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hydrocodone withdrawl symptoms

I have been on hydrocodone for a year and a half,my brother was killed in iraq may-29-09 i had no one to turn to when everything was going on and i got sick one day and sombody said take this it will make you feel better,and it did.until i had the need to take more and more,now i take 4-6 hydrocodone 10's JUST to wake up because im so dependant and sick,this could be a really long story so ill just cut to the chace im tired of telling my story,i do have ptsd and depression and take xanax for it 3 times a day...i dont abuse it the need for the hydrocodone in my body is worse than me wanting to calm down and just take my medicne,now here i am a full blown addict ive ruined my life and im almost to the point of loseing my husband because hes so scared of loseing me,im on my first day of detox and i know this is going to be really bad,but i think to myself "if my brother can endure all of that pain to keep me safe and alive then i can do it to" im just so scared and i have been without and had severe withdrawl symptoms but something always popped up after a day so i didnt get any sicker ive experenced the vomiting the hot and cold flashes the sweats restlessness pain in my bones to the point of i feel like there coming apart.but now,that ive hit bottom it just passed my brothers 2 year anniversary and it was BAD i still burst into tears just thinking about him,or seeing pictures thru the house,my husband is the only prson that has stuck with me through all of this except when he has to check every hour at night to make sure im breathing,so i give up i prayed and prayed for god to give me an awnser and please help me,i just need to know how long does the pain stay?im not worried at all ab the wanting them im just scared of the ride thats ab to happen bc ive never completly came off of them not when ive been taking 4-6 10's  every morning just to wake up.does anyone have anything that helped or comforted them through a time like this and i know alot of people really dont know unless theyve been there,ive been to hell and back and im tired of hurting having to pop pills just to get up out of bed,it didnt get really bad until i broke my ankle in 4 places a.b a year ago and thats when i got dependant i couldnt move i was in bed ALL the time i couldnt walk with crutches i couldnt do ne thing...so i just started takeing them everyday and now im up to this super high dosage who knows how many i take thru the day because i dont even count after i wake up.i just dont know but if theres anyone out there that could give me some advise please i would greatly appriciate it.
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Avatar universal
All is good in Kansas.
  Brothers are True Heroes because they were made by God, not because they were afraid and sweating and killing and dying in Iraq.
Just to help you get on tracks.
    Please do not talk freedom here, except from opioids.
That substance is the only conquerer that's ever gotten into your country. You know about this war, and I guess it is burning homes in its way too like ordinary war
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
what a great comment, thanks
  What I've been thinking about, is the crucial moment the passion you have finds its way to your day. Like, I've always wanted to build or sculpt things from wood. Summer cabins, carages. I'm professionally a graphic designer and I write songs. The happiest, most sizzling sweat I ever get is to get a tune and rhyme right, and write it up.
Now this moment, clueless after detox, cold turkey, you really don't have the highest amount of resolve to pick up the guitar after morning jog.
   What if it ends up in tears, the first try? After all that reward fantasy about giving yourself to something on the planet, something that takes you away...
I mean, this sounds a little thing, but is of crucial importance to me.
  I've cried so much that the tears after the first episode of trying to get a high from music and writing and ending up looking at a rusted empty planet-size barrel...  
  People say after the rough 3-6 days you have tons of energy. My fear is that it's not going to show up to me. I'm an ex-athlete, my jogs are just a routine. I don't believe in getting this energy out of nowhere after a week of detox from Tramadol, not even a powerful opioid.
    
