here I go again, my 3rd time and today really *****!!!

This is the first time I have ever posted on anything like this but I too need lots of help, this is my 3rd time, and doing it CT since I'm not spending more money since my script is gone already. I have been taking percocet 10/325 for like 6 or 8 months,up to 10 a day, I have stopped for a small amount of time but due to the feeling of "I cant do this" or "I feel so crappy n tired" and so on I started back both times. I dont want this in my life anymore and saying and actually doing is 2 different things, I found that it is way too unbearable, the feelings you get when you stop, the way your body feels, I try to sleep at night and instead of the restless legs I feel like my arms are on backwards and I absolutely can not sleep even with the help of xanax, I'm laying here at this moment with nothing in my posession and its killing me, the depression is beginning, the crying, I have 2 beautiful children that i can not take my mood swings out on, i have to get them both up for school(ones in 5th grade and other is in preK) when going through this all i want to do is lay in my bed, i dont want out of the house, NOTHING! Any advise would be appreciated and I have read lots of posts already. Also it does not help me that my husband does the same thing and has quit with me but i'm not too sure he "WANTS" to quit this time, hes too full of excuses

[NoMore81410]

Hi and welcome to the forum! First off congratulations on making this decision! Sounds like you are done with it all and that is a great start! Have you looked up the Thomas Recipe? That will help you through this. There is also something for the RLS that can help.
Take a lot of hot baths! That helps a lot and also on this go around get into aftercare! Once an addict always an addict and the aftercare is life changing and can help you through the hardest times. As you know the first 72 hours are the worst but you have to fight for your life back. That's one thing that got me through this! Prayer and God was the main vector in this Recovery and boy do I need Him! I am 40 days clean today and I feel great and I have my health, my family, and my life back.
As far as your husband he has to make that decision on his own because if he is not ready then this will not work for him. Be that light to him and show him how it is making a difference in your life then maybe he will be ready!
Keep us posted! God Bless~

[Lindsay_T]

Hi Lost,
You are going through the very hardest time, as you prbly know... Have you read up on the amino acids and hot baths? These helped me a lot with the physical withdrawals. You are going to have ZERO MOTIVATIOn for a while, so it's a good idea to see if a friend can help with the kids... sleep overs or play times. I;m a mom too so I know how much you love them and want to be there for them. Please make up your mind to quit. It is POSSIBLE and the cravings (once you are through the physical WDs) do get less and less. Which means, you will have your life back. But you will only get it back one stinking day at a time. Hugs, Lindsay

[Punkinhead75]

Hi and welcome.  There is lots of good support and suggestions.  Aftercare is probably one of the best suggestions going.  I personally go to AA mtgs but many folks go to NA mtgs, out patient programs or counselors.  I wish you nothing but the best and keep letting us know how you are doing.  You are not alone.

[lostandscared10]

Congrats to you NoMore! Yes today is very hard, I slept ok, but it was the 1st night, today my arms are starting to feel like they are on backwards, I have never had a problem with my legs but always my arms, as long as I'm standing it dont bother me but as soon as I lay down it starts. Yes I read about the Thomas recipe and I'm going out in a few to begin my search for items, anything that may help is worth it because I am done, the hardest part right now is the cravings, but I cant and I wont. I keep a bad headache that wont go away with tyenol, aleve, excedrine migraine, nothing. I will be back later to post, I dont feel like going out of the house at all but I have to try something. THANKS EVERYONE FOR POSTING!

[jyv1]

You can do this, you will suffe, but you only need to suffer this one time and it's over.  Go one day at a time, endure and survive.  You are getting excellect suggestions.  I did this on June 22nd and I am still clean.  It was tough but day by day it got better. I was interested in being a part of my recovery by writing each day as I had the CT symtons and endured the discomforts. I am 82 years old so you can believe that age has nothng to do this. It can happen to anyone (addiction). and I didn't die from the CT symptoms!  It was rough, I don't have to go through that again and neither do YOU!! Hugs, jyv

[lostandscared10]

Thanks, today I have TRIED to keep busy to keep my mind off things but THINGS are still on my mind if that makes sence, today is my first FULL day, its almost 4 and WOW what a day so far, my headache will not go away, I feel so blah but I'm trying. Although I dont want to deal with anyone or anything I have to, but so far today I'm ok, dreading tonight though.

