How to kick it when your all alone?

[reallyneedhelp76]

I have no one who knows my problem and can not tell any one. is it still possible to succeed?

[vicki595]

I'm bumping this up to be sure you read it...

I'm glad you had a decent night...And I know we're all adults and could have a drink BUT
alcohol and Xanax together is a crap shoot; dangerous!!!

Try to keep the pills in an inconvenient place...like the toilet!!  Otherwise they WILL call your name; this addiction stuff is very cunning!

Good luck at the appt.

[ImDONENoMore]

GREAT point vicki about the surgeons - mine were exactly like that.  And they don't mess around with the pain meds either - you get what you need after surgery and ONLY that.  Not one bit more.  So you should be okay.  :)

[vicki595]

Hi...I just got back here and DID see your Pm but I can see that our friends here have been MOST supportive!  Please don't worry. No one said you had to stop cold turkey. A lot of folks taper down to allay the W/D's and with your job that might be better for you.  You just have to be disciplined to do that...I'm sure already that you are....

Get some Immodium...it works great. It IS an opiate!  It just doesn't cross the blood/barrier so you won't get high at all but your symptoms will diminish considerably.  I should say it has opiate properties....

Be honest with the doctor...he'll appreciate that...and ask someone else to be in charge of your post op meds!  You don't have to give a reason. Tell the doctor you have a fear of addiction...he'll understand but if he asks questions,be honest. Basically surgeons don't care anyway. They see you only a couple of times so in their minds they can't hook you.  Don't worry...and stay in touch!!

[reallyneedhelp76]

Thanks so much for your advice.  I agree with you, i'm going to tell him about my issue.  I dont want to take a chance that it will get out of controll.  ANd no i have never doctor shopped, usually only my primary care and then if i had a surgury that doc gave me something. SO that makes me feel alot better.  my anxiety is much better but i did take one pill but i am NOT tired and it is getting late here.  

[ImDONENoMore]

Sheesh - sorry for all of the grammatical errors!!  lol

[ImDONENoMore]

tg's right - one thing at a time - it just doesn't work any other way.  The moment you start thinking about all of it, it becomes overwhelming and then you're more likely to say f*** it and relapse.  And I too agree going from 30 to 1 is fantastic!!  Baby steps here, and slowly you'll get there.  You just have to work at it every day, heck, every minute for now.

And not sure if you're going to agree with me here, but I think you have to be honest with the Dr.  Tell him/her you're concerned about the pain after surgery and that you think you have a "tolerance" issue with the pain meds.  Believe me they will be sure not to give you any more (and I mean not even ONE extra pill) than you truly need.  So again, talk to the Dr. and see what they say.  As long as your honest with yourself about your addiction and your honest with the Dr. you will have a fighting chance.  It has to start somewhere right?  :) p.s. and no if you haven't done anything illegal (doctor shopping, fraudulent scripts, that sort of thing) then you won't get into trouble.  they have to keep it confidential, whatever you discuss.  so use him for help they've seen this kind of thing A LOT.

[reallyneedhelp76]

Thank you all for the support. I can't explain the how it has helped!  THANK YOU!  I am worried about the doctor's appointment tomm.  Do i tell him my problem?  I won't get in trouble for telling him will I? I've never done anything other than fill scripts from my doctor so i don't think i broke the law but the possibility of getting in trouble terrifies me!

[tgtiffany]

Understandable.  Now what do you do?  You take it day by day.  Don't get discouraged!  Don't let it get you down, I know it's harder done than said, but you can do this.  As for the "uhm...other problem" there a lots of otc medications to help you with that, try some of them and see what's best for you.  As for the surgery part, I know that must be really hard on you.  But if it's something that you must do then you just have to take in all the information and go little by little and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  As you said you're already doing good!!!  You only took ONE pill, when you could have taken them all!!  That's super good already!  I think you will be fine.  You have a lot of stress on you right now, but if you take one thing at a time it won't be as hard on you.  And don't be hard on yourself either!  I think that going from 30+ pills a day to 1 is pretty damn good!!!  Don't you?  You know it is already :)  Keep it up and keep your head up...and remember to smile :)

[reallyneedhelp76]

