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Avatar universal

hi everyone!

Ive been recreationally using cocaine for about 1.5 years now and as much as i want to say that im never gonna do it again, i always go back. i can go 2 months with nothing at all.. but when i have a cocktail or two with friends, guess what the first thing is that comes to mind..." a bump would be so good right now". Cocaine has, i think, actually causeD me to have an anxiety disorder yet i still crave it. I cant imagine myself being an addict...but i guess i am.......right??
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Avatar universal
Listen to gizzy - I was using coke for - oh, 25 years I guess if I actually think about it. It wasnt hard for me to stop - its mostly mental with coke....but it did take me several tries before it stuck - havent done a line in many years and dont miss it a bit- - - actually it flat out scares me because of what gizzy mentioned....I did have a heart attack years back and got pretty depressing news that I still have to work on....its not proper to stimulate your fight or flight system unnecesarily by doing a line and having a major dopamine dump and racing heart..............there is a real reason they call it "chasing the dragon" - - and you really dont want to catch a dragon.....
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Avatar universal
it's is in your best interest to stop drinking if it is causing you to use blow. i myself relapsed recently with coke after making a poor choice and getting smashed. for most coke addicts alcohol sets something off in the brain that triggers those intense cravings which i call coke mode. at this point the obsessive thoughts about using coke become so strong it's next to impossible to not use. please think long and hard about this, i used for 5 years and im still fighting to stay clean, but life without this drug is so much better. sometimes it only takes a few lines to give u a heart attack. u need to look into a support group of some kind, this is a good start. cocaine does cause anxiety along with many other problems. best of luck to you and you made it pretty clear what u need to do. when u have a cocktail or 2, the first thing that comes to mind is a bump. lay off the booze as i will now too :) take care
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Avatar universal
You may already know the answer to that question.  You said using coke has caused you to have an anxiety disorder and you still crave it...  That's insane behavior!  And that type of insane behavior is what makes up an addict!  You are definitely in the right place, and asking yourself that question is a great step.  Look up NA on google, there's tons of info there that can help you answer that question.  And keep posting here, this is a great place for support!!  good luck :)
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