posts this morning and thought to myself 'this really seems like a good place for me to post.' It's very difficult for me to talk about my feelings and my addiction.
Here's my story:
I've abused alcohol since getting married 8 years ago. I'll go 3-4 days with nothing and then feel down in the dumps and lazy so I'll have a beer. And another, and another and another. After the sugar rush kicks in I clean like crazy, laugh, and feel "normal."
The next day will be filled with terrible anxiety and I'll either smoke pot or take Ativan to help feel better.
This cycle has been going on forever it seems.
In the last year I almost completely stopped doing this, only having a beer here and there and not smoking pot and not taking ativan. Why? Cause I felt truly happy....as I was pregnant. :)
2 months ago I gave birth to the most beautiful child. Since then I have gone through quite a lot of feeling depressed, was diagnosed with PPD, put on Welbutrin to help cut down on my smoking and to lift my mood, have gotten drunk more than several times and am very upset with myself for both drinking and smoking cigs.
I DO NOT want my daughter growing up with a mother who is either depressed because of drinking the day before, happy cause she is drinking now, zoning cause she is stoned, or stinking because she is smoking cigs.
I'm not sure what else to say at the moment 'cept that I am praying that maybe THIS time I can make the break from all these things and be a more happy-with-myself kind of person.
My main problem ... drinking beer. The other stuff, smoking, pot and ativan I can tolerate as pot I hardly ever smoke (once a month? and have no fear of totally quitting), cigs I am trying to quit (have smoked for 22 years), and ativan I use sparingly for help with sleep and anxiety (no more than 2mg a day, usually 1mg. )
Anyway...it's nice to type this out. Eh, not nice, but I have hope this may help, being here.
GWH, you're doing great! 10 days, wow, I'm proud of you. Stay away from the little beasts or you'll have to pay those 10 days all over again. Are you taking the methadone? Hang in, you're doing wonderful.
tracy
I wish I could offer more advice but I just don't have the experience. I do know about addiction though as I've lived it for the past several years, after playing around with it for most of my life. It's hell, but it does get easier the further you get from the drugs. I still have cravings, but I try to take them in stride, look at them like a side effect being clean - instead of getting all worked up about them like I did at first. They're going to come, I'll have to deal with them, so just get past it, right? Sometimes it's hard, sometimes easy. Hang in there buddy, and stick around here. We're all pulling for you.
tracy
Well, I recently kicked benzos cold. I was taking klonopin to aid in an Oxycontin Detox. I took them for 4-6 months ( they wiped my memory, I can't remember how long exactly, and I was taking 10-14 mgs a day - which is more than 20X therapeutic doses).
I detoxed from OC's and Klonopin simultaneously, but I can say without equivocation that the Klonopin detox was much worse than the OC detox. It was horrible beyond belief. However, I did not die, nor did I get the worst symptoms (nausea, cramps, headaches, or seizures). I think that people who already have a major problem that is being treated (like epilipsy), are the ones who go through seizures. I was awake for 23 days straight, which caused the walls to breathe, but I lived. Has anyone actually heard of someone dying from benzo withdrawal? I hear it's possible, but have never heard of an instance of it happening.
Benzoaddict, the safest way to get off is to taper, but that wasn't possible for me, ever. It's been 2 months without benzos, and 2-1/2 without opiates, and I'm feeling human again. A benzo taper from the habit I had would have taken a year or more. They usually take you down 1/2 mg every 2 weeks or every month. I thank god that I am just done with the dogshit and don't need to worry about it anymore.
For tapering, Klonopin is far better than Xanax, as it's half-life is 7 times longer. A dose will last you 24 hrs or more.
What, exactly, are you taking right now, and in what amounts? You mention Xanax, and Aparzolam.
**** NA. If it's like it is here, it probably won't keep you sober. Get to AA meetings. If you don't have any alcoholic past, introduce yourself as an addict only. If anyone gives you any **** for it (and this is VERY unlikely), let them know that alcohol is a ******* drug like any other, and that they don't have anything you want anyway. Find the people you can relate to and believe in. It makes all the difference.
GWH
event you will be ok.
like skipper said the l-tyrosine 500mg 8 times a day real does help, i took them all in the morning, at first i thought these people must be crazy to take 8 vitimines of any kind at once.
but i looked it up and that is the fda daily allotment.
another thing is to keep moving don'y lay around.
go bookstore, movies, out to eat,take a walk.
it was good to read gwh post today.
