Good Morning to Everyone

[newtothisand lost]

hope everyone had a great halloween (if you participate in it that is and if not then that is not for you ;)

i had  a half way decent weekend.....spent time talking with my b/f's family - especially his dad, kinda being the mediator i guess. there is SO much more that i found out in regards to b/f's addiction.  i found out that he had written bad checks on a closed checking account and told his dad that someone must have stolen the checks from his house so.........they went and filed a police report - A FALSE POLICE REPORT - which is a class 4 felony!!!!!  if it wasn't for the the fact that we live in a small town and his parents know everyone i don't know what would be happening!  i guess they won't follow up and no charges will be brought against them.  i say THEM b/c his dad will be an accomplice...............WHAT WOULD CAUSE SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?????  i mean is this what addiction really causes someone to do????  i am trying to understand but for the life of me i don't get bringing everyone else down around you and doing it on purpose.  

my b/f knew good and d@mn well that he was filing a bogus report and he let his dad be a part of it and didn't even have the decency to tell him the truth!  even if he didn't want to tell him the truth he did NOT have to take it that far.  i don't get it.  but either way - it has been handled AGAIN -

we get to see him this sunday and then next monday, tuesday and wednesday there is a family seminar type thing that he wants us to come to.  suppose to help us understand more what is going on with him.

anyway, he sounds positive and he told me that if it wasn't for him wanting to come home and be with me he would never want to leave there.  i was very surprised to hear him say that.  he said that as much as he misses me he knows that he is exactly where he is suppose to be and that when he comes home things are going to be different b/c there is no other choice for him.  

i know that God's hand is in this.......although i don't understand what, why or how - i just am trying to have the faith that i don't see the big picture and that HIS plan is always what is best for me even though i may not think that it is.  All i know is that if me and my b/f get through this - there will be absolutely nothing that him and i can not accomplish..........so all i can say is WORLD LOOK OUT!!!

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

[newtothisand lost]

thank you for your POV  -

this morning i talked to him and i asked him if the counselors and group talk to him about how his addiction has hurt the ones who love him and he said YES they talk about it all the time.....and that even though he knew things were hurting everyone he just didn't get it....  

his parents have bailed him out to the tune of over $125,000.00 since he was 21 - he is only 25 now - he will be 26 in december.  right now they have $30,000.00 on a 2nd mortgage on their home -

i guess it is easier said then done to cut the addict off financially.....i just hope that in rehab they teach him someway to stop the lying.........but i don't know.........

i miss him so much but each day i ask myself if i will ever really be able to trust him....i told him this morning that i didn't want to spend the rest of my life worrring that every time something came up in his life that might be stressful he would run out and use -


we can only take it one day at a time ---

5 more days and i get to see him!!!

[rue10]

Hey,

An addict will do almost ANYTHING to get his DOC.  I know for me, deep down inside I despised myself, everytime I told a lie, took money from my kids/husband, etc.  But I had to push those negative feelings aside and concentrate on getting more pills.  That was THEE most important thing for me.  Everything else came afterward.  I swore to myself that I was doing it so I could function and be a better wife, mother, worker.  But the bottom line was I was addicted and couldn't do anything else before I got my pills.

Toward the end, the pills didn't even give me the high I wanted and EVERYTHING in my life was a drag...not to mention the thousands of $ I spent.

I can't believe I was really that selfish self-centered person, but the pills and my addiction to them took full control.  

This is true for addicts.  In my opinion, your bf has done the things you mention to support his drug addiction.....He may seem like a non-caring "schmuck" but his addiction may have caused it.

Hang in there.