need a little encouragment

[newlifeahead]

I have been reading this for a few weeks. It has really helped but i decided i too would like the support and realized by posting i could get and give the same encouragement to and from others goitn through the same crap. Just a breif backround i have been on vic and perc's for a LONG time i was clean for 2 years then relapsed why idk because that was by far the BEST 2 yrs of my life i didnt go on them as bad this time but it has been about a year now.  I stopped my last vic 10 days ago but through this last weekend took some tramadol i only had 10 (i dont usually take tram but it seemed to help) HOWEVER i am sure it was a mistake so my last tram was on mon morning but over the weekend i had only taken a total of 10. Since monday late afternoon i have felt not so good. Some points were REALLY bad i am sureit was still from vic and the tram jsut covered it tues i did quite a bit of cleaning ( i also have a 10 month old) so i have no choice but to keep moving.Slept really well mon but last night was HELL i didnt sleep but maybe 2 hrs combined just because of RLS (restless legs) they come faithfully every night by 7 pm that is the WORSE symptom and seems to be the one that i have the most.Today didnt feel too motivated but still took care of my sweet boy (which is one of my major motivations for staying clean he deserves me to be clean) and I deserve it too.... anyway jsut wondering if anyone can tell me how long the restless legs and sleep issues went on for. I eat bannannas dont help i also take warm baths (which help me feel better but not w the RLS) i ahve tried the restless legs med from hyland TOTAL WASTE of money. What has gotten me through this is my faith in God and prayer i know if i pray he helps me immensly. But this RLS doesnt want to stop i would be feelign pretty good if it werent for this i even get it during the day if i sit too much. cant wait for life to be back to normal and i can sleep naturally again. I am inspired by all the strength and clean time on here jsut need a little encouragment thanks:)

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  It won't last long.  You just have to remember that every time you take a pill, you're confusing your brain and it messes with your body.  Try some potassium by pill or apple juice and gatorade.  Have you tried epsom salts in your bath?  

I'm so happy you're going to be a clean mom for your little boy!  AND......for yourself!

[littlebit667]

I just went thru 10 days of h e l l with RLS!  Nothing seemed to work for me all the way.  Hyland's helped during the day some, but at night not at all.
Heat seemed to be the best.  Heating pad worked a bit better.  There are some non addictive prescriptions that do help.  My Dr. just renewed my script for carbidopa and man do I feel better.  She had been on vaca for a week and I had run out.  Really bad timing.  Thought I was going to go nuts.  there are others as well.  If you can go to your doc they might help out.  

Congrats on doing this is will be well worth it as I hope you already know.  :)

[newlifeahead]

thanks i know it is going to be worth it and i am already feeling excited about it. I already have requip for the RLS and it hasnt seemed to help well at least not last night. I dont wish RLS on anyone. @ tram yes i do put epsom salt in my bath i even get RLS in the tub and have to get out. I am hoping to get some sleep tonight and have a MUCH better day today like i said i have been through this before but it was a long time ago I do remember having bad and good days but i know it is worth it to be off this crap. Again thanks for the comments it sure does help

[newlifeahead]

well i slept form 9- midnight better than i thought from then on i would dose off but always wake up and as the monring got closer got REALLY bad RLS so got up at 4 and took a epsom salt bath. Time has went slow since my husband got ready fro work and left and i jsut felt like i was draggin laid my little boy down for a AM nap and did some cleaning but now jsut sitting down it is a catch 22 i know moving will make me feel better in the long run but doing so is so tiring even the thought i had my husband leave the stroller as we r gonna go for a little walk later not sure how long but it will be something. I always feel better after my shower but only for a bit. I just want to be better funny how when we dont feel good and going through detox we jsut want those results right away but we didnt care when we were using knowing what we were doing to ourselves. ANyway some insight would be nice i see lots of support on here but mainly for the ones that r REALLY struggling which i guess is prob the most important. But none of us should minimize what we r going through as we all have been in the "worse" of it. I am thankful i am through that part but this energy draining and no sleep and RLS can seem jsut as bad sometimes

[laurel453]

