Can someone give me some practical advice?

[danielsdolphins]

by danielsdolphins


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danielsdolphins
Member since Sep 2008  



, Sep 03, 2008 09:50PM
I was married on october 3 of 2007 and I havre a 4 year old great nephew who I have full legal custody of. I knew my husband for about a year before we married and knew he suffered from chronic back pain. I have been great at helping him but since February of 2008 (about 3-4 months after we married) he has become addicted to more oxycotin, he now takes (5) 40 mg pills daily and has also been prescribed 100 1 mg tablets of Xanax per month. In February of this year he passed out at dinner for my birthday at a restaurant with our son in his high chair. before the incident in february he went through a deep depression that leasted from mid Nov to the beginning of Jan. I left him for 4 months and it has happened about 5-6 times since I have been back. This last weekend he took 18-23 Xanax at one time and drove off in his jeep, (this is after he had set himself on fire the night before from Xanax). He wrecked at 94 mph and totalled the truck and he is broken up pretty bad. I picked him up from the hospital and he wanted to go to the wrecker service to get his belongings and apparently found his bottle of Xanax and has been stoned on them since we left the wrecker service. That was two days ago. he has told me that if i tell his doctor I will ruin his life and frankly I am done. I have put our 4 year old through enough with this and everytime i leave he swears he won't do it again. he gets his script filled asks me to hold the medicine and just give him what he needs and through destroys the house looking for them. He say's if they are not around then he does not have to have them but if they are around he cannot help overdosing on them, but he keeps getting them refilled.
My question is?
Should I get him into a pain management center and away from this doctor who keeps prescrbing them to him?
When he set himself on fire he ended up with a third degree burn across his thigh and I had to wake him up because he was burning, needless to say I do not get much sleep because he smokes as well. What I really want to do is just leave and not come back.
Thank you for any sound advice, I am not used to this type of situation and have no experience per say with an addict.
My husband lost his son a couple of years ago and his son was 29 years old. His son had been in alot of trouble had 4 kids and was in jail for not paying some tickets etc..My husband said he had always bailed him out in the past but decided this time to leave him in there for awhile hoping the tough love would help. Well apparently they put another guy in the cell with my husbands son and that guy killed him in the jail cell. he went through grief counseling and belongs to a great church, he had told me he was through it when we met and had even forgiven the guy who killed his son. According to my husbands daughter in law this addiction to Xanax has been going on for about 10-11 years off and on
Thanks again everyone for your advice
Lastly I feel emotionally shut down and disconnected from my husband now. It has been happeneing since we married and I owe sooooooooo much to my four year old great nephew that had a mother on drugs and a father on drugs and my nephew ended up in foster care for several months before i found out he was there. I have adopted him as my own child and he is wonderful and i truly feel that this is damaging him more than myself or my husband even realize. My dedication is to my son first and for most
danielsdolphins

[christos24]

you are doing a great job at hadnling this devastating sitaution you and youre husband are in...you need to continue to stay strong even though it seems like the bad will never end. you also have to realize that your husband is a junky. he is not the person you married. it happened to me and it has happened to millions of helpless people. they come from all walks of life, some super rich living in mansions and some waiting on there welfare check or walking the streets day in and dayout, but its all the same, oxycontin-which is just as strong as heroin i was heavily addicted to both and had no preferance to either, will completely take over your whole entire being and make you a selfish one tracted junky. theres nothing you or anyone else can do to stop it. only the addict him/herself can change that. you can only do so much for him. if hedoes need pain managemant then i would recommend changing doctors ASAP and going into a treatment program. a good treatment center will understand patients who need true pain management and theyll really know how to use it properly so he wont be in discomfort but he wont be nodding off at the dinner table. the xanax, which is a potent benzodiazepine, which i was also heavily addicted too is a very sedating, relaxing drug. it makes you look and act completely drunk. and taking opiates with it only enhances both of them. they equal a recipe for disaster and thats why he has gotten into so many accidents and spills, but you have to understand that it is not youre husband youre dealing with. it s a selfish junky who can only see as far as the next fix he can get. deep down there is love and that old person you married but until he gets professional help that wont show at all, it will be blinded by the junky covering his soul. I was the exact same wayand after treatment, staying clean, i had endless amounts of friends and family i needed to apologize to and repay, but overall i was able to truly enjoy real life, no longer a slave for dope. your husband did not do this on purpose it was with all good intentions but with long term use youre brain actually changes and theres nothing left but the day to day struggle to survive the addiction. put all youre efforts into getting him into a good treatment facility, theres no cost at saving the one you love-christos
ps. if you or youre husband ahve any questions aobut treatment questions or anything at all let me know at anytime, i wish you the best of luck youa re incredibly strong...

[liscamdave]

Wow, Well...you certainly do have your hands full. I will say that. You are not only dealing with addiction, but also depression and grief as well. I know all these very well, Im sad to say.

I lost my husband to Oxy's 2years ago and I still am having trouble getting over it. Your husband needs severe help. Does he even want help? He is most likely drowning himself in his own misery. Its sad. I am so sorry things are so bad. But they can and will get better as long as he wants them too. If not, then I am sorry but it will never end. Hopefully, he knows how bad it is and wants help.

We are here to help in any way.

Lisa

[Cbear62]

I was in a longterm relationship with an oxy/xanax addict. He broke my windshield, had me take him to the ER multiple times so he could lie to get a script. He was terrible! He was finally arrested for Domestic Abuse (me) and he beat up the cop that arrested him too! These men are addicts and you will never be able to compete with the drugs. I learned this the hard way. I stayed b/c I loved him and I believed him when he said he was clean, but he would EAT phentanol patches and take methadone and just go berserk, start throwing **** and being real paranoid about people around. Its a scary ride and you should get off.