looking for a start

[forgodonlyknows]

I'm 27 yr old adult male wanting to quit alcohol and marijuana been drinking and smoking for 10yrs
8 of wich were and still have been consecutive yrs of daily abuse. My wife finally gave me a ultimatum and I'm
Finally just sick of this cloud in front of me daily . Please what is the first move I should make detox, counseling, any feed back would help .  

[forgodonlyknows]

Thank you so much I just needed another view point I come from a family of alcohol addicts my father is in so deep , I have a great wife and home life
But I'm stuck in the cloud of smoke my wife says I use it to not feel anything n I never thought it to be until a couple days ago I just lept into it so bad n I could see thr hurt in her eyes she said she diddnt know me the real me I had always had drugs n beer around us , for most of our courtship and marriage she will not have children w me until I'm well and if not she is gone I do not blame her she has seen my home life and doesn't want to be my mother at h er age going thru the same . I will keep my journal updated and would appreciate feedback I will be seeking help.

[atthebeach]

yes it is definitely self medicating. my son had taken different meds during his use, adderol,depakote,stratera, he was first diagnosed with add then they changed his diagnosis. after he quit smoking pot he was still very anxious, always fearful, lots of ocd,afraid of bridges, afraid to fly, didnt drive afraid, he went to counseling, they gave him paxil he held on to that bottle for months and months and never took it. he was afraid of the side effects, after many conversations i convinced him to just try them. he has now been on them for 6 months, he is soooooo much better. now he drives,stopped washing his hands a hundred times a day, stopped taking 10 showers, he is much much calmer.
go see a psychiatrist, you could very well need to be put on some mood stablizers.
love your screen name. yes HE does know all.
debbie

[addict3]

Sometimes folks drink and smoke and take pills etc. just to subconsciously avoid an underlying problem and are completely unaware why we do this.

Go to any AA meeting. Sit and listen. During breaks or after the meeting talk to people there who are clean, ask them what they did to get straight....they will be more than happy to help. Maybe seek the assistance of a caring Dr. to help you detox from the booze. Try finding a good Dr. through the net, phone book, AA, NA, local churches, call your local law enforcement folks....they will help you and you can be anonymous if you need to.

If you really want help...it is out there...all you need to do is genuinely ask a few people and I assure you, you will get all you need.

[Bubulous]

My situation was similar.  I agree with atthebeach and think that she was on the right track.  I cannot diagnose you although I have a pretty good idea what the problem is.

You will likely always need medication.  It may be something you have to except, however marijuana and alcohol are not the ones you need to be on.  If you want to save your marraige start the therapy and talk to a psychiatrist as well.  I hate to say it but in your case.  This forum will help but not fix your problem.

Marijuana is addictive to those with mental problems.  It along with all other extremely mind altering substances will seem useless once you get on the right medicine.  Don't get me wrong recovery is difficult and you will have to go in with an open mind and do the hard work but it can be a life changing experience for you and your wife.....I am bipolar type 1, but there are many mental disorders not as severe but still devestating.  Please seek help.  I should have done it earlier and sometimes wish I had of.

Good Luck and welcome to the forum, keep us posted but seek help please....Bubulous

[atthebeach]

hi and welcome to MH. i also read your journal post. addiction is chains and bondage. it is all consuming. i understand the frustation that you both are feeling. i am the wife of a recovering addict (16 months) and my oldest son 25 also used for many years.started when he was 14. my son was a 24/7 pot smoker ,always walked around with a joint in his mouth. he became very depressed, paranoid,no motivation at all, during this time he was diagonsed with bipolar, he was having depression then extreme agitation.he also was drinking alot, were he was vomiting very regularly. he was stuck in a rut.
have you been to counseling? i would highly recommend it. you can go to one on one,with a therapist,addiction specialist,psychologist and also support groups,na/aa.church.  my son one day decided he had enough , by the grace of GOD he stopped smoking pot, 21 months ago. he has now kept a job for 16 months longest ever. you should start a good exercise program, throw your pot away, there is always a controversy if pot is addicting to not. well if it is ruining and running your life it is an addiction. there is hope my friend, as long as you have breathe.
how much are you drinking? drinking is more of a detox than the pot.
praying for you,
debbie