hour one is here

[Me1025]

Well here goes nothing, I'm done with the oxy's and I'm scared. I took my last oxy 5hrs ago and going from so much to nada is scary. I have noone to talk to, noone that that understands. All my family sees is that this is just another "thing" with Mel. They have been down this road with me before and are reluctant to go down it with me again. They think I have chosen this, and in a way i suppose I have, but I def didn't choose to have this chronic pain. I did everything the doctors told me to do, tried every alternative presented to me and found on my own my doing research but I seem to be the small percentage of the pts that don't respond to treatment. I've been through the recovery before with cocaine and that's still a struggle to this day and I've been off coke for 7yrs. Will the cycle ever stop? What's gonna give this time around? Coke was a recreational, oxy's never were so how did this happen. Nevertheless, its time to start over again. I can't live in the past and why did I do this or why didn't I do that, I can only learn from the past and hope that it will make my future better. it has to, i have no other options.

[petroglyph54]

I use to tell people about back pain that for someone who doesn't know it personally,no explanation is possible, for those that do, no explanation is necessary. I don't know about the pelvic pain [I'm a guy], but I very aware of disc buldging etc, which is like I mentioned already. I've done the narcotic route[oxy's etc.] for several years and they arn't as good of therapy as they were. I did have some of the self termination thoughts before, but I've been tapering and they have went away. The narcotics seem to put those lousy thoughts in our heads, but they will quit, when we do. Or at least get your dose down, down, smaller lesser, unimportant and gone. I'm having a bit of a rough time at the moment and it's hard to type but want to get out to you to let you know that you are not alone!! Nope.Nada. It's hard to believe I know that after a while on narcotic pain management, it really does seem to increase the pain and require more medication. At least it does to me. My goal at this time cuz I've been in pain for decades now is to make darn sure I'm treating real pain and not the induced pain from the pills. I'm sick, in pain and just a few hours ahead of you and until I make my mind up it's time to jump, I'm not claiming anything, I wish you peace and will try to watch your progress. You are at a pretty high dose to ct, but others have done it. Congratulations on your decision!!

[QRSED]

I' on hour 26 or something like that but I hear the fear cz i felt it.  I dont really feel up to typing but you can do it.  I have over a day in and yees, it wasn't fun, but its behind me now.  Good luck and god bless, i will following your progress.

[trying0]

I am  on 30 hours and my legs are going crazy and i feel depressed and so alone. My head is pounding and I cant sleep but i am yawning like crazy...
I am a first timer and is this the WD? how long will it last?

[sudie58]

yes, it is withdrawals you are going through, your not alone, a lot of folks on here are doing it too, have a warm bath, drink plenty of fluids look after yourself, you will get there,  what are you coming off?   god bless, sudie

[Dav125]

2 or 3 days of the real rough physical part..The night sweats,,hard time sleeping,,anxiety(when will it end), total lack of energy, no apettite, RLS ,some have it in the legs, some in the arms (like me)..Hard to gauge intensity because we all are different and alot depends on amounts used over what period of time..

72 hrs is the tipping point in most cases when things turn for the better(slowly)..These 1st few days are hard if your not mentally prepared for them..You have to push thru ""no matter what"..Thats the best you can do and set your sights on breaking thru..I feel for you all. Been there,done that..Its not an enjoyable experience by any means..

[exhydrohead]

Listen to what everyone here has to say, I have been through it and it is hell, no lie. But it is only temporary, very temporary... When you are done detoxing life will be awesome! It took e about 2 weeks or so to get back to feeling like I was back on top of the world physically and mentally, so it's not a quick fix type of thing.  After a week the worst was over physically, and slightly mentally. The second week was no joyride either though, it too was tough but not as bad as week 1 as I was able to work and socialize moderately during my second week.  After about 2 weeks or so, you will start to feel wonderful.  I have gone through detox twice, hopefully I will never again.  From over 200mg of oxy/roxy/hydro or whatever I could get to a month later running 4 miles a day and exercising, socializing, feeling and looking great! I Couldn't imagine going back to the life of pills.  Life is wonderful, it is worth the hell which is detox.  Just hold on day by day, and before you know it the pills will be an afterthought and life will be amazing.  I have even an added appreciation for life after getting off of the pills, I can say life is awesome right now.  It can be for you too, the detox will be over and life will start again. Just DONT GIVE UP!!!
Good luck :)

[Me1025]

I'm going crazy, the abd cramping, sleeplessness, pain in every bone in my body! I feel like I may break if someone touch's me. My family treats me as if I don't exist making this that much worse...I guess if you avoid something long enough it will go away...I haven't eaten in days & I'm not even into the withdrawals full blown yet, I can't do this, can I??

