day 3 update

[jlannspr]

Here I am day 3 of hydro w/d, home from work. This second time detoxing has been rough physically, havent had any cravings at all. Those usually come when i'm feeling good and want those uppers. This time i can't give into that feeling. Absolutely no such thing as "just one". This time I feel like there is more hope, and i'm not "down" about quitting. I use to think how am I ever gonna have fun sober. This post is all over the place, but i feel confident i'm not going back to that place.  

[karaine]

i relapsed many times before i won the fight, dont get me wrong, the battle goes on every day hun and it is always there in the back of my mind and when i have a bad day it is truly the hardest thing to resist, but i give thought to my family and my 2 beautiful sons and how it would affect them and must of all i give thought to myself and all the years that i lost, the ones that blurred into one another that i will never get back, and it spurs me on to do something anything good with my life even if its just taking a walk to feed the horses down the lane from were i live, i try to find beauty in every thing now because its better than waking up to find I'm kissing the carpet yet again and the day is gone, life is for the living!!, and i know that's what you want or you wouldn't keep trying, so keep trying coz you will get there, (*_*)

[overthepill]

Thank you.  I'm immersing myself in work to try and keep my focus away from it.  For me its far better to be at work than at home where I tend of focus on it much more.  I know I can do this, but the pressure is in trying to keep my girlfriend from knowing that I relapsed.   Its silly when I type this as I should probably just tell her the truth.  My sleep pattern is just all kinds of messed up and I feel like she might be suspicious anyway.  But i'm riding this out... no more pills... no more pills... no more pills..  thanks for the advice.

[Sharon0255]

I'm on day 2 from binging twice after c/t and using after 45 days.
Anyway today is the day and I'm feeling ok and i don't want to use today. I have the thoughts but I'm trying to stay busy and I'm going to a meeting at lunch AA.
All we have is today please try and resist the demons this is a tough mental fight and i'm determined I want to win it.

[karaine]

it is tough, but if you can just say to yourself tonight, that's one more day I've done without it I've been there i know how you feel, and my life is so much better now, i go horse riding walking, days out just on my own to places I've always wanted to go but could never afford coz always needed my money for the drugs, you can do it honey, you can!

[jlannspr]

The pills will add guilt and shame. A few more days of ickyness is worth the rest of ur life. Walk outside and take a breath of fresh air. Post and read when u would usually call her, put that $$ in an envelope and spend it on something for you. Hang in there.

[overthepill]

I, too am on day 3 - about 63 hours to be exact - and this is not my first rodeo either.  I had 5 months of clean time before starting to use again around the holidays.  I have managed to rationalize a reason to get pills twice a week ever since.  Now, I am doing my absolute best to find reasons NOT to get pills.  I know she (my dealer) will have more tonight so i'm trying to find the strength within me to ride this out.  I don't want to go back to where I was last July after 19 months of using.  I also don't want to throw away the last 63 hours but i'm a struggling addict right now.  I'd be a fool to throw this away but I hate this icky feeling.  All the best to you in your recovery...

[Kresaera]

Congratulations on becoming sober! Take lots of showers, they are amazing during withdraw. I don't know why, they just are lol. I also found talking about it with someone who knew what I felt like helped too.

All of us here can understand how you feel one way or the other, so keep posting! Good luck!