I know death is close...

[Kfred]

... I've really gone off the deep end.  Unbelievable the progression of this disease.  I've tried everything but at this point I need to get physically clean.  Been under a Dr. care and called a Methadone clinic and they want me to go all out and take it for months.  I can't do that.  I know the opinions here on "medical advice" but I need to ask.  I've been taking about 225mg of hydro a day.   I'm literally afraid to go sleep at night for fear I won't wake up.  A co-worker will give me 10mg tablets of methadone to detox.  How should I do this?  I thought 3 on the first day, 3 second, 2 third, 1 forth, 1 fifth... Given my hydro use, will this be effective?   I always CT but I've never used THIS much hydro..  I'm so mentally ashamed that I can't tell my Dr. I've failed YET AGAIN...   Hence I want to try the methadone route.

P.S.  I've taken Methadone before and hated it so I don't think there is a risk for abuse

[dominosarah]

Have you checked into some long term rehab??  You really need to get a handle on this or you will not wake up......Please let your doctor know what is going on......sara

[Ella789]

No, you're not gona die on that doseage!  Don't be afraid of sleep, you need it !!  If you need to go the methadone route then do it just long enough to get off the hydros and others will know what doseage to do that to wean-off, or at least give you their advice on it..  All I can say is that the hydros can cause depression,anxiety and a whole world of **** that you will be better off without.  Not to mention your pain levels will go down also (don't know if you had any issues with pain or not, but I do )

Keep posting and please don't stress, your going to be okay!  

E  

[10356]

Hey Kfred.. my name is lesa we have never spoken but you and I share the same fear.. when I was using at my max with pills.. I was literally popping percs like candy.. I can not even tell you how many I consumed in a week but when I was done I had lost the ability to recognize my surrounding to do math or even sign my name.. It was frickin scary.. then I changed to norcos.. when I first came here I was on them and soma.. I was up to 30 a day and about 12 somas or so.. I was afraid to go to sleep at night also. Obviously my Dr. new I was a addict but he did not know I was running to large scripts of the norco.. I had to get off the sh!t as I was gonna die.. I now have stage 2 liver disease and stage 3 kidney with only one.. I hope you do get clean or you will end up where I was and em.. I have never taken methadone so I can not help you there.. but I can say to worry as you are risking your life.. so what you failed again.. tell your Dr. while you can.. he also knows as mine did that you are a addict.. it sounds like he has stuck with you.. I had gone ct as this is the only way I know but I just wanted to share this as it is scary and it is dangerous and it is your life.. I wish you a long one..

[jt808]

u say 225 mgs im just curious as to how many pils a day that is? ???

[NautyOne]

Death is not as close as you think.  You are here, and you want to quit.  I see life around the corner for you.  You can do this.....it won't be easy, by far.......but, you can prevail.

Warm blessings,
Nauty...............

[troubleinohio]

maybe SUB is an option for you? i dont normally suggest it to alot of folks but in certain cases it seems to be the only way to get off the pills. How much aceto are you taking a day? You didnt say which kind of hydro preparation you are using, that can make a big difference but at any rate Im sure the amount of tyelnol you are putting in your body is very bad

[nursegirl6572]

I agree that Sub is something to look into as well.  A lot of people have had great success with Sub getting off Hydros/oxys.  Just know that there will come a day when you have to detox off the Sub.  

Don't give up---you have a lot of options, and I also agree that you're not going to die in your sleep.  Can't obviously make guaruntees, but you have built up a tolerance.  It would be different if someone who never took a hyrdo took that many...but not after you've been using for a while.

Hang in there, you're amongst friends here...keep posting.....keep trying.  I;m not a huge fan of people obtaining Methadone/Sub for self detox, so PLEASE be very careful.  You'd be better off doing it in a controlled environment under a doc's care!

[desperatechezzzoo]

The only person that can do this for you is you. Be strong you can do this. It is hard, really really hard but it is do-able. I went onto the methadone for 9 months, I started dropping after 4 months then dropped off 10mg of methadone( my advice go lower b4 jumping off) It was pretty painful so i went on day 11 off the Done i went on the suboxone for 5 days starting at 2mg for 2 days then 1.2mg day 3, 0.8mg on day 4 and 0.4 on the last day. It was a god send and stopped the withdrawal symptoms without stopping my withdrawal off the Done. 2 days after i stopped i thought the withdrawals were back but it only lasted 24 hours then i felt alot better. I still cant sleep very well but that is bound to last a few months.... cant have everything at least i can function now and am clean. I really recommend both the methadone and suboxone but only for the short term(months not years) it gives you the oportunity to get your life back in order and the ability to think straight and the strength to see you can get clean....then there is just one last withdrawal...then its over and you have your life back...you can do this, we all can... and the grass is greener on the clean side...I promise you that... stay strong and believe in yourself

[avisg]

One of the things people are not thinking about is with 225mg of hydro a day comes with a very HIGH AMOUT OF acetaminophen which CAN cause liver failure so understand the fear. Honestly with everything I know you have been threw I know you abused the sub.you have tried tapering  and CT  12 pills of methadone are not going to do it .you need a rehab program you have tried so much get you self your life back find a rehab center.

[bolpak]

Just keep looking at this site ans youll figure it out.....................

[kalie1979]

Don't give up! Ask God to take over your life, its Amazing how he can and will Help you.
GoodLuck. I will pray for you. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, to rise up and be the person you are suppose to be :-)

Kalie

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Dude -  I have a liver in end stage disease and was taking 25-40 10mg hydro's per day....and most other opiates that i could find in addittion to those. I am a Nam era vet and I am no stranger to death. I dont remember what disease you are fighting.....but when you feel that death is close - its time to fight hard. Not give up. Might be time for some breathing exercises also.....and stuff the ashamed thing somewhere and speak to your Doc -its not like you are the first person in the world to relapse more than once....heck - I could relapse monthly for years! And I did.....I have about 2 years good time now.....

[cathy5841]

Kfred, giving up is just not an option.  you know what you have to do...now focus on the prize and get to getting clean!