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Avatar universal
that comment really touched my heart and maybe,u found my post for a reason,all this is really still fresh and new for me i mean the pain of loseing him even tho a few days ago we went through his 2nd year of being gone...rite after that he came to me in a dream.Thats when i started this,i have seen some very bad things i was NEVER supposed to see.My poor baby brother on an autopsy table unreconizable from being hit with and ied while driveing his humv,this is what haunts me im not even sup to dream i take meds to stop them because i see that picture in my head everyday...but today is day 4!!!dosent seem like alot to most but it means SO much to me and my husband has me tapered down to 2 a day,mind u im still VERY sick and yes the feeling of oh god am i gonna survive when the pain and sickness comes sometimes its unbareable but my husband keeps re assureang me that this will all be over soon and im going to feel so much better now that im on day 4 its easier to belive even tho i know there is some hard days ahead still...its evil.please pray for me and i really do appriciate all of the comments and sories and encouragement in the time i need them most...
Helpful - 0
1047946 tn?1332608029
So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my older sister a few years back so I know how difficult it can be to lose a sibling. It does get a little easier with time although it is never easy.

I did two tours in Iraq while serving in the Marine Corps. I lost some great friends over there and I too often wonder why it couldn't of been me instead. I do know that God has a plan for everyone. No matter how much we question it His plan isn't going to change.  I hope you can find peace i knowing that your brother passed doing what he loved and what he believed in. He gave the ultimate sacrifice fighting for our freedom and for the freedom of others. Because of your brother the Iraqi people are no longer under control by a evil man.He gave his life to make the lives of others more peaceful. He left a great footprint in this world and his sacrifice will never be forgotten. He is a True Hero.

Now you keep fighting, not only for you brother, but more importantly for you. I know that because of what you're doing he is looking down on you smiling.

I hope that you can find peace.

If you need to talk I'm here for you.

Hang in there.




Brian
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We know what it's like to take a handful of pills just to get the day started.  You CAN DO THIS.  I just started posting a little while ago, just when I thought I cannot CANNOT stand it anymore (Day 3).  You know what, it's already (crossing my fingers) getting better.  I actually did a load of laundry and went and sat outside with some neighbors.  The times of decent feelings come and go, suddenly I think I'm so sick and so exhausted I'll die where I'm standing, and then in a bit, I think "I don't know . . .maybe I'll survive after all."