I hope to read one by you soon.
peace!!!!!!!!!!! and no matter what never give up.
i really beleive there is some kind of divine intervention need ed to get clean.
i hope you feel better
You're doing great so please hang in there! And congratulations on how far you've come.
tracy
ws burroughs put it best..."a man could simply die, because he
couldn't stand the way he felt in his own body...." i had RLS be-
fore drugs...and it still made me crazy. you're probably looking
for a quick chemical way to deal with it .... good news and bad news....the only drugs that ever worked were klonopin (a long acting benzo) and this kind of wierd and icky neural muscle relaxer called baclofen. they both can be problomatic, so think about it first! nothing (especially in the world of drugs is free...so really do your research before you see the doc. your doc is gonna be scared as hell about baclofen, or he won't give any more than a passing thought. i don't believe there are controls on it.
hey whatever you do...try to take that leg for a litlle extra walk or swim...exercise is the best long term strategy for RLS. i know how hard it is to pick up your tired old drug withdrawn self and do anything...isn't it odd that what you least want to do is what you need to do the most...god make me want the things i need!...
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
My questions to you are, what type of insuance did you have? What were the consequences? Did your insurance carrier cancel you? (I'm most scared of that) Was your insurance with a large or small carrier? Without giving too much away, I'm with one of the biggest providers in CA. I'm hoping they have too much other stuff on their plate than to notice frequent urgent care visits. After recently discovering that I have a slipped disk with nerve damage invololved, I almost feel entitled to as many vicodin as I want. Please respond, even though nothing has happened in the past few months with my doc shopping, I always, always worry. One more question, would you have ever known about the list if your doctor friend had not told you?
Amber
I was here about 2 weeks ago. I was in the middle of WD's and then blew it. Well, me and hubby are on Day 3 clean. We are struggling with the emotional aspect of all this. How do we get our SH__ together without falling apart? I can barley make it to the kitchen without having to go and sit down again. I want to be strong.
I was wondering if anyone has an opinion on taking Ultracet during this time. He does have pain and I was wondering if that would be a bad thing? Any input?
If you need to know about what my situation is you can find my name in a posting below...but here is a brief update....
15 Norco 10/325 a day and throw in some Soma on top. What a mess. This has been going on for over a year now. So we have stopped. Been down this road before...but we want this.....we knew we had to do it together.
Any input ...it would be great. Thank you so much
We can do it...
Me and my husband have sat here and read for hours the different stories and feel like we are not alone. It's so weird, we feel like we are the only ones living in this hell and when you all share your struggles it makes us "new comers" feel quite not so alone.
We want to do this and tomorrow will be day 4 for us. We are trying to stay strong and get our heads clear to deal with life. I feel isolated and I want to talk and share and my husband is keeping his feeling inside a lot of the time. Then he will come and talk to me, but I walk around here feeling like the weight of the world is on me, even though we are just beginning this journey it seems like I will never be able to be clear headed again. I keep reading the posts were people get this **** out of their system and things are better. They start to live without this burden and clockwatching. I want to get up in the morning and not reach for my bottle of pills. I want to be able to make plans and not worry that I will be low and not be able to handle being around people. The addiction has stopped me from doing so much. I want my life back. I want to just be able to GO. Well, I am proud that I am almost at day 4 and guess what that is close to day 5. One day at a time. One hour, one minute.
Thank you again for everyone who shares, just know it means a lot to us that are trying to get it right.
take care..Missy
And some good counciling. Not only at the mental clinic,but mostly with you loving bunch of eye, ears, and hearts.
Andy theonlyrecoveringbenzoaddict
Love,
Andy the recovering benzo addict
You are definitely not the only benzo addict, here or anywhere else. There are FAR more benzo addicts than opiate addicts. They are a silent majority that is prescribed benzos for all kinds of ailments, many of them psycological. If you really want resources for benzo addicts, they are a mouse click away at any search engine. http://www.benzo.org.uk/ is an excellent site.
Benzos are, in my opinion, hideously over prescribed. For most people, they stop affecting the symptoms as tolerance increases (a perfect example is anxiety). The patient needs to take more to have the same relief. As they take more, they become zombies. When they want to stop, they find that even a light reduction in dose will cause far greater anxiety than they ever experienced when they were benzo free. These drugs suppress your central nervous system like a ******* 10,000lb anchor. When your cns starts to re-awaken, you get anxiety like you never imagined, along with plenty of other symptoms.
