where did i go

[goneunder]

i am 4 wks clean of pain meds. IT WAS HELL and is hell i dont know how to spend my time, where to go, i dont enjoy doing the things i use to do, im bored and all i want are my f@#king meds where do i go from here?

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

Yes, WD was hell and you don't want to go back to that or the drugs. It is hard to find the new you after giving up the drugs. I was always the life of the party, party girl. During my first 6 months clean I just wanted to stay to myself. I have really lost a lot of my friends but that's ok. I have my huband and kids and that's all that matters. I'm starting to go out and have fun again I just don't turn to the pills for a good time. And when I'm in a bad mood, I just have to work through it. I will not turn to the pills to get me in a good mood. You will be different. You have to decide what you want out of life. It's your life and your responsibility. You will find new excitement and adventures and trust me they will be better.

[feohmoon]

Have any of you tried melatonin for sleep?  

It is inspiring to read about your progress.  It makes me want to just stop cold turkey right now!  But we won't...March 6 will arrive soon enough I'm sure!

[goneunder]

thank you Jacqui, its in the trash

[goneunder]

got to go to work yea,  thank you all for your comments, they have helped hopefully i will talk to you again soon   thank you

[Jacqui805]

That one can have some wicked side effects so I understand.  It shouldn't necessarily be the first one to try.  You absolutely cannot smoke while on this med. either, so if you did, no wonder.  Just alone it can induce mania and cause high BP.  It can cause sweating, nausea and vomiting, constipation, somnolence, dry mouth, dizziness, nervousness, anxiety, tremor, blurred vision, sexual dysfunction, and insomnia.  Normally I tell people not to worry about the whole list because all of the side effects aren't common, but with this med., alot of these are common.

Jacqui

[goneunder]

my priscription writer gave me Effexor XR this guy could care less, all he did was type out in his computer what i was feeling and BAM out came the answer Effexor XR i feel like a danm test rat..  dont laugh but ive only been on it for 2 days but my head hurts, my throat feels like its closing and i cant sleep I imagine my head will fall off next... just a side effect @#$$^@#

[avisg]

good for you a treadmill will help ,every time you have a craving get on that baby it will help ...I used to walk when i had a craving. In the beginning i sure did walk alot LOL

[Jacqui805]

It's funny you mention exercising right now, because and this is huge for me, I just got on my treadmill.  Had a really strong urge to.  Since I've lost so much muscle mass from being immobile for so long I couldn't stay on it more than a song, but I'm gonna keep hopping back on after a break.  

Goneunder,  trust me when I say this has been/is a real bad deal for me.  Somehow I'm getting through it.  I'd like to suggest you try the exercise, and I'll suggest a couple more things to you that've helped me.

The support here.
Gettin' out.
Music.
Sex

Jacqui - What antidepressant, and for how long did you take it before stopping?

[goneunder]

what do you do with the NAGGING feelings and thoughts and justifications of just wanting more meds because you know or at least think (feel) that would fix these feelings of "like your on a episode of lost" RAMBILING I KNOW> BARE W/ ME

[avisg]

it will get better ..... This may sound stupid ,but exercise helped me sooooo much .I had not done anything in years i started my first day of withdrawl ,it helped me heal sooooo much faster i felt like me again ...I started alitte at a time ,it was also great because it gave me something healthy to focus on

[goneunder]

i have some accountability partners and my doctor put me on some anti dep meds which make me feel worse so i stopped them i dont want to take anything that comes in a orange little btl>>>>but yet i do.....make sense

[oxygirl487]

well first congrats on the 4 weeks.....r u still having w/d symtoms? sounds like u r dealing with some depression.....i had the same problem it was like i didnt feel right in my own skin if u can understand that....feeling "normal" does return......i had to find new things to do cause obviously i wasnt comfortable with myself when i was using or i wouldnt have been an addict.....i know its hard and i understand... i think the number 1 cause of relapse is feeling out of place and u think the meds will make everything better.....getting clean involves more than just w/d...it involves a new life change so to speak ......new hobbies new friends in some cases......just a new life...a better life though u may not feel it now......i have a whole new perspective on things i look at things differently now and at fiirst that was scary but we r not supposed to feel good everyday...if u think about it....we r not supposed to be superman/woman......life is supposed to have ups and downs......drugs numb all ur emotions i was numb for 5 yrs and i am dealing with all those emotions built up over that amount of time......i hope this helps and i know how u feel hun and im here if u need to talk and talking about it does help......just remeber u have to forgive urself first......or i had to anyway...love ya and god bless u

[Jacqui805]

I feel your pain man.  I lost four years and haven't been me in so long.  I miss me and so does my family.  I gotta say that at Day 24 that is one thing that is coming back.  I've gone out a few times since stopping my med and I was me everytime!  I kinda sat back each time and went, AH.  It was such a relief.  It'll come back, that I promise.  I'm almost at four weeks and I know the hell this is, please don't start over!  You probably know by now every symptom of w/d is different for everybody as far as time goes.  Get outta the house.  I resisted, strongly at first, and I admit I went out more for my husband, my kids, or someone else, but once I was out, I did feel a whole lot better.

Hang in there,  Jacqui

[goneunder]

stopped on my own cold turkey but can get the meds whenever i want which is not good

[avisg]

welcome,
It sounds like you are going to need a recovery plan ....I would check into NA or an addiction counselor ,It is going to take time to relearn how to live without the drugs .It really does change your brain chemistry ....Things will get better ....... Did you quit because you wanted to stop or did you run out of meds?