Seeking encouragement to stay clean

[Max_and_Lilys_mama]

I'm currently 3 months pregnant with my third. I'm scared because I was addicted to opiates with my first 2 pregnancies and really wanna stay clean this time around. It's so hard for me because I feel like such a bad mom to the two I already have and am only 4 days clean this time around. Both of my children are smart, gorgeous and full of personality but I fear I won't get the good luck this time around if I continue. I've only told one doctor of my problem and that was 7 years ago. My current midwife doesn't know and I'm scared to tell her. I started taking Wellbutrin in hopes that if my depression is gone I won't feel like I "need" the opiates to be a good mom. They help give me energy, make me feel like I ca keep up with the kids and housework but then the time comes where I'm out of cash and can't get anymore and I feel resentful towards my husband and children. Anyone been through this and ca offer advice?

[Sonrissa]

Hi Mama,  I'm so glad you found us and are reaching out for support. We've had many women here who have been pregnant, addicted, and taking pills. You are not alone. I do agree with the others, that you need to be honest with your midwife and doctor.  If you are honest, and seeking help and want to quit, then there is less chance of anyone trying to take your kids. Take care, I wish you all the best. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[Missy1231984]

Hang in there!  Getting off these pills is so hard.  It's good that your husband knows though.  Are you in any kind of counseling or therapy?  

[Max_and_Lilys_mama]

Thank you so much everyone for being an outlet for me. Made an appt with my midwife to discuss my options. My biggest fear is having my children taken from me because I'm not string enough on my own. I greatly appreciate you all taking time out of your day to offer advice and support. Your amazing people. I CAN and WILL do this.

[ChasingFreedom]

Being pregnant changes everything.   The baby's health should be in the forefront of kicking this thing.  You really should be totally honest with your midwife.  You might be surprised by her willingness to help you.  After all,  she should want the very best for you and your child.  Great job so far.  Day 4 is pretty awesome while pregnant and wrangling two other children.  You should be gaining the upper hand after the first week.  You're NOT a bad mom.  You have a disease...one you cannot do alone.  Do you have your husband on board with helping you?  You CAN be free...and what a wonderful feeling it WILL be.  Sending positive thoughts your way.

[ouchie1987]

Have you tried therapy?? Does your family insurance ? Maybe it could be covered or go to ur doc and ask him for a free referral.
How old are your other kids??
I'm sorry you are going through this, pregnancy is hard and emotional as is.
With my pregnancy I had serious kidney stones the while time so was on Percocet all 9 months. My doc knew and monitor ed me. My baby turned out healthy with no withdrawals. I felt so lucky.
What do you think you could change to make your life better??

[jifmoc]

Hi Max. You asked for help so please listen: I agree w/ Ouchie, you MUST get help. This isn't about you right now, it's about a healthy baby. Gonna be tough on you: so what if you're scared, we all have been, tell your dr anyway. You are playing w/ your unborn baby's life otherwise. A midwife isn't a dr (at least I don't think so) so they have NO place prescribing you anything. And, no, Wellbutrin or any anti-depressant is not gonna keep you from using opiates. You are an addict so you will use until you set up a plan and a program to stop. But for now, go to the doctor and take his/her advice. Okay?

[Max_and_Lilys_mama]

My midwife is who prescribed the Wellbutrin. 6 months of Prozac did nothing for me so she is having me try the Wellbutrin. My husband knows about my addiction and has threatened to leave me multiple times. I am extremely depressed because of things from my childhood as well as recent traumatic experiences.

I feel like I can kick the habit this time. Was just hoping reaching out would put me in contact with someone who can relate or has been in my situation.

[ouchie1987]

Are you sure you can take wellbutrin while pregnant??? I red somewhere that it's very very dangerous.
It sounds like you're self medicating. This is a huge risk for your unborn child. Please please go see your baby doc and be honest.
I'm glad you're reaching out for help on here but when you are pregnant it all changes. I don't think you should wd while pregnant either it could cause a miscarriage. How far along are you?+
I'm really concerned for you and your child, please go seek help

[Missy1231984]

Congrats on your 4 days!  How are you feeling?  Were you prescribed the meds from a doctor?  If so the doctor may be able to help give you suggestions or a referral on how to get help.  Does your husband know about your addiction?   I get the same energy boost from pills too and am still tapering.  The pills made me feel like a better person even though I know it is a false reality.