I agree you should check out the pain management forum. I've been (and am presently) dependent. I've come off huge amounts of pain meds, gone through the physical withdrawal, stayed off pain meds for a while, dealt with terrible pain. I have four kids and an 86-year old dad that I take care of. I wasn't able to do even the minimum of things I needed to do each day. Grocery shopping left me in tears. Laundry, the same. But I was determined to manage the pain without pain meds. I was irritable and eventually depressed. The thought of living every day of the rest of my life in the kind of pain I was in WAS depressing.
I never abused my meds and i was always aware of the possibility of addiction. I also used other methods of managing my pain both on and off pain meds. I think I was also uncomfortable with judgments of ignorant people, whether it be an occasional attitude of a staff person at the pharmacy or an uneducated family member.
I also did lots of research about the likelihood of going from dependence to addiction. I talked with my doctors and also a friend who's a physician assistant along the way. But I still wanted to keep trying to stay off meds. It finally got to the point that my pain was causing my blood pressure to skyrocket to dangerous levels. We tried a blood pressure pill with no change. We added a second blood pressure pill and it still wouldn't come down. Both my doctors felt I should go back on pain meds.
I was still reluctant, though. I had gone through agony coming off very high doses of a lot of medications and I sort of felt like I was a failure if I went back on them. But when my primary care, who is very cautious, asked me to think about it and was it worth having a stroke in order to stay off pain meds.
So I went back on them at a much lower dose. I'm not pain free but it takes the edge off. I still have trouble with stairs and certain tasks. But my blood pressure has returned to normal, though I still have to take 2 blood pressure meds every day. And I'm not depressed any more.
If you have only been dependant on cigarettes then i would advise you to check out the pain management forum. They will have good suggestions for dealing with your pain.
After care for dependent?
I couldn't really make out some of the words you wrote but I think you are asking what the point is if you are in pain/depressed? Well, gonna ask something you've prob heard 1000x...have you started aftercare? I quit over a year ago but didn't do anything else and I was beyond depressed. I eventually went back to norcos. I have been in a program for months and it makes all the difference in the world. We can't do this alone. It won't work.