oxy help

[chessclock]

Hello this is a first timer to the board. Please respond to ***@****
I have been addicted (or at least I think I am) to oxy for over a year now. Two cancer surgeries and two knee surgeries can leave some serious pain) but no excuses. I am a fully, well almost fully functionaing addict. No one knows of my delema. I start my day by chewing a 40 and taking 4 percocette. Yesterday I started logging the amount I took. 6..40's, 16 percocettes and 9 ir's and never felt a huge buzz and run a huge professional organization. My tolerance level has dramamtically increases over the years. Now the question. I want to start a weaning off program on my own and would like advise and guidance. Please help!
thanks and G-d Bless! <><
again please respond to ***@****

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

The amount of oxycodone you state that you take per day is mindboggeling! And I've been around here for a long time. And you are still able to run a large corporation? I was trying to figure out mentally how much you use per day and it seems to be the equivalent of about 100 perks! Can this be possible? If so, you need to be in the hospital now. I once had a friend that was up to 3 grams of heroine per day but he passed away years ago.

J.B.

[chessclock]

yeah, It's a ton. tell me about it. If you do the match, yesterday was the equivalent of 73. It is mind boggling. I do not get a buzz any longer.I would hate to see how many I would have to take to get a buzz or a "high". My tolerance has grown tremendously, however even today I've cut down so far incredibly. Thus far and it's 2:30 p.m. I've done 2 (40's) and six percocettes. For me, for now that is good. I will continue to cut back each day and your suggestions and advise is hightly regarded.
thanks again.
Jon B.

[chessclock]

p.s. the equivalent was 73...ouch

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Start by tapering down....Cut back by two or three pills a day. I highly recomend going to an inpatient detox center. They have the knowledge to properly wean you down in a safe way. If you have been doing as much as you say then you are in great danger. Do not take this lightly! You are on your way to recovery just by realizing that you have a problem. Go get help now! I wish you lots of luck. There are many people here who have alot of knowledge about this stuff. Don't hesitate to ask....

Read my post below............

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Last night at 3am someone I knew passed away...
He died from a mixture of Oxycontin and Xanax...
This man was fine a week ago...
He had been using Oxy's for over two years, not much, A couple of 80's a day. About a month ago he told his doctor he wanted to quit because he had been abusing the drugs the doctor had been perscribing him. The doctor put him on Methadone. Three 10mg tablets a day. He was fine in the sence that the Meth weaned him off of the Oxy's...Yesterday he did a 80mg mixed with some Xanax to sleep. He woke up at 2:30 am complaining that he was short of breath. His wife called 911. By the time they got there his heart had stopped.............

That's it....He is gone, his name was TOM....Why???

What are we doing to ourselves???

Chad

[niccee]

I am sorry for your loss. I am on methadone. One of my counselors told me that when you quit using your drug of choice
you have to be careful if you start using again, because your body will not be able to take the amount you were using when you quit. We forget that we started out small and gradually got up to a larger dose. We didn't start out taken 30 pills a day for example.

[chessclock]

I am trulu sorry to hear about your friend. Any loss is a touch one. Thanks for the advise. I'll keep ya posted as to how I do. I am writing down every dose to help me thru. So I can now see if I am and I will cut back. Normally by this time of the day I would of had a lot more oxy in me then I do. Can anyone tell me about the ceth program or have you heard about"buprenex"?

[cindi]

hey there my little buddy...I got your e-mail and jumped to the forum right away...I have to say my heart stopped for a minute when I saw the subject of your mail....Chad....I am so sorry for the loss of your friend...we just had a guy here die from oxy's  he took I think 4 of them and drank a beer or 2...dead in a short period of time....Chad, nobody knows why some people can shoot oxy's, snort them, crush/chew them and be ok,,and other people die....the huge astronomical amounts of demerol etc. I was shooting into my body did not kill me but may have killed the next addict...and what nicee said about stopping and starting  if we pick up where we left off, and we usually do then it is very very dangerous...hang in there hon...if yo need me  you know both you and deb how to get ahold of me....love you both   cin

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

The Buprenex works good but must be administered by a Doctor. I recieved Methadone for 5 days and had no withdrawl symptoms. My girlfriend had the Bup and didn't feel as good as me. She had the shakes for about a week afterwards. I'm telling you that the inpatient thing is the way to go.....Chad

