Dealing with the Struggle

[justneedtotalk]

Hello all......I have not posted in a while but I have been around and read/commented on some posts.  I wanted to maybe shed some light on how I dealt with the struggle and maybe it might help a few of you.  I know that the first couple of weeks are the worst and each day draggs on just to be met by yet another sleepless night.  Even though it gets better just by a smidge each day, you still long for the relief of "Normal".  I put it into simple terms to myself, you have no choice, its either go forward or use and using was not an option.  I am several months sober now and life is sooooo much better on the other side of addiction.  I often go back through my many posts early on, relapse after relapse and wondered why I made myself suffer through so many times.  The simple nuts and bolts of it is you either suffer through once but for a couple of weeks or do you go through the first week 30 times over and over?  I finally woke up and allowed myself to make it two weeks, then a month, then two months.  I am not going to lie, the first month was tough and it felt like 3 months but with each day it got better and once you reach your "Normal" place, it is all worth it!  I just kept on saying to myself that each day was one day closer to feeling better and if I use, I am back to zero.  It took me this last time to finally give myself enough time to see what life was truly like on the flip side of pill use.  I cannot even put into words how much better I feel, I guess I finally came down to the determination that unless I wanted to lose everything I had to keep going forward sober......Then, bang.....I was bascially 100% and clear minded and the pills no longer ruled my life.  I guess you could say that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Well.....I just wanted to say hi and for those in the first couple of weeks of sobriety.....HANG ON.....It is not fun but is a necessary evil and we are all waiting for you on the other side!  You ARE WORTH IT.......Peace!

[selfinduced]

plain and simple ...you are
the reason I am medication free. Where you ever got the patience to hear and respond to my whoa's is mind-blowing. But you did and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. There are no words to express that gift to another, but know I so appreciate. You are an angel and NEVER gave up. Sweet care, tough love...you pulled em all out, and I needed each word. Seems you have some strong fans and that shows the person you are. Thank you for saving my life. xoxo Hey, still wanna see that son of yours! CONGRATS!!!. Enjoy every minute with him!

[ImDONENoMore]

OMG justneed - I am SO happy for you - this post brought tears to my eyes (corny I know) - but it did.  The fact that you truly experienced this birth is HUGE - how lucky your new son is (and your daughter too of course) that you are BACK - completely present in their lives and will be for years to come.  What a WONDERFUL way to begin the new year (okay sorry for all the capitalizing but you have made my day!)

G-d bless you and your family during this important time of the year - and more importantly on the birth of your new son.  Blessings to all of you (and I still think YOU are the inspiration).  :)

[justneedtotalk]

Thank you very much......But you are wrong......YOU are the insperation on this site.  I mostly private message a few people each month and try to help them along but YOU are always on here day in and day out truly helping people whom which have no one to turn to.....Almost every day I see you are friends with yet another member.  You have been a rock in my recovery and I cannot thank you enough.....

Yes......We just had our son December 6th at 8:51 PM.  My goal was to look at him with sober eyes and not have to worry if I was going to be out of pills and detoxing when my wife went into labor.  I would honestly say that the best part of long term sobriety is accomplishing something you would of normally had to have 200 mg's running through your system and yet be sober......It almost brings tears to my eyes to know that I was truly experiencing my sons birth.....My daughter whom which is almost 3 I did not.....Matter of fact I do not remember the specifics of her birth because I was so loaded.  

Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for everyone's kind words and for all of you fighting the fight keep the baby steps forward.....For at whits end there is always light......God bless!

[Innerstrength67]

Congratulations on your clean time...AWESOME!
we are so proud of you. Keep posting the light, love, hope and encouragement!

[ImDONENoMore]

Yes you all need to LISTEN to justneedtotalk.  We've been through a lot together and I could not be MORE proud of him (I am and you know it :) - he is amazing.  And he's right.  TIME.  Time is the key here and so few of us give this the time it needs.

Life IS better - no comparison - justneed you are an inspiration to me and always will be.  Now tell us HOW is your life going?  New baby yet and all?  And with the holidays coming up tell us what's your plan for the New Year now that you've been sober for so long?  Remember, once we're clean the world is our oyster.  Choices.  Hope.  Things we lost when addicted and return when we are clean.  I am SO happy for you and I love to see when you post.

Happy holidays my friend.  New Year and new goals.  It's all good.  :)

[littlebit010101]

Wow awesome post....thanks so much for sharing....what an inspiration...congrats and again thank u from the depths of my soul...

[Wanttobebetter2011]

Thank u so much for sharing, makes me all the more hopeful!

[lulu747]

First of all congratulations on your sobriety!!  Second of all-thank you for posting this.  I know there are a lot of people suffering through the detox process (myself included on day 13) and it's always good to hear a success story.  Because I, like you am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  And despite the physical misery-I still feel better mentally and emotionally than I ever did on opiates.  With the exception of the sleep deprivation making me a little loonie tunes(:  Much gratitude for your post and I wish you many more happy and healthy and sober days to come....Lu

[laurel453]

well said and great post... the first six months were like climbing a mountain but all the time i knew that "that too would pass" and that i deserved a better life.... " using is not an option" was one of my mantras too... keep it simple... the first month is really tough, the cravings are hard to overcome but each time you do it, you become stronger,,, do whatever you need to keep you on the clean path !!

[Bkitty]

Thank you so much for sharing this and inspiring me to hang in there. Im 41 days today and each day gets better and better that is soo very true. I also was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Every day that passed there is something little that I notice,,such as food tasting different,,appreciating the things that I have in my life,,the gift of time. This was definatly the best xmas present I have ever ever gave to myself. Congrats to you as well on your clean time! I wish you the best!~Bkitty