I'm at this again!

[amarw]

I am 16 hours into detox and there is NO turning back this time!! The last time I went through this I made it through by using this forum and all the wonderful people on here who helped me through before. I am getting married in 11 days and want to look into my future husbands eyes and actually feel the emotion from that day.

So far I am not feeling too bad. I woke up after a pretty sweaty night and took vitamins, Tyrosine, and an herbal mood enhancer. I wasn't taking too many pills but definitely enough to feel the detox. I was taking 4 10 mg hydrocodone a day. I am about to take a hot shower and head to school. I'm very lucky that they only thing I have to do right now is go to school for 6 hours, I took the next 2 weeks off from work to do last minute planning and details for the wedding.

If anyone has any advice or support I would love to hear it, I'm needing it desperately right now. No one knows about this and I feel like I can't tell many people what is really going on =(

[Iwantanewlifenow]

Hope all  is OK..Be very grateful your docs didn't increase your dosage.....Keep active..Exercise definitely helps...Releases all those Endorphins that are hi-jacked brains forgot how to make and stopped making while takinf the pills...Decaffeinated Green tea work wonders..It hads L-Theanine..A calming Amino.....Keep in touch....

[atthebeach]

i hope and pray all is well with you.

[atthebeach]

please let me know how you are doing.......

[atthebeach]

hey hun how are you feelig?

[atthebeach]

patience is very important. there is no quick fix. it took years to get to this point and it will take a few months to be "normal" again-. pre-drug. time will heal your mind,body,soul,and spirit. but it will take time dont worry past today, step by step, day by day.  KEEP MOVING

[atthebeach]

hey hun hang in there. some days will be better than others. have you been drinking enough fluids? have you been eating? exercising still? did you buy valerian root,melatonin,sleepy time tea. these will help with the anxiety and possibly give you some rest.did you buy the hylands restless leg. keep on keeping on. so proud that you told your finance, that was a tremendous step and took alot of pressure off you. use the immodium. try not to stress about sleeping. just try to relax, watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, take a bath, watch tv.... definitely go back to the aa meetings, they were good for you. you know they also have na. wherever you feel comfortable and they are working the 12 steps. your honeymoon sounds beautiful good for you. you are going into your married life with a clean heart, mind, soul and body. what is the date?
sending hugs and blessings
debbie

[amarw]

Why do I feel worse on day 4? Is it the insomnia? I haven't had any stomach issues up until this point and now I feel like its day 1 again with the legs and anxiety. I think me wanting this to be over is making it worse and my impatience isn't helping.

[amarw]

Looks like I am about 40 hours in...feeling a little worse today. Didn't sleep well last night, even with Ambien! Woke up this morning and took my vitamins and tyrosine. I am going to attend AA meetings. I was very active in AA about 6 years ago and it was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I have to go to school today from 10-3 since I am missing the last 2 days of class due to the wedding. I went yesterday but had to leave after a few hours. The heat and the stress of the kitchen wore me down pretty quickly. I did go for a bike ride yesterday which helped extremely!! ATthebeach, thanks for the wonderful advice on telling my fiance, it makes this a hell of a lot easier!! We are going to Ireland and England for 9 days for our honeymoon!!! Super excited =) I don't see how people just sleep through this, I tried that yesterday and I was so ancy and anxious that I HAD to be up moving, regardless of how bad I felt. Today might be a different story since I am feeling a little worse. I really havent had a ton of stomach problems, only occasional cramping? I really think I will start feeling better by tomorrow.

[atthebeach]

that a girl. good job. how did he react? "oh i already knew"?  now that you took care of that you can take care of detoxing and staying clean.how are you feeling? it is about 29 hrs.  do you have the supplies you need.
you are still going to school? how did it go today? will you work tomorrow? make sure you keep moving, drink, take baths or showers, immodium, bananas or hylands for your legs. i hope you feel better within a couple days. you have a wedding to finish preparing for.
now what will you do different to be a recovering addict and not an active one? did you do any counseling, na/aa, church, therapists? where are you going on your honeymoon?
sending you blessings and hugs
debbie

[amarw]

I couldn't keep it from him, I told him about 45 minutes ago and of course, you are right, he knew...I do feel a lot better about that but my body still doesn't!!!

I have a wonderful soon to be husband who would never ever judge me and will always stand by me, I am extremely lucky to have him!

[atthebeach]

welcome back i saw you post from a couple months ago.
, your finance and soon to be spouse doesnt know about your addiction???? not a good idea at all to go into a marriage with secrets. trust is a major thing in marriage and if you dont come clean now and he finds out later there will be alot of explaining to do. most likely he knows anyway. or has some idea. believe me not so good at hiding it as you think.
please pray about it. honesty is the best policy.

debbie

[amarw]

Ok so it's now 24 hours in and I'm still feeling "ok." not great but i'm ok. I think I am going to jump on my bike and go for a ride tonight. When can I expect to start feeling really bad. Should it have already hit or will tomorrow be worse?????

[thisisreallygettingold]

Congrats on wanting to quit. It is very hard to do, but you should come clean to him. Family support is very important , it will give you strength , its like a huge weight off your chest. You can do this. Congrats on getting married also, there enough time to feel better by that date. God bless