I appreciate the push, really I do.  But no.  I come from a family of VERY strict values.  They would not support but they would unintentionally berate and make comments to make me feel ashamed and believe me I do already. Plus to make matters worse, I'm an attorney and I would lose my license.  i couldn't handle the withdraws by about 7:00 so i broke down and took one pill.  but considering i usually took up to 30 a day i guess that is still progress right? and to be honest as everyone here is being honest, I wake up everymorning with what I know recognize as withdrawal "runs" and as a result have given my self EXTREMELY painful side affect of that, "read between the lines" on that other embarressing topic.  so all day with an upset stomach I have been in excruciating pain from the other problem.  I only have four pills left that i'm really hoping i don't take;  How do you handle it when you have to go to the doctors, like me tommorrow, and the doctor is going to tell you you need surgury? then what?

[TryingItAgain]

it's a battle that has to be taken hour by hour, til you can take it day by day.  immodium is the #1 friend you will have, and yes the herbal stuff helps A LOT.  The green herb REALLY helps but I'm trying to not use it's help this time(my 3rd, dang back/Dr.'s/me).  My experience tells me that at day 5 is a pretty safe bet to be feeling better/see the light so to speak.  Even the dreaded days 2/3/4 you will have moments of clarity that are really nice.  And this site.... is invaluable.

[ImDONENoMore]

Everyone is right - the place is AMAZING for support.  Especially on those nights when you're not sleeping and there' noone to talk to - you can come here and there's always someone in a different time zone - or someone else in the same situation who's not sleeping either - that can talk to you.  :)  p.s. but i have to ask again - are you really sure that your loved ones wouldn't understand?  i truly think the big problem with addiction is that awful "stigma" that's attached to it that you should somehow feel ashamed when that is the LAST thing you should be feeling.  it happens to all kinds of people from all walks of life and the sooner we let go of that shame, the sooner we can truly get the help we need.  i'm sorry if i'm pushing this i just hate to think of you doing this without the love and support of your family/friends.

[tgtiffany]

You got that right!!!  Now just stay positive and keep going :)  Don't give in!!!  

[itjustme]

I sure hope its possible to succeed. I am diong it by myself too, that is why i joined here. Everyone is so supportive and helpful. I am at 48 hours right now and i feel like crap. Huge crap. But i want to do this, and i know that I can after all the encouragment i have gotten. Doing this is going to change our lives for the better, not for the worst. WE CAN DO THIS!! WE HAVE EACH OTHER!!! We have...each other. :)

[TryingItAgain]

ever get sleepy from eating turkey on thanksgiving?  go get some L5 hydroxyTryptophan, it's an amino acid found in turkey that helps you sleep and calms you down.  Take vitamins and drink lots of water/gatorade.

[tgtiffany]

NO!  You're not alone!  You have us :)  You have all of us and don't forget that.  When you're down and don't know what to do, come here and post.  And remember that you can do this!!!

[CaughtButWantDeliverance]

I went through it alone...you can, too! Remember that invincible you who could take on the world? You can take this on! I asked for support from my clueless sisters and got one weak text from each. Gee thanks. A friend put me on her church prayer list... my doctor - bless him, gave me the meds I asked for and I got myself in trouble...I was clueless, too. Horrified to discover my dependency, my research and sites like this one shored up my belief that I could go through it alone. No choice. People who have never experienced wds don't know what it is like and have little empathy. Kind of like having empathy for a smoker with lung cancer. So, know that it will end...and in just a few days. U can do this!

[reallyneedhelp76]

well i felt good this morning but i took a xanax to stop the jump out of your skin feeling and it helped but just made me tired.  does the herbal rememdies help?

[reallyneedhelp76]

What are you doing to stop the withdrawal symptoms?

[criminy1]

I am alone too but I a making it. Use this site, it helps ALOT:)

[ImDONENoMore]

Of course it's possible - harder, but possible.  I'll get some slack for this - but you need to focus on YOU for now - and the rest will come.  But I do think you need to ask yourself why you think you can't share this with anyone?  People are a lot more forgiving than you think - I found that out myself and was really surprised, but RELIEVED by that.  Maybe if we knew more about your "personal" situation as far as family and friends go we could offer more help?  :)