Question about my upcoming hardship?

[ajrodr2003]

Ok, here is the scoop. I have been taking opiates on/off for about 2yrs. My longest time taking it at least everyday, was 6months. That withdrawl was hell. Anyway, I got through that, then relapsed. Quit, relapsed. And again, here I am. I just took my last perc 10. I was given a presc for 120 on June 25th. I am out tonight, 22 days later. My question is, how rough of a ride should expect? Bigger problem I think, is that I can't stop doing this ridiculous cycle. If you look up the definition of stupid, my picture is next to it.

A little background why I take the drugs. I have a pinched nerve in my neck from the military. I currently do not have insurance. But when I did I would post-pone and put-off having the surgery I needed for it. Weird huh, I could have done it, and didn't, but now I want to and can't. Another brilliant move. Anyway, so I went to my doctor, and to be completely honest, I was completely ignorant of what opiates/pain killers were. So, I told my doc about the issues I'd been having. He said alright, lets do an MRI. As I was walking out of the office, he said, oh hey do you want some pills for the pain? I said sure. I thought it was like any other medicine. I had no clue it was such a monster of a medicine. Well, I know the reason I've chosen to abuse them is because I was abused by my Father for about 10yrs as a child. The hole he left, is filled with these pills. I know you all know what I'm speaking of. So my question is, how do I get past that? I'm a single father. I love my 8yr old son more than anything. He is the greatest gift God has ever given me.

Any thoughts from anyone will be appreciated.

[ajrodr2003]

I was only using for 22days. Not that long really....

[gnarly_1]

HI first off thanks for serving....you have found out what many of us have its not that hard to get off the pils but rather it is to stay off the pills the only soloution that works for me has been the roms of N/A they will teach you how to live in recovery with recovery you can overcome this disease so stick around let us help you threw your detox then get pluged into recovery you wont regret it good luck and God bless.........Gnarly

[ajrodr2003]

Thanks for the help. I believe I can make it through the days ahead. I'm just scared of falling back into the snare.

How long were you using 60mg a day?

[On2better]

Well I don't know your dose, which will determine the severity of w/d,  but I can tell you a little about my experiences over the last week of hydro withdrawals (60 mg/day). Day 1 was lethargic, craving, mild jitters and sweats. Day 2 anxiety, jitters, sweats but still made it out of the house to do some shopping and take my kids to a movie. Day 3 more severe sweats/chills and the abdominal cramps/diarrhea started. Day 4 was the worst. All of the above symptoms plus the anxiety of trying to meet with friends for a girls night. I left early then cried quite a bit that night.  Day 5- Brand new woman! Went to the mountains with my family, had some cravings, mild sweats, definitely felt over the hump. And I had my first normal poop. Lol don't underestimate the greatness of that!  Day 6, today, now Im starting to feel better!! Went to work, socialization was fine. Came home, cleaned, had dinner with my family, felt normal, happy, and in control! That didn't take long at all ;) You have to experience the bad, but I promise there is a rainbow waiting for you at the end of the storm. Probably a special moment shared with your son in pure mental clarity enjoying feelings of happiness as its meant to be experienced.

[Free2agoodhome]

Pat makes an excellent point.....Healing I mean with trained a professional for deeper long lasting issues.....

[Free2agoodhome]

You may just be right about the issue from the past. I did a similar thing with an emotional heartache issue...... Mostly I wanted not to feel .....I was treating emotional pain with meds,,,,and sadly i knew it,,,,

When I detoxed i sat with those feelings..sounds awful but I needed to...so i could start healing naturally,,,no meds.....

when the pain of using becomes too much . you will stop...

if you're ready we support you 100 %

Free~

[Pat1956100]

Your cycle sounds like that of many people who suffer from addiction.  There prescription runs out, detox, get more, runs out etc.
You definitely need counseling to deal with your childhood issues. That is something that needs to be addressed asap.  You have to realize that this is not YOUR fault.  
You are in my prayers.  Please keep posting.