life looks like a black and white tv when sober

[Mac1234]

how can i get the color back into my tv without using opiets everyday little things interest me and i have a wounderful wife and two kids a rational thinking person would say i have a nice life the american dream but at times it seems like a nightmare i know deep down inside i love my family but i dont show it the drugs wont let me i know my wife is getting fed up ive cut down my drug intake alot in the last few months but im looking for a stop sign not a slow down sign sometimes i think my bottom is death itself because it seems like i have a high tolorance for pain any advice is welcomed please help me im looking for a new life for a complicated person

[dominosarah]

I wish you all the best as you enter treatment on Monday.  There is a life just waiting for you to join it.  Do this for you.  Using is just a symptom of our addiction.  Dig deep within yourself this time and get into a good recovery care program after treatment is over.  You are worth it!!!            sara

[freedom007]

Been abusing drugs and alcohol for 20 years...51 days sober and my life is more "colorful" now than it has ever been.  Give it a chance...it takes time.

Keep fighting

[Mac1234]

im going to treatment monday for the seventh time the pain is just to intence im shooting craps on every roll,and this life is starting to lose its meaning.I pray that i can keep it simple this time and not analize everything like im Sigmon Froyed.Ive learned through out this battle with addiction i could turn and illrational thought rational in the blink of an eye.I use to feel i was cursed and complained why me, but now i feel why not me what makes me so special and unique to dodge gods mission for me.I try not to question anything anymore i just want to get better. God bless all of you guys because you all are heaven sent.My thinkingis really getting better i just need consistancy. Thats what i hope i can get this time around because im always my worst enemy.

[MissLG102783]

I have the same problem, and used the same way to describe it... the whole "black and white thing". Like is just painful when sober, I know exactly what you mean. I had a really bad addiction to oxy's for about 4 years (lets face it, I still do) and I was going through about 30 30mg Roxycodones a day. It was a nightmare. My doctor put me on Suboxone, and it really really helps. You dont get that "black and white feeling" and I dont advise it but it helps you even just cut down your use a great deal w/out feeling like such ****. Thats what I did in the beginning before I felt ready to stop all together... I would take the suboxone and only use on weekends (I am NOT recommending this, obviously this is not what it is meant for) but I'm being honest with you... I know its hard. Its the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. Once you experience how good life feels on these pills its almost impossible to stop using them cold turkey. You need to try either Suboxone on Methadone (but I wouldnt recomment the Methadone only cuz they usually wont give you it unless you were shooting heroin). Look up an addiction specialist in your area and find one who prescribes Suboxone, thats the best advise I can give to you for getting your life back.

[refusingbondage]

Hey Mac. That is definitely your addiction talking.  It will tell us exactly what we want to hear and make us feel however it needs us to feel to preserve itself.  It takes a long time to recover from using.  Espeically with opiates.  BUT I can definitely tell you that happiness, and the true feeling of being alive does return with sobriety.  Just not right away.  Even then, EVERYONE has good and bad days.  Addicts do.  Non-addicts do.  Life is not perfect for anyone.  We as addicts just like the haze of an opiate high to deal with it.  What you see as color will look flat and gray once you've seen and truly felt sobriety.  I have so many ups and downs, I cannot count how many.  But the one thing I carry with me every single day (before, during and after any relapse I may have) is how amazingly good I felt during the clean times (after withdrawal and P.A.W.S. of course).  Give it a try.  Be smarter than this addiction.  Seek out some therapy.  Best of luck.