[lostandscared10]

dont look like anyone wants to post anymore and I'm about to give in, this is killin me, I want to fight it, I cant take this feeling like crap and I know I'll never sleep tonight even though I have Xanax to help, why feed one addiction with another?????

[loveJwhite]

I'm listening to you...I'm having a very rough day too. Lay it on me, tell me what's up.

[Punkinhead75]

Just got back on after a good walk with the pooch.  Whats going on lostandscared?

[justliloleme]

girl you r so not alone.. i am day one and i am flippin out~ i kow whats ahead.. done this many many times~ i end up buying them ~ till next script refill~ i am so fkcd!! how can i make this through nite.. jy legs r starting,, my heart racin..i feel depressed,,and yes..suicidal.. this is awfuk

[lostandscared10]

Just this feeling of crappy, my whole body is aching, the cravings are killing me really bad, I dont even want to try to go to sleep cause i know whats coming and the depression is starting, I feel like either dyin or givin in. My arms feel sooooo funny, not my legs like everyone else, I just wanna cut them off.

[gnarly_1]

HI....well first off your not alone and you can do this.....yes your going to feel like he!! for the next few days but you will get threw it....the first thing you need to do is try and keep a positive attitude going threw this...it is the one single thing that will make or break you
this is truly a battle one or lost in ones own mind...remember this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental so be ready to fight on both fronts...it time to bring this madness to an end in your life...it sounds like you have been down this road a few times so you know what to expect
you may want to try some highlands restful legs it will work on arms also the twitching is really hard to deal with...also a good hot bath helps with a lot of the symptoms for the next few days just get comfortable with the saying...''you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile'' you  will get threw this and no longer be chained to a pill bottle...you mentioned being tired and feeling sick after detoxing...thats pritty normal for most who do this also the length of time you used and your age is a factor in recovery the 20somerthigs come back around a lot faster then someone in there 40s  you just have to be pacent with your recovery I detoxed off methadone and it was 90 days b/4 I started to feel better but eventually you will get back in the grove again...aftercare is critical to making it out of this both A/A and N/A our free and the 12 step programs work if you work them if your not comfortable in groups you can see a substance abuse conslor or an addiction therapist most health care ins will cover the cost...the thing here is not to do the same thing over and expect different results you need to change how your going about this to have it work ...keep posting for support we all want to see you make it im just trying to plant some ideas in your head that will make it work this time around it no fun detoxing over and over again good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[Punkinhead75]

What you are going through is something u justhave to tough out.  i don't have much experience WDing from pills so I'm sorry I can't help much. Try hot baths.  Check the health pages for tips to help u get through it.   God Bless!

[Goalkeep15]

Hey everyone! I am on hour 48 from my 10 a day 7.5mg vicodin habit for about 3 months. I have a meeting with a counselor at 8am tomorrow, but know there is no way I will be able to sleep. I've been taking them from my father who has had back problems forever. I feel like crap. I know what y'all are going through. Legs hurt, and the pills are like 20ft from me. Ugghh

[amity_76]

Hi there, I too am addicted to percocets, I take the same amount you do, and I want off so bad as to why I joined this place, I have a very unhealthy marriage that I want out of , today was my limit i have taken so much pills today more then I ever have and its scaring me, so I reached out got the name of a very good doctor here in prince george b.c., and tomorrow after my job interview im calling. I have children that love me he is not the father thank god, and I am finacially screwed bad, and I too buy meds. well girl I may not be so much help but just know I am in the same boat hun, and maybe we all can swim together , I look forward to the day when I can come on here and say no pills for 5 days and then so on... I just know I'm at my breaking point , and I too am not looking forward to the W/D and the feelings of depression, but WE CAN DO IT GIRL XOXO

[lostandscared10]

where can  I get the highlands stuff? My arms are killin me!!!!!!!!!!

[lostandscared10]

Gotta try to sleep although I know I wont, I will post in morning or late tonight.  Thanks everyone

[gnarly_1]

the highlands restful legs is available at walmart or walgreens its in with the vitamins and herbal stuff.....it worth a drive there tonight.........Gnarly

[janet19]

My legs, arm, and everything else felt weird. Withdraw is the hardest part, hang in there. We are not always going to have the same symptoms.  Please don't give in. You are stronger than you think. I was even though it is hard I am determined to win this war. Don't let those little pill monsters win.