Hi welcome here and glad that you posted....you are struggling too .. and you are fighting this the same as all so i guess you need the same support too... :) i would keep eating bananas, try also the tonic water, the quinine on it might help you but  if requip hasn't .. don't know, just don't stop taking all the things that usually helps with RLS, they might alleviate you even if it is a little...i also had a rough time with RLS and it sure is tiring and exhausting...and keep posting :)

[newlifeahead]

thanks for the post and encouraging word laurel. Today was pretty interesting i have had bouts of rough times but i have FORCEd myself into doing things i took my son for a walk only about 20 min but it was something i also finished picking up the house. WHen i get to those moments and dont feel like i can do it no more my knees hit the floor i spend the whole day talking w God HE is my rock i know i would not be doing this if it wasnt for his help. I still like to have human interaction w this site but seems to fall back to the 2 and 3 pages and nobody is responding for the most part i think people think u have it at this point and there r others really ready to give up and that is the post that get consitrated on which i understand to a point i know what that feels like when ur so down u dont think u can do it and prob so many would have given up if it werent for people on here pushing them through. ANyway i appreciate the respnses. Being home all day w my 10 month old i feel like i have no interaction w anyone which can get hard i come to this site periodiaclly throught the day. I am hoping tonight is a bit better i could really use some sleep but i would give it up along w alot more if the restless legs would stop. Could anyone post how long that part lasted for them??? thanks

[adictainrecovery]

I feel for you newlifeahead. I was on Tramadol for over 2 years and restless legs was the worst withdrawal symptom. It seems like you have tried many things of the things I tried but I gotta tell you nothing helped me more than these two tips:

1. Right before going to bed, sitting with your legs straight and together, wrap a blanket or towell around them tight. I put the blanket or towel in the dryer for a few minutes so it was warm. Wear clothes that will keep your legs and feet warm.
2. One hour before bedtime, I used to take 3mg of Melatonin. This is a natural sleep aid that will help you through the first phase of your withdrawals at night but unlike the usual pm meds wont make you feel drowsy in the morning. You can find this over-the-counter at any pharmacy. The one I used to take also contained Valerian root, and passion flower extract and it was in the form of liquid soft gel.
3. Breathing exercises. It might sound silly but they help. Concentrate in your breathing, counting, vision yourself inhaling and exhaling. If possible get a track for relaxation, yes, the kind where a very soothing voice tells you you are in a beautiful place.

I hope these tips help you through. Keep in mind you are doing A BRAVE thing and you wont be in pain forever. By your post I can tell you are a warrior and keep active. You also have a very powerful reason to get clean.
Strenght! We can do this.

[lgboy93]

dont worry it could be worse i just started detoxing from 120mg of morphine a day plus 5 10mg norco a day.... i have intractable pain and this seems to just make it worse... iv tried to off seting it with taking some tramodol it doesnt seem to help but im sure things will get better for you hun

[donewitis]

Hi and welcome :)
The only thing I don't think was mentioned regarding RLS that I heard helped was a heating pad..putting a pillow between or under legs and heating pad on top. Maybe give that a try. This gettin' clean is not easy but it is so worth it. Praying and having prayers said on my behalf helped more than I can say. I want you to know prayers are being said for you right now. Isn't is shocking.that you had two of your best years clean..how easy it is to forget. I need to stay close...here as well as in a recovery aftercare (AA, NA) for healing, also to make sure I don't forget (again) just how bad it is..how far I have fallen, and that it would only get worse if I had continued. I'm so glad you made the decision first for yourself..then for your family...oh your precious little boy does need a sober/clean Mommy. It's the best gift you can give yourself and your family.
God Bless You

[newlifeahead]