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

Thanks Cin! It's so creapy to know that I just saw the guy...now he is dead. I keep saying that it would never happen to us....Life is strange. Sometimes it's just our time to go...but then again, if he hadn't used, then would he still be here? I am terrified to go to the funeral...I guess I am afraid to see the results of what I have myself been doing for a long time. I wish that today I could enjoy life to it's fullest without the use of drugs. Oh sore I cut down like 90 percent but I am afraid that the 10 percent that I do use will kill me or the only person who matters to me in this world. Cin, you don't know how nice it is to talk to someone like you. Thank you so much! Who knows maybe one day some of use could get together and drink some coffee and talk about all we have been through. Or then again.......we could all just go chipping together! I knew you would like that. I am trying to keep my mind busy today....Chad

[cindi]

now little buudy..by chipping are you referring to the trading of sexual acts for dope usually involving hamsters and small dogs...did I not tell you that I prefer DOGS>>>>rotts  etc...LOL  you are a hoot...i know what you are talking about...when my mom was dying,,,I was with her before she went into a coma,,she was on a vent with an endotracheal tube in ther airway etc..but she was awake and responding to me  holding my hand...every time the vent would beep sh would become so frightened..her eyes would get really wide and she would squeeze my hand....I reassured her that she would be fine..in a few days...whe listened to me intently...i told her to go to sleep that I would be with her...she closed her eyes and never woke up...but chad, she knew she was dying....as God as my witness she new..before whe was put on the vent she took her tiny little finger and pointed up in the air and said loudly to someone,,,"I told you I"ll be there in a while"  I said to her  Mom, who the hell are you talking to and she said  Cindi, I can't breathe but I'll tell you later,,,then she did it again....only this time she was a little nastier  LOL  I knew in my heart then at that moment she was dying how did I know?  because during my 20 years as a nurse, I have seen patients do this over and over again..talk to someone "up there"  and then suddenly they seem to be at peace with things....my mom always thought that death was morbid and it terrifed her but at the end my mom was at peace...I don't know why I wanted to fredge al this up again,,maybe to help to ease your mind...death is freaky...and it petrifies me....for many reasons,,, the ground, the bugs, no more existance,,,who will take care of my kids,,my husand better not get married again to a *****  LOL  everything,,I think we as humans do this to ourselves..your firend...maybe you can look at it as though he is no longer the suffering addict?  i don't know....I am only trying to help....but now I went and made myself cry again....****, I hate when this happens....and yes,,Philly is not a 2 day trip from Ohio....I am smack dab between Pittsburgh and Cleveland....I am going to florida in 12 days    so I may be doing a countdown here daily....LOL  I am going to look for a job etc....and having lunch with Brighty.....hey I know  maybe we could hook up with Spook in australia....LOL  have not heard from him via email at all...guess he is still mad at us....gotta go and wash the car...getting it ready for my trip    I dread driving through the mountains   I literally have panic attacks.....maybe when  get back me you deb and doug (my hubby) can think of a way to do something..he is younger than me  by 7 years....I am 40,,you'll like him  he is cool and recovering...LOL    Love to all and hang in there hon......love you as well   cindi

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I'm happy that you are still posting. We really do consider this a life or death matter as you can tell by Chad's and Cindi's posts.

I don't think that I would have it in me anymore to try and taper or even go cold turkey without medical help. Then again, I have some health issues involving alcohol and Tylenol overuse/abuse. The perks I take for pain contain 500mgs of Tylenol and I am limited to four per day. I just hope that you can get through this somehow! The road is long and treacherous and my hat is off to you for wanting to try. Keep us posted!  J.B.

[susanlea]

I'm so sorry Chad for the loss of your friend. I will say a prayer for him and for you tonight.   Love Susan

[Thomas]

sorry, chesslock, but on this forum we all share our problems and don't restrict our request for responses to some exclusive, private e-mail address. That is undoubtedly how you are used to being treated as head of your professional organization. Here, you're just another addict. Sorry if that offends you.
I think you know without asking that you're addicted to a very powerful narcotic that is notoriously hard to get off of. Oxy has a psychological component that makes any detox efforts a long-term project requiring plenty of preferably professional support. CHAD is right. Your best bet is an in-house rehab where they will know how to best handle the physical and mental aspects of coming down from oxycodone. Tapering? Unless you're one in a million, forget it. If you're head of a large professional organization, you no doubt have options most of the rest of us don't. Take advantage of that great insurance and do it right. Best of luck to you.

