54 hours off Norco -

[kmo2626]

I'm over the afternoon hump. The "hump" consisted of chest pain, a lot lot lot of tears and sadly some talk of suicide because I feel like such a burden on hubby and son. I'm sorry to even say the suicide word because pray that never happens to my family.
I did groceries this morning, filled up the pool, made a nice lunch and cleaned out some clothes drawers that have been driving me crazy for years. So I feel ok I guess. The tears are off and on, when I saw my son who just walked in the door from a motorcycle course he had been taking for two days and all he said was "I'm headed to my girlfriends house" don't get me wrong, they've been together since High School, we love her, it just made me so sad and angry that he didn't want to talk for a little, but he told my husband he doesn't know what to say when I start crying which is understandable. Maybe I shouldnt have told him that I was doing this, but he is 20 and if anything he needs to see what these drugs did to his Mum. I love him so much, he would do anything for me, but I really do think that he is angry with me for having to go through this. I think he holds a lot of resentment which in turn causes almost all of my depression.
don't get me wrong, he is a perfect child, my only child, my depression stems from how badly I have failed him as a parent :-(
Ok, I gotta stop rambling. I just took half a .25 Xanax and an Ambien and a vitamin to get me through the night and pray I sleep.

[selfinduced]

Hey You, Just logged on and looking for more inspiration. I don't know if your one tough cookie or just a good faker, but you seemed to be such a better sport than I am at this detox stuff. I keep telling myself how it has to be now or never and that prolonging it will only make things worse, but I am seriously feeling like crap! I have gone about my day to day, but we have company coming in town tonight for the week. After that is another flow of company throughout the summer. I just feel headachey, shaky,burning eyes (but not sleepy),weak, you name it. Not sure why my symptoms came on so strong as it doesn't sound like others post. I am taking the mindet 2/3 mental and 1/3 physical to heart and maybe thats what is adding to my yucky feeling. Sorry to go on about myself. I am trying not to bother you cause I know you have yet to reach the magical 72 hour mark....Oh wait! Have you by now??? I am going for a hot bath . I will message you later. I hope and pray you are on the mend by now. Thanks for listening.

[new2thisAZ]

I am impressed with your ability to be so honest. While your son may be angry right now, he will benefit from you honesty and transparency.

I'd like to send encouragement your way: You talk about being a "bad" parent and failing him in the past. That may have been then, and this is NOW. Look at what you are doing to be there now! It's great, and amazing, and hard... and worth it.

I'm really not one to talk and say how much better it will get - I'm only on Day 5 myself of a percocet and vicodin obsession. But day 5 is shockingly better than Day 4, which was a little better than Day 3, which was better than Day 2. So, I think we're headed in the right direction. :-)

The emotional roller coaster is so tough, for us and for those around us. But that gets better, too.

My best to you.

[kmo2626]

I slept about five hours last night with the help of Ambien/Xanax/Ibuprofen and a vitamin. I'm drinking so much water and gatorade which is helping IMMENSELY but my appetite is small. All I ate on Saturday was a plain turkey wrap, and saltine crackers....yesterday I ate at lunch some baked chicken. I'm just eating once a day at the moment but its getting better...I'm actually looking forward to a big salad today!! Still very wary about what I eat and keeping my liquid Immodium close.
I have never been able to rate how I feel. I'm in the bath at the moment, no tears today, about to get ready for work, and that's where I'm at, I feel ok. Better than I thought I would. Still aches, I'm not going to lie, but the ibuprofen is helping.
How are you?

[selfinduced]

Did you sleep through the night? Can you eat much? Scale of 1-10 how do you feel. (1 being the worst)?

[kmo2626]

I just woke pretty much, still laying in bed on my cell phone checking the forum first thing. I sent you a message ....check your inbox. Just took my ibuprofen, vitamins and a Xanax...hopefully this will help getting me started. xx

[selfinduced]

G'morning, Just checking to see how your feeling today? Wishing you a smoother day, strength and some peace. Hang in there!

[kmo2626]

No, I only got this Xanax script to help the detoxing, and the Ambien I take sporadically for sleep anyway and have since the surgery. My dizziness went away today? SO HAPPY.

[gnarly_1]

I know your detoxing off the norco but are you also trying to do the ambien and xanex also ?
both those meds need to be tapered the reson im aslking was your other post about being dizzy ???..........Gnarly