Update

[mellie4]

Thanks to everyone who helped me last week when I cut my oxycodone out and took a big jump down on my Fentanyl patch and ended up in pretty bad withdrawals.  I really re-evaluated my pain management protocol and had an appointment on Monday with my doctor.  Last week she had suggested methadone as a way to control the pain.  She just wasn't understanding what I was saying when I kept telling her I wanted to come off the meds.  I was just on too many at too high a dose and it still wasn't managing my pain effectively.  When I called her and told her I had quit the oxycodone completely (right after she took me from 75 mcg. fentanyl to 50,) and I was in pretty bad withdrawals, she started to listen.

On Monday, we had a long talk and I told her I need to get to zero meds in order to re-evaluate my pain.  Because of the number of responsibilities I have, I definitely cannot handle withdrawals.  So we've decided to taper down one medication at a time starting with the Fentanyl.  She dropped it again, this time to 37 mcgl  She wants me to keep the oxycodone where it is, which is 60 mg every four hours, but I think that's too much; so I've gone to 30 mg.  about 3 times a day.  I still have some slight withdrawals with this but it's manageable.  My stomach is a little upset and I'm a little emotional ... cry more easily than normal (and I'm a crybaby to begin with!)

I am sooo happy I didn't go the methadone route.  That would not have been the right choice for me.  I check in with her next week to let her know how things are going.  If I'm stable on this, we'll cut the Fentanyl to 25 mcg.  My pain is definitely escalating but from what I've researched that's to be expected.  At some point my pain will reset itself and I'll know what my pain level really is.

My goal is to use primarily OTC medications and comfort measures (like heat, self-massage, etc.) and only to take narcotics during the worst flare-ups.  I don't want to be on a schedule with these medications.  I can already feel my head starting to think a little more clearly.  I've had a little more motivation and I'm starting to feel me coming back.

I've got a ways to go.  I'm fortunate that I'm only battling the physical dependence of this but it's still hard.

For those of you starting out for whatever the reason, use this board and listen to those who have succeeded.  You'll get great advice and support.  THANKS again to every single one of you who posted and sent messages.  You helped in keeping me focused when talking to my doctor about what was right for me.

[dominosarah]

I agree with vicki....you dont have to rush this.  Many of us found our pain actually got better after we were off the meds.  Hopefully that will be you also.  Rebound pain is no fun but it will get better.  Thank god your doctor is listening to you now.  Keep us posted on how you are doing~~~~sara

[vicki595]

I'm glad she started to listen to you!!

Listen,you don't have to be in a big hurry to do this,okay? You cut that 60mg dose in half!!
Ouch!!  Stay the course and go slowly...you'll get there but you don't have to be miserable in the process.

Stay in touch!

[sudie58]

i am really so glad to read that your getting there, and keeping so positive, thats half the battle, its good your dr. finally listened to you! sometimes its like banging your head against a wall.
in my opinion i also think its good you didnt go on the methadone, i am sure you made the right choice for you,  take care and let us know how you go, god bless,   sudie