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[slomedz805]

its day 5 no opiates off sub. I feel jumping off at crumb doses really helped my w/d this time ( lol imagine that) i got that nervousy feeling though you know, that urgent feeling of somethings wrong. Its trying to make me feel like everything is over no more fun ext... I do know from being sober before that this is not true and will pass. im taking nierontin which is Gaba Pentin ans other supplements vit c, amino acids ext..The gaba pentin does seem to help but im not a doctor and i do not advise anyone to take anything without consulting a doctor first... anyway im just battling fighting you all know how it is sure i could use some "encouraging words" and stuff that always helps. I dont have alot pf tools in my arsenal but very thankfull for this website. keep fighting the good fight people and may god bless us all.. in a true fight to regain spirt and soul.

[clean_in_ks]

The addict brain will tell you LOTS of lies while detoxing.....they are FULL OF DECEPTION and lies straight from the pit of hell.  

At some point, we have to disregard the dishes, the clean house...and learn to cleanse our souls.......yes, I was a worthless ball of emotions too.....but it will pass if you stay the course.

And here's a letter I stumbled onto while detoxing that helped me....maybe it will you, too~

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/564106/POWERFULLetter-to-me-from-my-AddictionNever-Forget

[slomedz805]

ohhh man That worth thing gets me everytime..clean_in_kansas you are an angel for saying those kind words to me beleive me your words do not fall on deaf ears and i really do appreciate it. and lulu thanks for sharing your past struggles and congrats on quitting smoking!! thankyou thank you :) anyone out there ever feel like a worthless ball of emotion when detoxing? Im the one that keeps the house clean and its really messy right now. That is a bad trigger for me, i mean 5 days ago i wasnt getting high by any means but i was normal enough to do the dishes clean the house all those things.. now im a worthless ball of emotion lol. Just to show how a addict thinks i do have this though of maybe i could go get some pills clean the house but still be 5 days into my detox after one quick dose hahaha but it doesnt work like that u start the process over i know it.. its a battle im gunna keep fighting... thank you all for your kind words... much love

[clean_in_ks]

Cry all you need to....you are not in post acute w/drawals....you are IN the heart of initial detox!!!  

In addition to feeling all these new feelings...make sure you plug into something that makes you laugh......there are TONS of therapeutic benefits to laughing and it produces endorphins...and we REALLY need those.

You are SO WORTHY and will only conquer that false thinking by moving forward and doing what is uncomfortable but necessary.  The rewards will bless your socks off.....but you won't actually experience it until you step out of your comfort zone and do it.
Keep posting.....and keep your mind distracted.  Sunshine and walks are SUPER important as is LOTS of water and fluids.

[slomedz805]

thank you so much for the kind words and taking the time to message me. Im very familiar with N/A. I do think the program works ( if you work it obviously) In all honesty i think im afraid of na i almost feel like they have sonething i cant have or im not good enough for the program. Im also afraid of the commitment This will prolly sound stupid but one thing im afraid of is getting a sponser and them telling me I couldnt be with my Gf or something so stupid i know.. I do want what they have just scared im not worthy. So i gotta handle this issue, i still have chills, bad thoughts. stomach is toes in knots but im fighting, i feel like im in PAWS sorta i can get up and move around so im getting past the physical and like most people the physical is easier the battle begins when the mind ***** start coming, ive had thoughts today of relapse today the mental is hard.crying alot. Anyway thank you for responding it means alot to me.

[lulu747]

Hey YAY congrats!
I can't relate to the feeling of 'no more fun' when I stopped taking opiates, because basically I felt like I was dying on them and there was no fun left to be had.
I do however relate to this in my cigarette addiction.  It took me like, 8 times trying to quit.  Because every single time I was going to quit I didn't think life would be as fun any more, I wouldn't have that 'me' time, or that dangerous thing I did that no one knew about (serious closet smoker addict).
What was different for me the last time was that I was just DISGUSTED with every aspect of smoking and saw what it was actually robbing me of.  The FREEDOM that came when I put out my last cigarette was euphoric.
You do have about a 3 week ordeal in front of you, and a life long journey in recovery after that.  Really do some research and find the aftercare that is going to work for you and get you living the best life you can possibly live.
You deserve it.
Proud of you
Lu

[clean_in_ks]

Congrats on the 5 days off subs and all opioids!!!

You said you don't have a lot of tools in your arsenal, so in addition to posting and sharing here, I sure hope you will get some kind of aftercare going......recovery is wonderful place to be....and we need help to STAY there.

Let us know how you're doing....and remember it takes a good 21 days for all the sub to leave your system~