I have been clean since April and I still struggle through some days. I have had a few bad days this week and when this morning started out bad, I decided it was time to hit a meeting. Got home from that meeting about an hour ago and since the meeting I am high on my life, my recovery.

Someone above said to find aftercare. I did and found NA very helpful and you will find them to be very friendly and welcoming. They also have been where you are today and hearing people talk about their past lets you know you are not alone. Someone celebrated his recovery with 9 yrs clean tonight. So see it works and it has work for thousands and thousands of people. Including these dear people on this forum, which are here pretty much around the clock.

I also hear ya when you talk about your husband. My husband wants absolutely no part of recovery for himself. He is an alcoholic. But is very supportive of my being clean and sober. Makes it a little harder for him to drink when I am around, I believe because he feels some guilt. He has cut down considerably since the beginning of my recovery in April. Maybe it will help him also.

Trust and believe in yourself and you will make it!! You have some wonderful children and being clean will bring so much more joy into their lives as well as yours. Mom will have all that energy and can run around and romp in the middle of the living room. So many more reasons to be clean and sober.

[gnarly_1]

ooo also its natural you cant O/D on it I took them 4 at a time every couple of hrs as needed
and had no ill effects

[loveJwhite]

You can get the Hylands restful legs at wal mart or walgreens...they also have Hylands Calms Forte to help with anxiety. Have you tried Nyquil without the decongestant? It will get better. Don't think so hard about sleeping, try to relax......day by day. I will be thinking about you.

[lostandscared10]

well I'm up thanks to my arms even though I took 2 xanax, its not helping, I feel sleepy but I could chop off my arms.

[FassFeat]

Lost, I too had problems with my arms and got frustrated because everyone only talked about their legs. My legs and arms ached and stayed cold. I got the Hylands Restful legs @ Walmart (small bottle and they dissolve under ur tongue) I took 4 at a time like Gnarly suggested, I also found that there is a 3 in 1 supplement Calcium-Magnesium-Zinc and used it in conjunction with Hylands. I also went to my family DR and told him what was up, he prescribed me Clonidine which helped with everything (but you have to take as prescribed). All of the items I have mentioned are non addictive and will not cause you a problem long term. I also got a good multi vitamin (doubled up on it for the first week) and got some 5HTP, helps get your mind right (all natural supplement) All of my WD symptoms were gone in 7 days ( I was taking enough Hydro to kill an elephant for 3 years) I have to be honest, the legs and arms lingered (not as bad) but it stuck around thru the second week. I think the best thing I did to help them was to start wlking every morning after day 3. The first couple of days I didnt go far and I had to make myself do it, but it made me feel bette afterwards. Once you get thru the initial 3 days or so, the more activity, the better you will sleep.
For the encouraging part, I am on day 23 and feel completely normal physically and have for several days. I know you can do thisand I hope some of these posts will help, if even a little. Good Luck and God Bless. I would be happy to answer any questions, any time. Andrew

BTW, I was using more than you and am a little older than you. Also everyone is different. Everything I said was how it happened for me. I would expect that yours wouldnt last as long as mine (hopefully) The hot soaks or hot showers are a God send as well. (sorry so long)

[Storme]

Hi hon,

Maybe a trip over to a 24 hour Walgreens or Walmart might help you. The Hylands restful Legs or Hylands Calm Forte might truly help you. I wouldn't recommend the Nypuil after 2 xanax, might be a little bit of overload.

You know you can do this, even when that other part of you is saying "Oh Hell No!" to dealing with the withdrawals again and all the suffering that goes with them. But look at it this way, it is only a few more days and then all of the aches and weird feelings will end and you will sleep again. This cannot kill you even if it feels like it may make you go crazy. It won't do that either. Stay here and talk to us. Someone is always here and we do listen and we do care, very much. One day at a time hon.

If it gets too bad, why not talk to your doctor. They can prescribe meds that can help you through this. Mine gave me Clonodine and Valium for my restlessness and it helped me a great deal. I only had to take it for two days and the rest, I did on my own. Your doctor will not chastise you if you fear that. You need to be truthful with him as well as with yourself about all of this. You are doing the best thing you ever could for yourself!!

[cantfly]

i get restless limb syndrome in my arms not legs -anti nausia meds make it much worse, but now have some that dont. i found vallium worked (is that same as Xanax?) -but is not the answer obviously. now i use hot water (shower, bath or spa) -i must be the cleanest person on the planet... or heat packs.. also i used to swing my arms arround in circles -helped short term..

all the best.  

