on my 3rd day

[Hilliard]

im back!! well im quitting!! im on my 3rd day now and its been very uncomfortable!!! the worst is the restless legs and ZERO energy... its a task to move from room to room.. i stopped because i ran out... it will be thursday night before i get a chance to get more oxy but that will have givin me 7 days with out oxy.. its almost literally impossible to even type this... my whole body is shaking none stop... PLUS i got a mild cold right before qutting so i have to deal with both!!!.... Heres a little back ground info... im from seattle and thats where i get my oxy from but im vacationing in michigan ... so i only took ten pills (20's)  with me and thought id be okay with only 20mg a day but i waas wrong and soon ran out... so im stuck here and i want to go home sooo badly... i do want to quit but not in this type of pain... on the 7th day if im still in pain ill take oxy again or i might just keep toughing it out... but that all depends because school starts on the 23 and i cant go to school like this.. my whole life is based on oxy and i like it that way... even though i dont get high really anymore it still has changed my outlook and personality for the better... well anyway does any one have any ideas on how to at least gain some energy.. i need some... this totally sucks..  heeelppp mee :( :( :(.. btw if your in michigan and you can help me out with some oxy or any type of opiate then please write back with ur email adress ,,, im in east lansing then on tuseday im in grandrapids.. ANYTHING even methadone.. well thank you byebye

[pon]

I haven't flushed them for one simple reason (which goes back to kicking alcohol in 1987)...for me to feel that I am beating the addiction, and not just being forced through withdrawl by lack of meds, I need it there in front of me.  I have to stare it down each time I pass the bottle and say to myself that I am stronger then they are....if I'm going to backslide I'd just go find some somehow anyway...this way I know it is me beating them for real and that I am not fooling myself.

I wouldn't reccomend my ideas on this to anyone else.  I think it is a VERY individual thing and each person needs to make the decisions for themselves about how and where they find their strength.

Another big source for me is my daughters...I look at them and realize how much I want to see the fine and beuatiful people they can grow up to be...I won't be there if I am still taking, life would have long past deteriorated...

Thank you guys again, this is day 10 for me and I am actually feeling OK today...haven't cried oor anything.

pon

[percsnomas]

I agree about flushing them....when I flushed the last 120 percs down the bowl, it felt soooooo great, after they controlled me for so long!!
STAY STRONG

[peaz]

Congratulations on putting the pills down......now go flush them.......Seriously--how can you detox w/  your DOC around?????It'd KILL me, emotionally and physically.  I'd stare at them all day and think of nothing else.  Such torment.
You are winning the battle and keeping things in perspective so keep on keepin' on!! Keep posting and good luck!!

[pon]

tried to post this last night but couldn't get on....hope all are welj...another day to go*****

Chezz

[Chezz]

Harley,

It is has been a tough day for me too. I called my doc.
Not good.

This battle, this struggle, its everyday. I am trying to get through it minute by minute.

Yet it seems so hard.

Chezz

I don't know where I am at or where I am going. I feel like an emotional roller coaster.

I just want to do the right thing. I have the pain, but I haven't been able to get the treatment I need. But I don't like how the pills "take my life away"

Im lost - Day 4

[harley28]

im on day 2 its hard but i just have to tuff it out. I know in time i will make it. Thank you all for your help and understanding. I really need people to talk to.