Thomas

[jennyfla]

Chad, i'm so sorry for your loss.
You guys are scaring me!  I am hating having to leave my husband for this next week while i go to NJ to visit family, just hate it.
Chad, my husband went to high school in Cherry Hill, NJ, he had some great times, and some wonderful people there.
I am so afraid for him.  He does some really high levels of meds, and i fear everything!
When i first starting doing oxy's, i crushed a 80 mg and i thought i was going to die.  I'm sure i was close, i know that now.  I was so out of it, it took days to recover, i was as sick as a dog.  I had no idea what i was doing.
I just know that god was watching over me because that should have killed me.  At the time, i was doing herion from time to time, but was not addicted (physically), so you can just imagine what a chewed 80 mg oxy did to me!  I was insane!!!!!  I prayed hard that if i made it through this, that i would never ever do that again.  I lied to god, and i'll never forgive myself for that.
He sent an angel down to get me through that i believe, he knew my children needed their mom.
Now i fear for my husband, i hate having to leave him, but i can't stop my life forever and watch over him like a hawk.
I'm so lost, i just don't know what to do.
Thanks for listening guys!
Lv Jenny

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Your husband is a big boy and surely can fend for himself(did I really say that?). I just hope that he cares as much about you as you do for him.

As far as relapsing and lying to God goes, don't ever think that it makes you less of a person to do so. You are not a bad person or any less of a human being in my way of thinking. Just try to be strong and pray to God that you can be there for your children. My God, more that anything, has helped me when I've needed it the most. He's here for all of us!  J.B.

[Frankinscense]

I am not a physician. But I have seven years of sobriety behind me. The most important thing is your recovery! You must realise that this is a life or death situation. This situation requires all of best efforts.                                                                                                                Oxycontin is, in my opinion, one the hardest opiates to get off! Simply because of the formulation and content of the pill.  Oxycodone appears to disturb the endorphin system more so than most popular narcotic formulations. The more a medication disturbs the normal endorphin system the harder it is to lower the dose of the med. Your brain has slowed the production of endorphins because oxycontin chemical structure is so close to the structure endogenous endorphins. When you lower your dose of oxy there are no endorphins at the synapses to normalise the brains functions. That's when the horrible withdrawals and cravings appear.                                                         The solution is opiate agonist therapies(treatment). Methadone is the safest and has 30+ years of success behind it from a medical standpoint. Any failures where methadone is concerned is caused by uninformed politicians and medical people.                                                                               Methadone Maintenance Treatments allow your brain to repair the damaged endorphin system while stopping withdrawals and cravings.  Your level of success in your recovery(program)is up to you. Methadone is no magic bullet. It requires a commitment on your
part that must be followed through. You must address issues in your life that caused the addiction. ADDICITION IS A SYMPTOM OF AN UNDERLYING CONDTION. You must search long,hard and deep to determine this underlying condtion.                                  1.)Group therapy with peers is a must do
    2.)Individual Counseling with an addiction expert is a must
    3.)working a 12 step program has proven successful                                                                             Your level of commitment to your recovery will determine your success in defeating this killer disease. It is a killer disease and must be treated accordingly! I am a substance abuse counselor.  And these are things that have shown to produce positve results in recovery. Best Wishes! Be Spiritual! Stay Focused!
Dan...

[Frankinscense]

Just a short note to correct the mispelling of "chessclock"
In my daily meetings with clients. The most important item to note is the denial and minimizing of this disease. It is a disease that kills and will ruin your life if you do not take immediate action! My Best Goes Out to You And All My Friends On the forum! Dan...

