How can I help my boyfriend with his hydro addiction?

[Sweetbutnotsour]

I've been with my boyfriend for more than 6 years now. I've noticed that recently he's been buying hydros from his daughter (yeah, his OWN daughter) or giving her money to get the pills from someone else that she knows. I've brought it up several times and we've argued countless times over it. I have a feeling that this has gone on longer than the last two years but I just didn't see it. But now my eyes are wide open. He keeps telling me that he's not hurting anyone and I tell him that it's hurting me. He's lied to me and he's become very sneaky. I can't take it anymore. I know I should leave but I can't bring myself to.

I'm not really sure exactly how many he's taking but when he takes them then it affects for sexual life. He can't keep hard and when this happens I know he's been taking them. We'd never had this for the first 3 years we were together. I don't know what to do. I have found a few pills and I took it upon myself to flush them but I know he's still getting them just not bringing them into the house. HELP!

[pattifan]

I saw a very touching quote on the list this morning:

'Love me when I deserve it the least, because that's when I need it the most'

Food for thought...

Take care

[Tab57]

You need to do the right thing by you and leave unless he truly ants help and commits to professional treatment as well as NA. If he refuses I would recommnend that you leave. I hate to mention that but you have no choice.

There is a fine line between enabling and helping. Enabling is the worst thing that a loved one can do for an addict. Its time for some tough love and for attention to your own needs.

[Sweetbutnotsour]

Thanks guys. I know I can't help him unless he wants help or at least admits that he has a problem. Going to a meeting myself might make me feel a little better. Thanks for the advice.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  Until he is ready to stop, there is really not anything you can do.  Once he is ready, you can support him, and we can tell you some things to get to help him.  Until then, get to an Al Anon meeting to get some support for yourself!

Good luck!  I'm sorry you are going through this!  I know it is hard.

[pattifan]

Hi, and welcome to the list.

Sorry to hear about your troubles.

Before you can do anything for him, he needs to admit that he's got a problem, and he needs to want to quit.

There is no amount of pressure you can apply to make him do this. He needs to want it.

You can make it clear that you're worried about him, and that you're there to help and support him.  You can encourage him to talk, and make it clear that you're always there to listen.

You could also either encourage him to join this list, or 'accidentally' leave it on so he can see it. There are some really inspiring stories from other ex-users that might start to make him think.

Wishing you all the very best