Girlfriend blues

[suboxoneaddict]

Hey you guys, I am at the end of a suboxone taper and I am starting to feel really crappy most of the time. My girlfriend doesn't understand when I leave her house in the middle of the night because I am jumpy and can't sleep. She takes it personally when I leave as if I just don't want to be with her. Anyway, can any of you folks give her a heads up about the detox process so that she doesnt get mad or jealous when I start getting even more uncomfortable. Thanx If you want to know more about my taper etc.go to my other post of a week ago.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Girlfriend, This is a time to put his needs first. He needs you to be there for him without pressure and on his terms. Withdrawals are a nasty thing to go through. If he is leaving, it is so you don't have to be around him when he feels this way. He is not forsaking you but rather, is probably doing this for the both of you. Be patient as recovery takes a long time. I am talking about full recovery, where he is back to normal in his mind and body. Not just the withdrawals.

[Clamity2]

Support him. He needs you more than you will ever know, hopefully.  

CONGRATS ON THE SUCCESSFUL TAPER!!  Keep on going.

[tommm70]

My girlfriend had a tough time with this one. I have a high profile job, and keeping my issue a secret was very, very difficult. That alone puts a tremendouns strain on things. That along with me being on the road much of the summer also adds to our stress. I am scared to death of marriage, and things like this are what keeps me from it.
My behavior was unacceptable at times, but we made it. It was tough, but we did.

How? Because true love is unconditional. that means no matter what, (besides being unfaithful, which in my opinion is a deal breaker) you support that person. As tough as it is, your condition is temporary. And she has to understand there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is gonna get worse before it gets better. the WDs are gonna make you very tired, and you won't have much energy. you also may want to be alone as the creepy crawlies keep you on your feet.

It will all end though, life will be much better. She has to see that. And again, true love is unconditional. you did not ask for this, but life sucks sometimes. We have to deal with i.

good luck to you both.

[kim715]

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to try and rationalize what is going on with your boyfriend.What he is going through is one of those things in life that if you haven't been there yourself it's hard to put it into words and explain it to someone who hasn't.I can tell you as an addict in recovery his behavior is quite normal and has nothing to do with his feelings for you.He is not just dealing with physical discomfort but alot of mental and emotional issues as a result of his prior addictive lifestyle.Since that is something as addicts we did to ourselves for whatever reason,we need that time alone to work it out.I know there were days when I wanted my husband in the house but not in the same room.I wanted to know he was there when I needed him,but sometimes when my anxiety got to high I felt like I couldn't breathe just having him lay next to me in bed at night.Night time is often the worst time for all of us .You're body is tired but uncomfortable and you're mind starts racing.You want nothing more but to just sleep and make it all go away if even for a brief few hours ,but the sleep won't come and you feel like you're just going to jump out of your skin if you don't get up and just go.There were many times I would be out walking around the block in the wee hours of the morning just so I could feel like I could breathe again.Please know that he does need your love and support right now ,maybe now more then ever.I know to our loved ones that it must seem that we are being selfish or withdrawn,but please believe me he wants nothing more then to be able to put it into words for you so that you will understand,he is just struggling right now and the words won't come.The fact that he asked for help from those of us who have been there and don't have the emotional attachment to you that he does shows how much he cares for you and needs you and doesn't want to hurt you or lose you over this.I hope this helped.You as well can talk to us anytime,we are here to help you both.I will keep you both in my prayers.Peace.

[Penelope14]

Its common for people who are not addicts to not get it? My husband was the same way when I tapered off methadone, I to didnt feel well for many weeks & wasnt sleeping & just wanted to be left alone, so I did the best I could to inform him about the detox process & to not take it personal. You just need to reasure her that its gonna get better & to be patient, also you can recomend to her to do some research regarding sub detox? & Hang in their its gonna get better!!!

[flmagi]

Does she read the forum? I'm guessing you will show it to her.
Dear girlfriend,
Don't take his absence during this time personally. It really has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. Withdrawels is one of the tuffest things a person can go thru. It unpredictable, painful and can cause mood swings, sleeplessness and a whole list of symtoms. For alot of people, it's best to go thru it alone, especially at night. If you want to help him, let him do what he has to do without judgeing him or putting any presure on him to prove his love to you at this time. You will be thankful for the end results when he comes out of this clean. It may take alittle while,  then he will need your love and support. But for now, he is struggling and needs to do this. He is fighting for his life.