[cindi]

Jenny,,Listen to what JB  is telling you... and yes JB you really did say that  LOL  you can't prevent anything from happening anyway....God is going to do what he wants when he wants.....I'm leaving my husband when I go to flirida fir 2 weeks,,,all though he does not abuse anything he is a steel worker and he drives fast and tailgates when he thinks people are driving to slow...you get my point...i can't be with him all the time to yell slow down,,or don't fall into the steel or don't get crushed by the steel...(but I do tell him when he leaves to drive slow and he wants a HARLEY  LOL)  give it all to God...it does work    Love ya   cin

[Moses]

I`m new to the site. I had a double neck fusion two years ago that did damage to the nerve. Was in a lot of pain before surgery, and in worse pain after. I was dependant on m.s. contin before and after surgery. Up to 200mg and sometimes more. Got off the morphine, very rough, and went 6 months without any thing. Terrible time. Couldn`t sleep, constant pain, tried to distact myself from it but just couldn`t. Finally convinced my doc I needed something for the pain, and he gave me a small amount of oxy. As time went on we gradually increased to 120mg. a day. From the start I struggled running way low, and sometimes out for a few days. Three months ago he let me go to 240mg. a day. At that point I really got out of control. Was holding off in the mornings and chewing my whole days does in early afternoon. No intention of taking more but late afternoon I would take more, sometimes another whole days does. Reflecting on these actions I`m astonished that I would be that stupid. My doc wouldn`t tolerate this. I was on very thin ice as it was. Well now the ice is broken and I`ve fell through. Thank God my doc didn`t just wash his hands of me. But here is my problem. He put me on a very fast taper. Thirty 40mgs in all. Start at 200mgs. a day, and drop 40mgs. every other day. This is my second day on the taper and so far so good. But if this goes like the m.s. contin it will start to get bad at about the 80mgs. a day. I am not looking forward to this, I realy get sick, as many of you know about, plus I`m still in a LOT of pain. My doc says we will try some other things, but I know it won`t be narcotics. And nothing has helped in the past, and I`ve tried it all. How can I possibly go on. I feel I really need the oxy`s, but I`ve totally screwed up that possibility. Have any of you done something this stupid? I can`t believe I did this and I`m scared to death. Can anyone relate. What can I do? I am really depressed! Thanks, Moses

[cindi]

Yes, we pretty much all can relate to your situation....you will get alot of good feedback and advice here...Chad has done the oxy deal, I'm not sure about wizard, but there are people here struggling with oxy's, norco, vicodin etc....you have come to the right place....just hang on tight while doing the taper thing....these drugs will take us down and they'll do it fast....alot of us here are also chronice pain people,,accidents, neck, back etc...you name it we have it...my thoughts and prayers are with you    love to all        cin

[chessclock]

Mu friends,
     Day three and off to a great start. Of course it's sat. and we slept to noon. My wife is my greatest support. She knows I am trying the weaning and is supporting me in this endeavor.I do not really know how I function normally, but I do. My wife never knew of my addiction until I told her. When I was past my 2nd cancer surgery and the road looked promising for recovery I let her in on my "little" secret. So for those of you with spouses and/or significant others, I believe letting them know cannot hurt! I am curious about buprenex (spelling??) and can anyone educate me on oxyfast?
thanks again!~ <>< <><  <><  <><  
J.B.
As for the gentleman with the nasty comment about my running of a co. and not being "one of the gang". God bless you. Jeremiah 29:11  !!

[Thomas]

the thoughts I have for you are of peace, also, my friend. That doesn't change the fact that this forum's custom is to feature both questions and answers in the hope that both will help more than just the poster who asked the original question. Asking that all your aswers be sent to a private e-mail box goes against this tradition and deprives many, many people of benefiting from the answers.

[niccee]

I have been on MMT for a couple of years. I was seeing a counselor and going to my group meetings with other MMT's. I now get the methadone from a doctor. It got to be to expensive $600.00 a month. I am trying to get off of it too. My counselor (who had been a heroin addict plus dilauds) told me he thought that I had not totally damaged my body and that I might be one of those who could successfully get of the methadone. You made a comment about it letting the body repair itself. Would you mind explaining that to me. I think it would help me if I understood what was happening. I have read all of your post and you seem very knowledgeable about this awful thing called addiction. Thank you very much.

[Thomas]

I would also be interested to hear your answer to nicce. After thirty years of bathing my brain in opiates, I'd like to know if there's anything I could do to undue at least some of the inevitable damage.

[Francoise]

Very nice to be back here for awhile and to see and "hear" familiar folks.

You may remember that I'm on 100 mg oxy twice a day for intractable back pain from a nerve involved crushed L4, broken pelvis, etc.