HANG IN THERE!  IT WILL BE SOOOOOOOO WORTH IT!!!
Helpful - 0
1641357 tn?1470495393
:) Anytime!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you so much and yes i tell him thank you every chance i get =]
Helpful - 0
1641357 tn?1470495393
I'm glad that you are staying positive!  You WILL get through this, and yes, it might be he ll but it will be worth it for sure in the end! I'm so glad that you have your husband there to help you.  Make sure he understands how much he means to you, as I'm sure you already tell him.  It's really hard for us to see the ones we love go through this!!  Keep your head up and smile :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for all the encouragement enstead of put downs i havent been able to even get on the computer to type and to tell u the truth its still really fn hard.i do go to the VA for counseling and i have a community of oher siblings of fallen soilders that i talk to and learn from ive even been 2 texas 2 times on my brothers army base with them.it helped greatly...but then u come home and see ur soilder on the wall and ur left back in the mind frame of why not me?that was my main problem...i didnt want to feel the pain ne more and in the end it ended up makeing it worse im actually doing fairly good for the amount that i was takeing i think probably 20 hydro tens a day but sometimes id have oxycodone,roxy...in high amounts yhe hydros only held me over until the bigger supply of the roxy came in.My husband has helped me so much,i have tapered and YES!it hurts so bad worst phisical pain ive ever been in literally but ive took 5 10's in 3 days and yes the doses are spaced out by my husband...the first day i took a 7.5h and a half to keep me from vomiting,took my anxiety meds (xanax,ambien) at night ive been sleeping really late and sweating alot!my bones still hurt,i still dont feel rite but still i DONT want to turn around,This is day 3 for me....and i think ive tapered WAY down and i only have 10 to taper off of witch is y im saveing them i dont hold them tho when those are gone i go down to darvocet the phisical is way worse than the mental for me because i have the drive to quit for the better for my family not to have to lose another child..(im the oldest) my little sister is 16,my brother would be 22,im 26....to stay with my husband that has stood by my countless attempts to "ease" the pain,and for my brother that DIED so that i can sleep at night...im staying positive thru the shakes the cold sweats hot spells my bones feel like there going to come out of my skin and the constand cold chills i keep.b.c im sure my brother went thru more hell than me and if he can do it i can.that was one of my last promises to him was to stay strong,keep your head up,and never fall back down.so im trying to stay true to who i know i can be enstead of who theese pills have made me to be ive always been stong and im at the weakest point in my life.i just hope this dosent last to much longer...its a hard thing to do the hardest...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
"ive experenced the vomiting the hot and cold flashes the sweats restlessness pain in my bones to the point of i feel like there coming apart"
hey don't worry! sounds like you have experienced first hand what detox is like- just like that except no rescue suddenly happens in pill form, you get better gradually and naturally instead. only thing you might not have experienced yet in your short between Rx's times was the no sleep night after night thing- that can be rough for some people (personally it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as the stomach issues whenever i've detoxed. even with the Imodium help my insides want to be my outsides, ugh). but really DO NOT BE AFRAID, fear is the enemy that keeps an addict prisoner of their drug. you do indeed know what it is gonna be like for you. okay? yeah, i know, trust me, i know, it s*cks big time, cannot lie it really really s*cks- but it does not last long in the grand scheme of things and you can do it. and you're not alone read any of so many threads here of people going through withdrawals right this second and surviving.
i'm more concerned about aftercare for you than the actual physical detox. have you had any grief counseling? please look into that okay? seeking professional help times in our lives that we need it is a sign of clarity not weakness. a good  therapist that specializes in grief and/or addiction could help you so much. the issues that made you seek relief i pills will all come flooding back full force once the pills are removed so set this up before you start your detox, k? it would be beyond silly to go through all the physical pain of detox just to relapse when that is done- ya would think that would be such an obvious thing that no one would ever do it or i would even need to post that yet it happens more often than not. (this is where the non-addict looks at us like we've lost our minds 'are ya kidding? you went through all that sickness and went back to the pills when it was OVER and you were feeling good physically?' see they don't know anything about all the mental/emotional past of addiction). so please get your aftercare recovery part of this set up so that the detox is not for naught.
good luck! and keep posting, we'll be here to help you through it.
~mebroken
ps. if you want to read a good thread that lets you know every last possible detox symptom you might possibly have read HarperOC's thread. she describes it in detail. and is surviving and getting through it. so can you.
Helpful - 0
1641357 tn?1470495393
Hey!  You're definitely in the right place that's for sure!  My husband was addicted to hydrocodone for EIGHT years!  At the end he was taking 20-30 '10s' a day!!!  So your situation is completely doable!!!  He would pop 8-10 at a time sometimes!  When was the last time that you took them? Try to think about approximately how many you take during the day, cause it will be easier for us to help you if we know.  Are you planning on going CT or trying to taper down?? Keep your head up, you can do this and WILL do this!!!  You just have to keep going and don't give in.  It's not worth losing your husband and everything else that you have.  When you think you've hit rock bottom, remember there's still a really long way you can go and you don't want to go down that road, stop while you can and spare yourself a lot of bad times!!!  You're doing the right thing!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I could of wrote your story, my huband died very sudenly and then 4 months later my brother died. I could not even think straight and I also broke my ankle and had two surgery's on it. I had to use a wheel chair and stayed in bed for almost 9 months between the first surgery and the second. I was put on vicoden and then I got shingles on my siatic nerve and they uped my vicoden and then 4 & 1/2 years later I was always watchng the clock to see if it was time to take my pill. I decide I was not going to live that way and on March 17th I quit CT and made it 28 days and had a slip but got right back on the right track and it had been 35 days now. My brother and I was really close and we lived just two houses away from each other. I have had two sons die and when my husband died and my brother it was just to much to handle. But I am determined to get off vicoden and stay off them. So stay with it, and you have a family so it will be worth it.
As far as the wds I had 8 dys that felt like I had the flu and it took about 3 weeks before I felt  like I was going to be okay, I had little energy and sleep was the worst I am still having trouble sleeping but getting better. That is my story but everybodys wds are different some people only suffer for 3or 4 days and then they are back at work and feeling okay. So good luck and prayers to you, B
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