[lostandscared10]

I just got out of a hot shower, right now my arms feel ok til I lay down again, Im afraid to drive after taking 2 xanax and the walmart is maybe 3 miles or so away, my eyes are soooo heavy, I called the walmart just to see if they had it because I was going to get hubby up to go for me but no one will answer in that department, go figure. I appreciate all of you, I definitely would have given in tonight if it wasnt for you! Even if I dont sleep tonight I will go to walmart and walgreens to try and find this stuff first thing in the morning, I can not do another night like this, I'm scared of giving in. I thought I was a stronger person than this, well I know I am, so god be with me please cause I am feeling sooo weak right now.

[lostandscared10]

its 451 am and finally I had fell asleep, only to get up at 4 by the alarm clock to get hubby up for work, hopefully I can go back to sleep though, this headache is killin me, Will it hurt to take 800 mg Motrin since nothing else has worked?

[this_big]

Hi, 800mg of IB is a RX dose...That being said...I take 800mgs of IB all the time without an RX. In fact my DR used to tell me to just take 4 200mg tabs. It probably wont hurt you. But im not a DR. Have you tried goody's for your headaches? They have a new orange flavored one you can take without gagging..lol. It works real well for my headaches. Good luck. Hope this helps

[lostandscared10]

thanks, well the 800 mg IB RX helped for a short amount of time, I did fall back asleep though and then got my son up at 715 for school, then went back to sleep til 10, I definitely dont want to be up but my 4 year old has to go to preK at 12. This is sooooo hard especially since I CAN go to the dr today and get a script of percs and knowing that is sooooooo hard right now.  

[don1234]

dont do it yer on your way im on day ten now i'm a stay at home dad of 4 and i got thru the gettin kids where they had to be was real ugly first few days but gets better i promise.i took 4-5 baths a day and some more in the wee hrs of the mornin the first few days along with vitamins and the other items on health pages i pushed thru u can too.keep positive thoughts is the most important thing think of your kids they need you clean and healthy.

[lostandscared10]

thanks, I didnt so far, this is full day 2 if I make it but tonight will be the 3rd night, although I did not feel like it I went shopping and bought my kids some new clothes, didnt buy myself a thing, I feel like Ive been a bad mommy even though they get anything they want n need, I just felt like I needed to buy THEM something, and trying to keep myself occupied but constantly its runnin through my head.

[IBKleen]

You are doing great! two days is fantastic and if you were able to get out and shop that is great. You managed to keep yourself occupied and the exercise will help you rest tonight.

BTW, you are not a BAD mommy. You are a GOOD mommy with a bad disease.

Keep up the fight and in a few days you will feel like a New mommy!!!!

[lostandscared10]

the crying has began, I cant take this, I'm going insane, as the evening progresses it gets worse, my headache will not go away for nothing and with nothing,

[FassFeat]

You are doing great, I know you don't think so at the moment, but the first 72 hrs are  generally the worst of it, you don't have long till things start turning. Hang in there. Take a hot bath and listen to some music or watch a funny movie. It does bite, but so worth it. I promise. Congrats on 2 days.

[lostandscared10]

gettin ready to lay down, dreading it!!!!!!!! I'll post tomorrow if I get to sleep.

[lostandscared10]

dag i dont post and no one at all seemed concerned, WOW, that amazes me

[gnarly_1]

HEY.....Im always concired when I dont see someone post....you dont know what is happening are they ok did they fall back .....but its up to you to keep posting for support your the one that needs the help and where all happy to give it....this forum moves fast
whats on page 1 will only be there part of the day sometimes the posts get lost in the shuffle
I do my best to keep up with as many as I can theres a lot of us that do but again its up to you to keep us up to date on how things are going for you...we will be here to encourage and help you as much as possible ...the sleep thing can be ruff...it lasted 2mo for me
ill never forget it as long as I live...that and the anxiety where the worst 2 symptoms I had
for sleep try this....run a bath as hot as you can stand it...get in if only for 5 or 10 min
get out and go lay on top of the covers to your bed and dry off from there ...then just sorta let yourself air cool this should relax you enough to sleep...it was the only way I could get any sleep for 2 mo give it a try it works...dont leve us in the dark post and post often you need all the support you can get wile your going threw this good luck and God bless.....Gnarly