[Dav125]

Do you have some immodium? If not, get it or get someone to get it for you..The lack of eating with the possible stomach/bathroom problems will dehydrate you fast..Make toast if you have to. Try to eat something..Need to change that last statement you made too : I can do this,,can't I?  Heck yeah you can...No fun at all but fight for these next three days with everything you've got..Try deparately not to think too much about the feelings..The more you dwell in them the worse things are..Same as laying in the bed too long staring at the ceiling. Get up and move around some. Even if its a lap around the living room..Stand strong..This is a battle to take your life back..

[Me1025]

No immodium, no need yet. I'm trying to get down some tea..I can't get comfortable, the blankets are either to heavy or not warm enough. This is hell!!

[Dav125]

Your darn right it is..Get some immodium though..Really..the first two times I didn't appreciate what it could do for a person except at the tail end of the second round. This past round that started for me Dec 31st I had it on hand as I knew the value of it..Please get some if you can...And keep the fluids going along with what food you can eat even if its toast. If the stomach problems hit, they need something to "move" if you catch my drift..Diarrehea on an empty stomach makes things ten times worse..No Lie..

[Me1025]

Is anyone out there, I'm really struggling to hang on here

[Me1025]

I just need to hear that there is someone out there that has chronic pain & is able to live life without narcotics. To top it off my pelvic pain/problems are flaring up & I'm in excruciating pull out my hair pain. I want this, I need this but I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel

[rubyvroom]

Hang there please!! I cant say i have been excatly where you are at but i know the feeling of thinking there is nobody that cares. It is a crap feeling to have.. But please try to stay focused on yourself and the amount of satisfaction you can gain for yourself by working thru this!

[QRSED]

Keep it up please, I'm on day two CT and I know wat your going through, aside from your chronic pain and I feel so sorrrrrry for that.  But I read somewhere on this site that while your in WD's the pain in your body is much more intense than it really is because your coming off your substance and it feels more intense.  I also know that there are heavyduty anti-inflammatory pain meds that are non-narcotic and work pretty well such as TORADOL, they're pretty hard on your stomach though.  But please keep it up, like i said i'm on day two and i've been following your progress and it is actually pushing me to keep going believe it or not.  You are inspiring me to keep it up so lets do it together. I hope this helps.  Good luck and god bless you.

[Me1025]

QRSED: thanks for your words of encouragement, its nice to know were not alone although in a physical sense we are. I really am trying but each minute that goes by is an eternity I pray for sleep, but get nothing but restlessness & the pain is to a point where I'm sobbing for just a second of relief, pounding on my legs for that pain distracts me from the other. I've started vomiting everything I put in my stomach, so I've gone to sucking on ice I truly feel like I'm on the brink of death & as funny as its not I would welcome it right now...like I said I'm barely hanging on & its not even been 24hrs yet. I'm supposed to work in 2 days & if I don't I won't have a job. Again back to the double-edged sword. But you hang in there & know your in my prayers!

[Me1025]

Oh dear sweet Jesus please help me or take me home

[petroglyph54]

I feel you, i know you are suffering, we all sense the urgency for even a moment of relief. Be easy pounding on yourself, when this goes away those places on your body will hurt. I quit about 5 weeks ago from you dosage, and it was like it is for you now. I have pain issues as well, and made the choice to taper, which I did till 24 hours ago. It's a lot better this time, now it's only horrible. You should somehow get mosst of the vitamins recommended here and, like dear vicki says 4 motrins every 8 hours. YOu have to get liquids and some nutrition in you or you'll dehydrate,which can be dangerous, Will somebody get you that whey protein powder Gnarly1 recommends? I just had a glass it's good, and if you have to throw up it tastes a lot better than bile. You are not alone, you are not, pull thru this or taper but I can not keep going thru this and have to quit, so do you, peace!

