need help

[helpless1979]

im a single mother of  3 small children and have picked up a vicodin addiction. i dont know how i got here. i take around 8 5/500 mg or 6 7.5/750 a day. ive tried cold turkey but with a job and 3 kids its impossible. rehab not a option because i dont have money or anyone to help with children. please somebody give me some kind of advice i just need somebody to listen to me and give me some good advice. thank you!

[norco_no_more1960]

How much are you taking a day?  I think it is more than enough.  I'm not a doctor, but I think a gradual taper would be best.  When I was tapering I would go down by a half a tablet every 3 - 4 days.  I started sometimes taking a half a tablet with an extra strength tylenol because the reason I took Norco was because of incredible pain due to a series of work related accidents I had.

It seems that you have a friend who is willing to help.  I would ask her to only give you one day's worth of pills each day.  Devise a taper schedule and have her help you with it.  

One of the worst symptoms I had while wd was wicked leg cramps.  It hurt deep in my bones.    Lots of tonic water and bananas were what helped me.  Others here use hyland's restless legs formula.

I got flu symptoms and was sneezing all the time.  In order to keep going I took alka seltzer flu formula and sometimes took some tylenol.  I just made sure not to take more than 4 grams of tylenol (including that in the alka seltzer) a day.

Good luck.

Lisa

[Katrina81]

I am in the EXACT same situation you are. Single mama 3 kids. Work full time and go to school part time. I kept doing this thru my detox and went cold turkey. Everybody is different but i found sticking to my normal routine left little time to think about how cruddy i felt. Im on day 11. If i can do this YOU can do this. I believe in you now YOU need to believe in you. Get some counseling going ASAP that has been INVALUABLE at this crucial time. Good luck and a little faith and confidence in yourself goes a long way. Go ahead and AMAZE yourself. Its a beautiful thing to experience.

[helpless1979]

i agree. im just messed up in the head right now. im working double shifts to pay the bills and support my habit! sad huh? i feel so alone with this deep secret. if my daughters family found out they would take her from  me another reason im so scared!

[ImDONENoMore]

Don't say it isn't much - it is something that you were able to hold out longer without taking anything.

Only I recommend taking your friend up on her offer.  It may feel like pressure right now, but support is so important.  It's so hard to do this alone.  And if she's bugging you about it, well then she must really care about you.  So don't shut the door on her offer.  Take any and all help you can get.  It's one thing to stop taking drugs, it's another to stay off.  And a strong circle of support is one of the things that will keep you going when you feel like giving up (and you will a lot in the beginning).

It seems like we addicts always think we can do this on our own.  I really don't think that's true - we all need somebody sometimes right?  It's just if we could do it on our own, we probably wouldn't have gotten into a mess to begin with.  Just something for you to think about. :)

[helpless1979]

i do have a friend that wants to help but shes bugging me about it and i feel pressured. maybe its a excuse i don t know. im only 31 ive never had a addiction before. drank everynow and then at clubs and stuff but nothing serious. here lately i dont even wanna work i dont even get dressed anymore just lay around in pajama pants!!!!

[helpless1979]

i feel so helpless i did go 6 hours tonight without taking one. doesnt sound like much but usually take one every 2 hours.

[LeaAnn807]

ImDONE has a good point!  60 is enough to taper, but the question is will you be able to resist taking more when the WDs hit?  Because even tapering involves feeling somewhat rough!

[ImDONENoMore]

I know you didn't direct the question to me necessarily, but I just wanted to say that I think it's more than doable to do a taper with 60.  My only concern here is do you have someone who can assist you when taking the pills?  I ask only because I know only too well from personal experience that if I relied only on myself to take "x" amount of pills at a time, I always failed.  I would convince myself it was okay to take just "one" more, which would always turn into 2 more then 3 more, so you see where I'm going here right?  Please know I mean this in the sincerest way - every person has to do this in their own way.  I just want you to have the best fighting chance to get off and stay off.

Hope it was okay that I posted in between here ?

[helpless1979]

thanks,everything hurts weird i take all these pain pills and hurt? would you consider my problem heavy? i just cant imagine having the energy to keep going without them and yes they gv me energy. here lately not unless i take an extra one. im getting my refill of 60 tomorrow is that enough to taper?

[ImDONENoMore]

I think you do have the will.  You came here right?  You know you needed help and the people here can help you.  This forum has been wonderful for me and it will be for you too.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself.  You aren't a bad person, just sick.  And you can get well by moving forward.  You can do this.  It will be rough going for a little bit, but once you get past all of this, you will be able to live life again the way it was intended to be.  Your kids will appreciate having their real mother back again so remember they will benefit from this difficult time too.  It will all be worth it.  Life without pills is just so much better.

Keep posting - there are so many wonderful people here and I'm sure they'll reply to you soon too.  You can do this!  Many of the vitamins and supplements help, as do hot showers (sometimes I took 2/3 in a night when the sleeplessness and restless legs got to me), hot baths with epsom salts and plain old comfort food.  And let yourself get angry too.  I found anger to be a really great motivator to keep me focused on why I was doing all of this in the first place.  And it really worked.

I wish you the best! :)

[norco_no_more1960]

I'm on day 19 of being clean from hydrocodone.  I tapered down to either 1 or 1/2 of one a day before I quit.  WDs were still hard and I believe I'm probably about 20 years older than you so some things don't work as well.  But that was the only way I could be successful.

I think if you taper down to 1/2 a day then you could possibly do it without too much difficulty as long as you do something to help yourself like the Thomas Recipe or the Amino Acid Protocol.

Some things that helped me a lot were:  Alka Seltzer flu formula, tonic water, bananas and tylenol.  Having 1% hydrocortisone cream to put on about 4 or 5 times a day helps too because it helps your adrenals which are going to be stressed.  You can buy this over the counter - its usually called anti-itch cream.  You can get it with or without aloe.

You can do this.  It won't be easy, but it will really be worth it.  You'll be able to be back in your children's life with all your heart once you have cleared the drugs from your system.

Good luck.

Lisa

[LeaAnn807]

Honey, you can do this.  Put your mind to it, and get on with it!!!  You can ask the doctor for something like clonidine.  It is a safe med to use for WDs when you go CT.  Sounds like you are like I was.....can't taper your dose cause you have no self control?  

The mood swings are from the hydrocodone.  My legs used to hurt too!  

Your best bet is to make up your mind and do it!  You will feel bad for a few days, but it doesn't last forever.  

You're not a bad mom.  You know what you need to do, I think?

[helpless1979]

thanks for responding. im just so lost. every time i take a pill i cry. my kids are 9,5, and 4. so i have to do everything. ive already told the doc and he tried to help but i just lied and took all of em. i feel like such a crappy mother even though i hold a job and take very good care of my kids. lately ive been having terrible mood swings. and my legs and feet hurt really bad but im also an waitress. i want to quit so bad just dont have the will power. HELP!!!!

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  It's going to be ok.  You need to taper your dose down a little at a time, and then when you are taking 1 a day you just stop.  You will be uncomfortable for a couple of days, but it's doable.  You could really go CT if you didn't have the job every day.  Some people have trouble going to work during WDs.  AND....the 3 kids would be hard to care for too.  How old are they?  If they can take care of themselves, you could do CT on a weekend.  It's kinda up to you.  You're the only one who knows what you can tolerate.

There are things you can get OTC to help with the WD symptoms. You could also talk to your doctor about help.  

I hope this helps!  We will support you here! : )