Aa
False Hope seemed fitting...
Hello....well, I can not believe this has happened....I..am..addicted...to..painkillers... Granted, I take a very small dose but, I feel like it's only going to get worse. I take 3 7.5 hydro a day, I know, it's small but the withdrawal is very real all the same! It started as 1/2 a day about 2 years ago, now at 3 a day. I know it's so small compared to where some of you are but I am scared none the less...I want these monsters out of my life!! I am so ashamed and angry with myself...I had started to taper, was down to half a pill a day. Refilled and am back up to 3...stupid. so very very stupid...No one knows, I have an amazing family but am to ashamed to tell them...took 1/2 this morning so, I'm starting my taper over. Saying it out loud is humiliating. I was hoping to find just one voice of help and Support and maybe do the same for someone else...false hope seemed fitting, that's all these pills are, false hope and false happiness.
Best Answer
It's all subjective, your guilt and shame are not different than anyone elses. The fake life and distant personality gets worse and worse physically, but addiction is addiction. Luckily, you are not in so deep yet, but you are able to see that you will keep going deeper until you stop. I bet you could pull the ole, "I got the flu" trick and be done with most of it in a week. The physical should not be too bad, but like I said, addiction is addiction. Your cravings and illogical form of insanity is just the same as any other. I definitely suggest meetings, addiction counseling, talk to a religious leader, but get this burden off your back. By admitting it, we make it very real. If you relapse in solitude, the guilt and shame still come, but when you made the right decision and your family and support system are rooting for you, the guilt and shame and magnified infinitely. Set yourself up for success, surrender to it. I was totally surprised how receptive people were as I began to talk about it. Most had been through it or have a family member who has. The drug wants you to isolate, so you don't know how much better real life is. Keep doing what is right and it will feel right eventually. No more fake life and happiness, nothing satisfies like the real deal.
104 hours clean! I almost feel human again! Low energy, few aches and pains but? SOOOO HAPPY I DID THIS! I hope the rls retires itself soon but, that seems to be the worst if it, and its only at night so, can't complain... I went to work everyday through this hell and it made this so much easier....state ty d as busy as possible. In the evenings some light house work...this evening I went grocery shpopping and cleaned out my car... ahhhh.
Not yet, just trying to get through this first week! And thanks! I will deal with the long term soon but, that is something to think about!
Wooohooo!
You go girl! Congrats on taking these positive steps to reclaiming your life from the pills. And you did it before sh*t got out of hand which is very admirable. Have you given any thought to aftercare?
Proud of you...
Lu
You go girl! Congrats on taking these positive steps to reclaiming your life from the pills. And you did it before sh*t got out of hand which is very admirable. Have you given any thought to aftercare?
Proud of you...
Lu
I finally did it! 3 days clean.....for the first time in what feels like forever....no cravings...I hate them soooo much. Sick as helll but happy!! First and second nights were the worst...rls about made me go crazy. I flushed my last pill on the second night just to prove to myself I.can. do. This!! Thomas recipe is soooo helpful! Potassium is a must! I feel free.....even the withdrawal is worth it!
My head hurts pretty bad.....Thanks so much, really really needed some positive reinforcement!
Please re-read Weaver's post.
Weaver Rocks! Guilt and shame and regret have the power to either keep us using or motivate us to stop. As you can clearly see, on this forum, one of these is wiped away quickly for you. There is no shame here. You can and will do this Hope. God Bless.
Hi Positivehope! Can't add much to whats said above, but want you to know that you are WAY ahead of the game here, if you use your intuition, conscious and education on these meds to get you out before you get in really deep. Seems like you are. You've weaned once and did well right? Do it again minus the refill and your good to go (cept the cravings/mind screws/ etc). If your taking these pills for just a buzz or escape you may need to explore a deeper well here. In any case YAY you for reaching out. Rooting for ya, Keep posting. xx
Hi there and welcome to the forum~
The fact that you realize the hold these pills have on you NOW is saying a lot! It's best not to compare ourselves to others and "how much" or "what" was used....what IS important is recognizing what they do to you when you DO take them. You can already see that picking up that refill has backfired on you....they have you feeling ashamed and keeping your use a secret.
The good news is that you recognize it NOW....and you are already being proactive wanting to do something about it. The first thing I personally would do would be to tell my dr (your source) that you would like to taper down and get completely off these pills. If you want your dr's assistance with a taper plan, you can ask for help. Otherwise, if you feel you are able to dose yourself thru a taper....you can form a taper plan yourself. The tricky thing for some of us is that we cannot taper/dose ourselves without going up on our dose or taking more than the taper plan we agreed to.
By keeping your addiction a secret, you rob yourself of the love and support you might otherwise receive. It's something to think about anyway. Glad you're here....let us know how you're doing and how we can help you~
The fact that you realize the hold these pills have on you NOW is saying a lot! It's best not to compare ourselves to others and "how much" or "what" was used....what IS important is recognizing what they do to you when you DO take them. You can already see that picking up that refill has backfired on you....they have you feeling ashamed and keeping your use a secret.
The good news is that you recognize it NOW....and you are already being proactive wanting to do something about it. The first thing I personally would do would be to tell my dr (your source) that you would like to taper down and get completely off these pills. If you want your dr's assistance with a taper plan, you can ask for help. Otherwise, if you feel you are able to dose yourself thru a taper....you can form a taper plan yourself. The tricky thing for some of us is that we cannot taper/dose ourselves without going up on our dose or taking more than the taper plan we agreed to.
By keeping your addiction a secret, you rob yourself of the love and support you might otherwise receive. It's something to think about anyway. Glad you're here....let us know how you're doing and how we can help you~
Hi and welcome to the forum! So you did it! You said it out loud! That is the very first step in getting clean. So kudos to you. Step one done. I don't know your medical circumstances, but I can tell you that for me and many of us tapering is just too hard! Because when things get tough and there are pills or scripts in the house, well you know what happens. If you're medically stable, you are on a low enough dose already to just jump. Don't be afraid. We are all here to support you through it. In a week it will have mostly passed. Its very similar to the flu. Do it baby! You can do it!
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