Help With my Marriage

[helpmymarriage]

As I posted yesterday about my tramadol usage for the pain in my back and my marriage that I screwed up. I ran out of pills early due to the pain and my being dependent on the meds to kill the pain, and addiction problems. I took some from a family member and lied about it but finally came clean. My wife was super pissed but what do I expect. She threatened divorce. I know what I did was wrong, I know I need help which I am going to a focus unit next week, it was the soonest I could get in. I'm having problems with the pain, especially with sleeping at night which *****. I don't get much sleep because no matter how I lay my back kills. I need to get my wife to see that I love her more than anything. And I want to save our marriage and be with her for the rest of our lives. What can I do to make her see this. I know it's going to take work and a long time. I can't lose her she's my everything and she doesn't think I love her because I wouldn't of done this if I did. I never told her I was taking these pills either. I feel horrible. What can I do? I'm not going to lie anymore and will do anything. Also, what can I do for the pain? OTC stuff doesn't work, I use ice, heat. I need to go to pt I know and I will as soon as I go to the dr. My wife is going with me to the dr. I need all the prayers and help I can get for her and I both and the pain.

[wransomejr]

I'm glad you seem to get some relief from the tramadol. I've been in trouble with that drug for a long time.

First it is very addictive, second, as you have found, it will take more and more to get the theraputic help you need. MANY tramadol users end up taking 20 pills a day just to function (feel normal, etc).

My father is 80 and was on one tramadol 50mg in the morning and one at night, and he felt like they were not working, put them down, and did not sleep for two weeks. Now he takes them so he can sleep. But he's 80 and what's 2 pills a day? He doesn't abuse. I do. Just be very careful with the tramadol/ultram while using it. This isn't anything to play with. Getting off is difficult.

[helpmymarriage]

I've had the shots too, the first helped very little. The others made the pain worse. I've been to a rehab program for it a whole back but didn't keep up on the exercises like I should of, dumb I know. I am hoping to go back to pt to be able to help with some. I did take one tramadol tonight to sleep, my wife is keeping them nowthat's good. I feel bad and like I shouldn't take it but I need some sleep. I should try other things like chiro or acupuncture or something I know, and plan on. I don't want to be dependent on these pills and don't want to become more addicted or whatever it is . I don't get a high feeling from them. So I don't understand,

[VICourageous]

Oh so sorry to hear about your back. My Hub has to get shots in his.
Just take care of your self and give the wife a big Hug and a Smile. I sure pray that all works out for the best. It will just have patience.
Bless

[helpmymarriage]

Thank you all for the great advice. I do have a bulged disk in my back along with a vertebrate that is broke in 3 places, I also have traumatic arthritis. I really appreciate everyone's comments and support, we know we can all use as much as we can get. The letter writing is a great idea. I do know that it takes a while to gain trust back especially after something like this. Like I said I am willing to do anything. She is for sure going to my appointments with me for now on. She is also going to the focus unit meetings with me too. I love my wife and I wish she could see that I do. She really is my everything. For her to think I don't love her kills me. I have taken Celebrex before but I ended up getting very sick from it after taking it a while.

[Brightfutureahead]

Be good to yourself- your wife will see that you love yourself and that you really lover her too.

[VICourageous]

Hi you got some great advise from my MH Friends above. Addiction & Dependent can be a fine line. It is the way we use the Meds and then run short. Then it is the way we go about getting more. This gets worse and worse as times goes by. I just wanted to say Addiction is a "Brain Disease". We do a lot up stairs to unbalance it. I only say this because there is a lot of info on this these days. If your wife can understand this as if it was Cancer or Diabetics then she could give you the Support that is needed in all areas of recovery. Go to a few meetings and take her with. I have been married almost 28yrs and my Hub watched some videos on this. He has been my biggest support during and after the detox and still today so I will not go back to drugs.
Bless

[ariley13]

It may take some time. Be nothing but honest and upfront with your wife and family. When we break the trust of someone,, that trust takes time to build back up. Just be patient with her and try to understand where she's coming from. If need be you both may benefit from some couples counseling. Good luck to you with your marriage and recovery!

[limodan73]

You already got perfect advice above. Just wanted to send support and encouragement. Remember that at the end of the day, you have to face that guy in the mirror. I know your wife is all you can think about, but if you're open, honest, and take her to the doc like you said. She'll more likely come around. Good luck my friend.
D

[jjswartz_1]

I think that you have express yourself well in this text.  Why don't you sit down and write down a letter to her telling her everything.  About the pain, the addiction, how you love her, your fear, what you are willing to do to solve a problem ect ect.  Sometimes a letter is easier and can then open up a more contructive communication between the both of you.

First figure out why the heck your back is in so much pain.  It could be a herniated disc in your back or something.  So go see that doctor.

Next..... you can go to the pharmacy and ask for Tylenol One it has 8mg of codiene(Narcotic) with 325mg of Tylenol.  It can help if you run out of trmadol for now.  However do not abuse the recommended dosage because the tylenol can really damage your liver with one overdosage.

By the way....one of the first withdrawal symptoms of narcotic abusers is actually pain.  So the more you take chronically pain meds/narcotics the more you can have rebound pain in the long run.

Also you will need a muscle relaxant like robaxacet.  When you finally see you doctor he may prescribe a stronger muscle relaxant which actaully makes you sleepy so you may be able to sleep btter.  Lyrica may be an option as well as cymbalta.  Cymbalta is an anti- depressant but it can help it certain cases for chrnic pain.

good luck and remember to be honest whith your wife and that there is always a light even in our darkest life moments.  Try and find that light.