me again

[singha]

I have been coming here as a member for a year now. I relapsed in October after staying clean for 3 months. This damn Ultram is to easy to get so it is harder to kick. I have been taking them for 12 years now. I don't get a high I get things done. Well this saturday I will again attempt the wd's and try to stay with it. I got married 2 weeks ago and just got back from my honeymoon. I have been putting it off till after that so now it has to be done. I unfortunately know what to expect and I am scared to frickin death. The only thing that got me through the last 2 times was this forum so I am sorry but I am counting on all of you. I will do my best o return the favor.

[singha]

Tapering has never helped me in the past it just prolonged the discomfort for me. I have found that ct is the way to when it comes to having children and a job and already being spread to thin. I went back on the Ultram in the summer because I was so stressed out from the wedding and everything that my dr put me on Effexor er. That stuff makes you soooooo tired when you start it so I started taking the Ultram to make up for the sleepiness. Now I am hooked on both and need to get rid of the larger demon first. I just turned 36 on my wedding day. It was my second marriage. I have 3 children from my first and one from this one. 12 years ago I needed something to stop the pain of my periods but I told my dr I didn't want anything addictive because alcoholism is in my family. He gave me a new drug out called Ultram that is "NON NARCOTIC" well here I am 12 years later and he still prescribes them for me. I only take 4 a day but doesn't he realize that I am only supposed to be taking them for my period?????but for 12 years I get it filled once a week no questions asked. I am not going to call this week for a refill......I am going to try to claim my life back. (easy said when you are not going through the wd's yet) Nights will be the worst but I have done it before.

[beentrying2quit]

Obviously you can do this.  Ask yourself a few questions:
1) Are you a fighter?
2) WIll you master it or will you ALLOW it to master you?

Answer those two questions properly and you will be on your way.  Keep posting...we are here to help.

Get up, look this addiciton right in the eye and GIVE IT THE FINGER!

[newmanagment]

as GTMI said, this time try some aftercare. it is the mental pull of our addiction that causes soo many relapses. NA is a great place, find ameeting that fits you. also, stay on this forum,even after you are clean. helping others will also help you. much love, best of luck , n keep posting...

[CGR76]

Hello and welcome back.
I guess u n I have the old TRAM to kick. I have been tring to kick it for a couple of months now. But like you said, it is fricken hard as heck. I started to take them becouse they helped with the anxiety and stress that I was going through at the time. Now, I still have all those same issues, but I hate the Trams...They make me sick now, and sick of myself being dependant on these pills to keep me happy. I hate chasing around the FED Ex truck when I am all out.
I hope that you can do this and hope that I can be of some help, or maybe we can help each other.

What is ur story, how many r u on now, and what is the most u have taken???
If you dont mind me being nosey...
CGR

[Missy31]

welcome back and please keep posting we are all here to support you, you can do it and stay strong!

[GoingToMakeIt]

You should know that it is bet to taper off of Trams. Seizures can happen.
Now are you going to get aftercare? NA, counseling etc..??