@adictirecovery hey thanks so much for responding and ur post really helps as i read it at 4 am been up and out of bed since 3 but i cant complain i was soooo tired i went to bed at 8 last night and slept till 4 i was up about every hr for a little but it was sleep i soooo cant complain. I am feeling prettty ok right now my restless legs were so bad when i woke up i had to get up gonna go take a bath and YES i have heard a lot about the warm compresses and i have NOT tried that yet so i will hoping this lets up soon it seemed to be a bit better yesterday bless u and thanks @lgboy oh dont get me wrong it WAS worse and WAY worse i went through what u r going through and what we all do i just have some days behind me which i am truly thankful for... u WILL too if u stick it out i hope things get better for u and they WILL there is NO better life than a clean one not strapped to pills trust me my few years clean were by far my best years.... @ donewitis thanks and yes i have heard the heating pad but i have not tried it it sounds really good about now and i WILL try it thanks. Yes u r right about the after care i think i got too comfortable in recovery i lost 2 babies early in the 2nd trimester after a battle of infertility and i was started back on the meds for the pain i was in. So YES my sweet boy i waited SOOOO long for DOES deserve a clean mommy and i am sooooo tired of being chained down to these pills and my life revolving around refills and if i have enough to even be able to go out and grocery shop for my family it is a SICK thing, this time i WILL be staying in my aftercare which was celebrate recovery at my church and i WILL be depending on God the entire time i am not letting this slip away not again i have way too much and i am jsut tired of disappointing and being disappointed, Well thank u all for ur post i was really looking forward to coming on here and i REALLY needed the support while i am sitting in the dark w my husband and baby sleeping i needed some reminding to start my day and God bless u all and so glad WE ALL have decided to regain our life gonna go soak in the tub now

[laurel453]

what it did the "trick" for me was cold instead of hot blankets.... i would stayed on the balcony wrapped in a blanket with my legs and arms out .... the cold from the night  was a reliever... later i found one of these ice gel creams and since i was getting colds from the balcony LOL, the gel worked better....anyway, this too shall pass and you will be ok ... :)

[newlifeahead]

i have tried those gles u use for back pain didnt really help cold seems to send my nerves into overdrive and they JUMP... anyway after my bath i decided to lay back down took a little to fall asleep but got another 3 hrs YAY i feel GREAT this AM i know there r ups and downs but not gonna think about that when i am having a up day:) hoping it sticks around ALL day gonna do some more work and get out of the house today. Hope everyone has a blessed day PLEASE keep poting because i need it i enjoy it and i look forward to it and please do not hesitate to tell me clean time and what u went through i enjoy  learning about others journey as well

[Life2live]

i dont have anything too useful to say but that I am proud of you for taking the plunge. You inspire me !

[desperatetobefree]

hi newlifeahead, im a mom of four and im on day two of my dettox from tramadol and codeine,it has been very harrowing and im so lucky not to have suffered so far from the leg problem,im just soooo tired and very depressed and anxious and every min is a literal battle to stop myself from delving into my bag of pills,my prob is that i can get them too easy and its not a matter of script running out,but my life is falling apart,i have a great husband and 4 amazing kids and im only 28,ive been using for 3 yrs and it started from a bad back(i know,pathetic),my life in the past year has been getting slowly worse and worse and ive been trying to delude myself into thinking its from everything else but me,but i was the only common denominator to all the problems,im soo glad ur doing this too and u have a lil boy,i feel proud of all users here who r doing this or have done it,its sooooo hard i wanna scream,the hrs seem to drag unbearably slow,i cant even think of leaving the house and wud luv to have the will power to overcome this fatigue thats killing me,i hope we can get thru this together and push each other forward everyday,we can do this especially since u know u did it before,,,,,,lets look forward to normality....ive forgotten what thats like.

[newlifeahead]

thank u life2live this is a journey we all must take eventually after we have abused oursleves for so long it is NOT easy u can do it too:) hey desperate so great to hear from u. I HEAR u on the drained energy and all that todya i felt pretty good getting up but a couple hrs into the morning it got BAD i forced myself to get out we went to get baby's halloween costume i am looking forward to taking him trick or treating for his first halloween and i will be sober and hopefully have a bit more energy. Walking throught he store for over a hr then home i feel like i have been hit by a bus and they backed up and kept doing it i want to scream too.. it gets frusterating u know u have all these days behind u and the immediate bad sick things r gone but these lingering feelings of extreme tiredness gets old too. I had big hopes for the weekend i wanted to get my house all cleaned and get the garage cleaned out w my hubby for the winter so we can get the car in exchange summer clothes for winter ones and so on i keep looking at my house and all i can do is go sit down:( anyway it will get better and for u too congrats on day 2 u say it isnt the running out of pills for u i gotta say that shows A LOT  of strength because i think prob half or more stop because they r sick of trying to get them for u to have access AND still quit is GREAT.... it gets better i know because of past exp i just have to kkeep looking forward and my knees bent literally in prayer. U CAN DO THIS stay strong for those babies u r young i am only 30 so i know i have been battling this for a LONG time it was the best life ever when i was clean for over 2 yrs