Taking benzos for insomnia? Better not take them for very long, or you will really understand insomnia when you try to lower your dose.
Again, this is just my opinion, and I don't have experience with anxiety disorder or social phobia or the myriad other disorders for which these drugs are prescribed, but my feeling is that these disorders are treated far more effectively by uncovering the root cause of the problem, not suppressing the symptom. Pharmaceutical companies and lazy physicians would rather just take the ez road and prescribe benzos.
Missy, you will do some deep mind and soul searching in the coming weeks. I would first recommend not thinking too much, getting well physically. Will write more later.
I am doing so much better. I am on day 4 and I am up and around. I am feeling like I have a cold coming on but I think it's just my body trying to regroup. I will hang in there and my husband is right next to me, and doing just as well. THis is really going to be ok...Thanks for your words:)
Missy
I've been reading through these comments--and thought I'd throw a couple of questions out there. I'm no stranger to addiction. I was addicted to heroin and cocaine for about 5 years--this was over 10 years ago. A real success story--graduated with highest honors, on to grad school--all the way. I have a great job, love what I do. Over a year ago, I was picking up an elliptical cross trainer with a friend because I moving) and I heard a horrible "pop" and felt the most intense pain I've ever felt. Had an MRI--diagnosed with a herniated disc that was hitting on the sciatic nerve. The doctor prescribed painkillers--vicodin--and I accepted. I didn't tell him about my previous addiction to heroin because I was at the student health service and didn't want that info on my permanenet record.
Cut to the present. I am trying to quit the vicodin--my back is better. I was on the Vicodin ES (7.5 mg), using about 7 - 8 of these a day. About 6 months ago, I cut down to the regular vicodin (5 mg), using about 7 - 8 a day. I am trying to wean myself off--I'm down to about 4 a day. Basically, I feel like ****--but don't want to feel like MORE ****, so don't think I want to cold turkey. But--I am wondering if the gradual decrease has worked for anyone out there or am I just kidding myself? Is cold turkey the only way to go? Any experiences/info is really appreciated.
Thanks,
Melinda
tracy
maybe it's me, but you seem to be questioning my story...i'm not sure why, but i offered the information here because i thought it might save someone the trouble of getting busted.
my insurance was not cancelled, but i'm sure it was only a matter of time.
several months ago my personal doc showed me a list of Rx my in-
urance co. sent him. it listed Rx from my personal doc, a neuro-
surgeon, and a pain clinic. my personel doctor told me he had on-
ly heard of this happening before. i don't believe in my state
they persue doc-shoppers. anyhow my personel doc's only concern
was what to tell the DEA, when they showed up. i told him i would
love for them to come talk to me...hell i'ld even show them the
scars from the last 2 spinal surgerys!
in spite of what most people want to believe, pain specialist MDs
don't just treat anyone who floats in off the street. the one i'm
currently seeing, went over all the medical records, x-rays, and
diagnostic reports...then he put me on enough oxy to control the
pain! enough that i quit thinking about blowing my brains out with a shotgun...
hell, it's easier to do a B&E on your favorite drug store than it
is to go the pain clinic route...i will give my pain doc the pat
on the back he deserves for standing up to the constant assult of
bull-**** the DEA throws at him!
the "war on drugs" is just another way to say the most frighten-
ing infringement on civil rights to date..
keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
amber
GWH, just had to write to say how proud i am and to keep up the good work; you're an inspiration for me!!!!!
Don't give in, you've come too far!!!!
Everyone else, stay strong and keep striving to regain your life back! I need to find my way, and your stories really help!
Lv Jenny
right in Ma they made me sign a contract stating that I could
only get opiate pain killers from them and I could only use one
pharmacy to fill my scripts. Well I went to a pharmacy close to
home with the same chain and they nailed me right then. They
asked what was I doing here when I had signed a contract with the
pharmacy across town. So I had to drive across town and use that
pharmacy even though it was the same chain I was at the first time.
Tom
Im doind the recipe but was wondering how much of the calcium-magnisium,zinc,magnesse,copper,and phophorus do i take? Thanks and take care.
ash
GWH
You made my day and i'm going to make it to another sunrise!!!
:)
I guess it's my strong mothering nature coming through, it's great to see you so happy and ready to face each day with confidence.
Your car sounds great, and your plan to get engaged is wonderful!!!!
Stay focused on your dreams and you won't fail!!!!
Lv Jenny