hour one is here

[Me1025]

Well here goes nothing, I'm done with the oxy's and I'm scared. I took my last oxy 5hrs ago and going from so much to nada is scary. I have noone to talk to, noone that that understands. All my family sees is that this is just another "thing" with Mel. They have been down this road with me before and are reluctant to go down it with me again. They think I have chosen this, and in a way i suppose I have, but I def didn't choose to have this chronic pain. I did everything the doctors told me to do, tried every alternative presented to me and found on my own my doing research but I seem to be the small percentage of the pts that don't respond to treatment. I've been through the recovery before with cocaine and that's still a struggle to this day and I've been off coke for 7yrs. Will the cycle ever stop? What's gonna give this time around? Coke was a recreational, oxy's never were so how did this happen. Nevertheless, its time to start over again. I can't live in the past and why did I do this or why didn't I do that, I can only learn from the past and hope that it will make my future better. it has to, i have no other options.

[addict3]

Hi Mel,

You sound better today; at least you are able to keep something down. Take things minute by minute if you have to, then hour by hour. Force yourself to eat and drink. Exercise will help more that just about anything, start that now, just walking if that is all you are able to handle, then progress from there.
You will be better soon………..hang on.

[QRSED]

I am so happy to hear you made it through the night.  That is awesome for you, I am so happy to hear from you because I had a sleepless night and you were in my thoughts.  You are doing this!  Take it minute by minute like you said and everything will gradually get better. Great Job, You can do this!!  Good luck and god bless!

[Me1025]

Hi, its Mel. Its been a long, terrible night. I am thankfully able to now keep down gatorade and broth with the help of phenergan (godsend) for me. I've been taking epson salt baths every few hours which has slightly decreased the terrible pain/cramps in my legs. My underlying pain continues to be an issue to which i don't know how to handle yet,but that's jumping ahead of myself at this point. Each second seems to be a small victory. My spirit feels crushed and although My sister has been by my side all night the emptiness, loneliness, despair I feel is unbearable. As a RN I knew the possible consequences to long-term use of opiods, but we are always told that as long as your taking your meds for true pain addiction is not going to occur (that's what my MD told me) What a bunch of BS!  But the blame can only be mine for I took the pills and so many times instead of taking them as written I would take 10x the prescribed dose for the pain was just to much resulting in my addiction. These pills have destroyed me, left me a shell of the person i once was...I applaud all of you that have been able to go through this and stay off the pills or whatever your DOC may be. I'm just trying to get through this minute and then the next but I'm just barely hanging on here and again I ask you sweet Jesus to help me, please help me

[vicki595]

Dave--You make a very good point. There really is not a lot of guidance regarding pain meds. Look at Tramadol!!  

"May be habit forming",,,"May cause drowsiness"  just doesn't quite explain what can happen to any individual, at any time, who takes a pain med. I think all these meds
should have very heavy,specific warnings. People don't always know exactly what happens when the pills stop!   Look at how many "accidental addicts" we've seen here.

I hope Mel or Sara check in here..

[Dav125]

Get some Progresso Vegetable soups..They were about the only thing I could tolerate..It was in small spoonfuls here and there at first, but as I ate more, it agreed with me more..I went mainly for the broth in them at first..I'd make pieces of toast too or nibble on crackers some, but within a day or so I started making sandwiches to go with it...When I thought of a meat and 3 veggie dinner or something, I just couldn't phantom it..Those soups really did help me though..I broke my time up with spoonfuls in mind as well..Every hr I would make myself get a little. So that was like gaining ground in each time increment saying to myself "ok, chaulk up another success and now go for the next"..

And Sara, I am very happy to hear you are there to help..There's a lesson being learned here about exactly how bad these pills can affect a person..As well as highlight how void the warnings are of the true nature of fullblown wd's from the oxy's...Regardless of whether a person is taking them as prescribed, over time, they will take a terrible hold on a person..Addict or not, they extract consequences which most don't realize is waiting for them until they decide to change course..And that change course comes from the person recognizing the fog the pills create after extended use where living becomes existence and existence only....So they decide "enough" only to find themselve deep in a dark hole wondering how they got there..Its a terrible drug from that aspect..

[QRSED]

you may also want to try adding Epsom salts to bathwater when soaking in the tub, I believe there is magnesium in the salt which will enter the body through the pores.  Good luck.