[donewitis]

LifetoLive: So often I read here about people getting clean and then refilling script and relapsing. I think it was Tramahater who made it sink in that if I didn't flush the pills, I was going to use again. I believed her and I got rid of them immediately after reading her comment. Another thing was calling 'the' Dr. I told her..that I no longer can be prescribed anything that is remotely addicting. After making that call while going through the w/d's, I was shocked at myself..but very quickly...grateful that I did it. It reinforced for me the fact that I was dependant on a bottle of pills and that I was  miserable. I am so thankful that they are not part of my life anymore. I have a choice today..haven't felt there were any choices for a long time. It's good.

[desperatetobefree]

yeah newlife i am young and thats why i decided i want to be normal for atleast a bit of whats left of my twenties,lol,isnt looking likely to me right now as im having hot sweats and keep struggling with the bag of pills i have here and im waiting for the courage to tip them in the bin,keep thinking of every lame excuse of why i might need to keep them.ie.suprise mother inlaw visit...lol..where ill need all the tram power i can get,,,,but noooooo i wont,i cant i  must not,i cant go thru all this pain and go back,i live in ireland by the way and its nice to meet ppl from all over who r doing the same as me,i feel so alone here,my husband found out today for first time that i was addicted to tramadol,i thought it was a brave step to my recovery as i know he will be keeping a close eye to make sure i wont get any more pills,i knew that when i told him,so i feel very proud of that step,but he has no clue about the bag of evil pills i have and yes,prayer prayer prayer,its really the only real comfort i get now. cant believe how brave and strong u r to be able to go out shopping,keep it up,any excercise is supposed to help,im just trying to convince myself now,lol,txt u again tomorrow its 9.45pm here now,i feel sooooo tired and hope i sleep. bye

[newlifeahead]

hey desperate and life2live u guys HAVE to DUMP the pills there will be NO succeding if u hang on to them the w/d will get to a point where u jsut take somet hen u have to start ALL over NOT fun... or they will be constantly calling ur name. calling the dr is a GREAT idea once they know they wont give them anymore cutting ALL ur ties is SOOOO vital in this that is FOR SURE.... i hope u get the courage to get rid of them and get going on this road i feel REALLY drained but i keep forcing myself, earlier after feeling like i could not even walk i laid on my bed for 20 min didnt sleep jsut laid there i was then able to get up go pay a few bills, get hubby from work, and go to the laundry mat at the laundry mat i felt like i cant even walk anymore but i FORCED myself it is now 9 pm and i jsut got home gonna take a IBU 800 and a epsom salt bath and pray that i get some sleep i actually slept last night it was NOT a full night it was inturupted and i even had 3 dreams or i should say nightmare one was about pills UGH i jsut want ot be better but i now i am getting there and i am doing this:) Hope u all r hanging in there U CAN do it too and we can do it together jsut get up the strength get RID of those pills CUT the ties and get moving i think it is sooooo important that u get mad at the pills get mad at what they have done and THROW them it is a form of saying BYE BYE and u a=no longer have a hold on me as long as they sit in ur house calling ur name they still have u JUST DO IT (like nike says lol) everyone have a blessed night/or day i guess for some interesting to meet people from ALL  over the world