[addict3]

I hope you are able to hang in there, I know it is tough right now, but in a short time you will have this stuff out of your system and be happy that you did it!

I found that after I had detoxed the narcotics from my system, the OTC pain relievers worked really well.

Try some of the suggestions in the Thomas recipe and the Amino acid protocol, they are listed in the Health pages in the upper right portion of this page.

Please consider some after care......That could just make this the last time you have to W/D from anything!


Hang in there and keep posting.......it will help.

[QRSED]

All i can tell you is i feel better on day two than day one but do not take that the wrong way because i still feel horrible and everyone is different.  If you have to go to work in a couple of days you may have to consider tapering off as "petroglyph54" mentioned because I have heard some of the WD's can last 5 days.  I do not mean to frighten you I just thought you should know.  I do not know what type of work you do but maybe you should consult with some of the senior members on the site.  I am sure they would be more than happy to give you some insight. Good luck to you and you'll be in my thoughts

[Dav125]

Just hang in there,,,both of you..It will pass. You have to focus and believe in it..These days will soon be history..

[QRSED]

I Have been thinking about you and I hope you are still hanging tough.  Hope to see you post soon. You can do this!!  Someone told me to think about all the reasons you want to quit and keep reminding yourself about them.  What also worked for me was getting mad at the drug for everything it has taken away from me. I would be alone in the washroom upstairs and I would just start cursing at that little demon pill.  I'm still doing this because I'm not finished with day two CT yet.  It probably sounds stupid and I'm sure I'll laugh about it one day but it occupied my time for at least a little bit.  Any way please keep fighting and keep posting.  Also take hot soaks that really helps too.  I wish you all best of luck.

[Dav125]

You learning QRSED..There's nothing stupid about what you just said..Its the most powerful tool you have right now..Acknowledging what the pills did to you and getting angry about it. And its the truth. 100%.. Your doing great..

[Me1025]

I am a RN so right there causes a problem in itself. I am surrounded by every legal narcotic imaginable..not that I would ever dream of taking my pts meds, I also have never been in this state & having to take care of someone else. I work in a Cardiac ICU so being anything less than on top of my game & sharp on my toes is unacceptable because I care for the acutely ill & one mistake on my part could mean there life. I love what I do but don't know if right now I can take care of anyone but myself. So I'm considering taking the week off. I can't taper because I flushed the oxy's down the toilet, stupid maybe but I'm desperate to get clean & stay clean. The only way I was able to function at work before was on the pills, they allowed me to do my job & not be curled up in a ball in pain on the couch hence $y fear of stopping. Will I be able to do my job anymore? Will I be able to lift? God I need help to get through this. The more time that passes I see that those pills enabled me to work, but with how clear of a mind? I always took much higher doses when off the clock, taking the bare minimum to get me through a 12hr shift, but now what? I'm scared scared I won't be able to do what I love because of this debilitating disease have I lost it? I feel as if I'm going crazy, barely hanging on...thanks for all of your help, encouragement & advice..you all are saving my life whether you realize it or not & I sincerely thank you

[wantoutofhell]

I'm really feeling for you!  I'm in serious pain, though probably not like yours, and without the oxys the pain is kicking my butt!!!!   I just pray it will pass too, along with fantasizing about drugs.

You are far from alone. I'm on day  4 1/2.  It WILL pass!!!  Wether or not you use, the time will pass. So far better to not use.  You've already given up other problems successfully! I know you can do it!  I relate a lot!  My family's been thru a lot with me, too. They don't even know about my most recent issue... they are just so grateful I quit drinking years ago, and are now proud of me for quitting smoking New Year's Eve...  I did tell them I stopped taking my pain medication for broken ribs (An accident snapped several right in half and fractured the rest!) because I didn't think it was good for me.  They took it as another sign that I'm so much healthier!  I don't want them to know the truth... and only because they don't deserve to worry. They've had so much worry already and already lost a child, my little brother, when he was 22.  I don't want them in fear!  God bless them!  

I really feel for you.  You my support, and the support of all of us here!  Stay strong. I know you can.  Your "sweet Jesus" comment made me cry. I'm so there with you!