Day 6 part deux

[Goblin666]

Hi Everyone,

Had six days, relapsed, and now six days again.  I think I can say that this second six days is better that the first. Slept fairly well once I got to sleep.  Night time is the toughest, can't explain what my body feels like other than it is anxious.  I'm not mentally anxious at night but more body anxious if that makes sense, like every fiber in my body is screaming for something....then comes the severe fatigue and despair and grumpiness towards my loved ones.

More clarity is coming and I am feeling better.  Went to the gym yesterday and going to try to go for a walk today/tonight.  I have quite a bit of school work due and need to tackle that.  Going to go to another meeting wednesday and tonight if I get my school work done.

I've had glimpses of time where I am not constantly thinking about this process.  I can't wait until I am not constantly physically reminded of what I have been putting my body through.  I just want to laugh and be carefree again.  I know it will come and I see the light at the end of the tunnel but it can get so dark sometimes.  

I'll keep posting and I'll keep coming back here.

Goblin

[jugglin]

You are walking through the darkness to get to the light...awesome, isn't it?  You are doing great.  Keep on moving onward and upward!

[Krissy_123]

Good for you,I'm so glad you're hanging in there!! Day 7 today!!! Awesome!! Keep it up man,everyday will get a little better!! xo krissy

[Goblin666]

Hi Acesmom,

I was at my peak (this time) taking 100 Norco 10s and 180 tramadols in varying capacity per month and then whatever else I could find.  I tried to taper a number of times and would always break from feeling so awful and knowing I had a bottle of pills that would make it better for me.

About a year ago I told my doc no more norco and trams but I asked for more trams anouit a month later and have been taking about 100 per month. So I gues you could say that began my taper.  I started this medhelp journey in 2013..... after I got prescribed these meds in 2011 for an injury and became dependent and then addicted.  

So I didnt really have a taper program, never worked for me, I would alwyas take a handful of pills to end the suffering.  CT was the way to go for me.

I had surgery 2 months ago and reintrodced the norcos which was a bad but needed med for me while I recovered.

Read my first ever post and it tells a bit about my story.  Way more involved than just the above and I have along history with this disease.

Feeling good today, I promise you if you hang in there it will get better.  6 days and I feel a gazillion times better thatn day 2 and 3.  You can do it.

Goblin

[acesmom]

Way to go. Sounds like you are on the right track. I am just starting my journey. I'd you don't mind me asking what are you wd from and did you CT or taper

[Danny111]

Good work Goblin.  The meetings will really help.