[desperatetobefree]

my days are dragging sooo much an hour is like a full day on tram,seriously,how is that,its like i was missing out on my life but im not sure if that was a good thing or bad lol,.just kidding im gonna make the best of my new life and when i get any normal ebergy back i hope to do all the things i wanted to do but cudnet cuz this evil pill never let me,have a great day today and i pay that we all stay strong....still find fighting the temptaition i wont lir to u,but happiness is better than numbness i hope,just cant wait to feel the day when i know i am better and happier without it,cuz i know i will be but cant remember it anymore and my sick mind telling me i was happier on tram,,,,i know i know,,,i can imagine what ur shouting,,,lol,,,ill stay strong for my lil brood,and u do too..bye

[newlifeahead]

lol desperate u did hear me screaming through the puter LOL.... u know u will be happier i went through that too and missed the life i had on the pills but it just is NOT worth it to me or my family. i HATE that life and i just keep reminding myself of that to get through these days. I have been FORCING myself to stay busy even when i dont feel i have the strength to stand up. It comes and goes i will get energy then loose it i woke up at 4 this am stayed up till 5 then was able to sleep till 7 i was really happy but i started cleani.ng the house and i had to come sit. i am gonna keep pushing i know staying active is best and the day WILL come wehre i dont fele bad anymore at all:) i slept really restless last night and up every hr i know the lack of sleep is killing me. Well cant sit too long ahve a good day all and i will check back later

[desperatetobefree]

ok today was by far the worst day evaaaa,i have been crawling around from room to room literally,never felt so fatigued in my life,its day 3 now nearly coming to an end,thank god,i had my doc trell me to just take one pill of tram tonight cuz my reaction was so severe and i wanted to smack him across the head,that was not what i needed to hear from him,can u imagine how my sick lil mind nearly jumped for joy at the prospect,lol,but i knew he had no clue and i knew that if i just took even one it wud be the undoing of three days of torture that i wud have to do all over again sometime in the future and thats not worth anything,im hoping it gets better tho,i really do,i hope ur doing ok today,u shud be nearly coming out the other end anytime now,im addicted to morphine and codeine too,so its all three at once that im coming off,please god help meeeee.
lol,im always dramatic...hope u had great day ,let me know how u got on today.

[newlifeahead]

thaqt is GREAT that u did NOT listen to the dr it drives me CRAZY that they do that i went to a local hospital for detox the last time over 3 yrs ago wasa admitted and do u know if i go to that er the first thing they do do u need something for pain??? r u FREAKING kidding me how bout read my chart. It is hard for us to be the strong ones but it is important to know and stay on our toes. U r SOOOO right u DONT want to go live those 3 days out again hey and CONGRATS on ur 3 days doing good.... keep it up keep moiving forward. Well the rest of my day was not so good. i havent really felt good today but i have kept moving cleaning the house we r doing some deep cleaning in this house and rearranging the garage so we have room for the car for the winter. My hubby came home from work w diaherreah (sp??) and he ussuallly never gets sick so i am wondering if we dont have a little flu bug in the house on top of it cuz i just have not been feeling right i stay moving because i can NOT deal w the restless legs i would rather be dragging myself through the house. and it is making toime go by faster. We have church tommorrow REALLY looking forward to that i know it will help me. anyway i am gonna get off the puter it is going on 6 nd like clockwork the restless legs r kicking in i could jsut SCREAM i really wish that part would go away have a good rest of the evening i will check back later

[batmanrules45]

Congrats to both of you on making it this far!

I too got the extreme fatigue and let me tell you that was so hard to deal with.  I thought I was going to die.  I ate bananas and apples for strength.  Caffeine is not good for withdrawals but the benefits of it outweighed the negatives for me - you will need to decide how it works for you.  I also drank my favorite drink as a reward - diet mountain dew.

I did not get the RLS as bad because I took Clonidine, a blood pressure medication that is well known in its effect on opiate withdrawal.  Everyone is different but it really helped me.  You need a prescription but I also know that people get it off the internet.  I would try to get it from a dr first.  It only cost me 10 dollars with my insurance.

Hang in there!

[batmanrules45]

I also wanted to point out that I decided to go for it and give up cigarettes along with the Percocets that I had been on for 5 years.  I thought it would be easier to go thru hell all at once.