Anniversary 'memories'

[desperatetostop]

on December 28th (gods willing) I will have 10 years free from crack cocaine...

every year around this time of year, all the memories come flooding back...not in a pile or overwhelming...but glimpses of memories of using...of making connections, picking up, waiting outside, etc.

I'll be driving down the same road I've drived down all year and suddenly BAM...i'll have a 'flashback' of a time where I hooked up on this or that corner...the whole 'video tape' gets played...until i pull myself back from it. It doesn't make me crave for crack or anything like that...in fact it kind of turns my stomach...but its just something I've noticed over the past decade that every year around the holidays i get 'crack flashbacks'...

I wonder if in the future I will get vicodin/oxycontin flashbacks too....

~Amber

[melimel09]

Its been by experience that those memories never go away but like norcoqueen said also they really help you know that you never want to go back to that. Dont get down on yourself when you do remember those things(not saying you are, but just in case) its so important to give yourself forgiveness and realize addict is just a label that you can take off at anytime.

Thats soooooo great you've got 10yrs sober, good for you! I really applaud you and cannot wait til the day i can say the same. Stay strong, your an incredible person for that.

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Oh the memories... "Driving  down the same road and suddenly BAM....!!!!: Oh boy do I know THAT FEELING....You are very versed in your recall... A good thing...Your words just make me realize that I NEVER want to use AGAIN... thank you for that...and.. thank you for sharing...your post meant alot to me...

Love and Hugs!
NorcoQueen