I've attempted to take your advice, Thomas, and regard the oxy as a friend and helper instead of as an enemy. Seems to help. Actually, I kinda let a dosage time slide the other morning just to see if I could evaluate the residual back pain. Glad I did it. When I attempted to get out of bed, the pain from the sacro-illiac joint (which now has what looks exactly like a four-inch carriage bolt through it securing it to the spine again) was incredible. And that was with enough oxy still in my system so that I wasn't in psychological trouble. I can't imagine what it would have felt like if there had been no oxy in the old system at all.

Someone reminded me that my diabetic friend must have his injections each day or die.

My father's heart medication must be taken every day or he would die too.

And I must have this oxycontin every day for not only the physical pain management, but also that I don't die by my own hand for reasons that you know.

I don't particularly like it, but them's the fax.

Howim' I doin' do you reckon?

Francoise

[cindi]

Once again I must butt in and first of all wish you luck tapering your oxy's.I think we are all pretty much thinking that the inpatient treatment center is the way to go..you really should have a professional medical supervised detox for the amounts you are taking..If it is anonymity that you are seeking because of your pofessional status,, I  can tell you that due to the patient confidentiality  they cannot disclose the fact that you are evena patient of theirs..at the center I went to i was very concerned about my nursing lisence  and if anyone called for me that was not on my "list" of people that could contact me they would not even say if I was a patient or not....second of all,  I did read the post from the gentleman re: your position in a huge corporation..and I don't think he meant any harm  It sounded to me like he was suggesting inpatient treatment since you probably have good insurance....he is a very good person,,,and he has alot to offer but unlike the females on this board (at least most of them) he does not sugarcoat anything and when it comes to the subject of addiction nothing should be sugarcoated...absolutely nothing...Me, I sugarcoat so no one gets mad at me or has hurt feelings.....addiction is a terrible disease and as JB stated it is a life and death situation...if you have the means to get the medical detox  I would go for it...and it is more comfortable..good luck      love to all   cin

[cindi]

Hey there,  good to see you again...  I'm glad you have realized that the oxy's can be a benefit for you..Pain medication was invented for a reason  ( and not to be abused  LOL)  and used properly it can be relatively safe...take care   Love to all   cin

[Thomas]

Hello, my good friend. You sound like you're at peace with being dependant on the medication, which sounds like tremendous progress to me.

We all have only so much time on this earth. When you realize that the pain meds can help you "have a life" and are indeed your friend, if not liberator, you've opened the door to all the possibilities open to you. I can't speak from personal experience, but something tells me that, even with a four-inch bolt in your back, life can still be a miracle and a privilege to experience.

I'm so glad to hear you in such good spirits. "Hold that thought!"

Your friend,

Thomas

[Francoise]

Thanks my friends for your posts and your assistance that has led me to this point. Perhaps if one day there is something that can be done for the pain, by that time maybe there will be a way to get off opiates too. Hope so.

One of the things that keeps me anxious about the oxy is the present feeling of vulnerability. I have a list of "what if...." a mile long.

Anyway, thanks again for your empathy. Will continue to check in and offer my viewpoint/outlook from time to time. "And if you need me, I'll be there; If you...."

Francoise

[Frankinscense]

Methadone plays a part in repairing the endorphins and other neurotransmitters while on a program. This happens as a result of not abusing short acting opiates.(hydrocodone,oxycodone,heroin,dilaudid and etc.)  These drugs wreak havoc to endorphins and other N/transmitters. Methadone allows a stabilty at the synapes. But if methadone is not taken properly,it can cause problems too. That's why it's important to stay with a program and stay focused. Do not increase your dose to chase a high. >>> Abstinence in itself allows the quickest repairs with the endorphins. But many cannot tolerate the depression and sickness that happens while in detox.
Thats why methadone offers the most logical alterative to getting your life back together utilising intensive counseling and group
to determine the underlying condition of your addicition. Working a 12 step program is essential to aquire tools to face lifes issues. I hope this answers your question. Best to All!
Dan..

[Gina]

I must tell you that you have made my day! I have been on methadone since Jan 2001 and have been scared to death about decreasing my 75mg dosage because I am worried about all of those uncomfortable feelings (depression,withdrawl, etc..) I had no idea that methadone doesn't deplete our endorphins. I have been wanting to start tapering as the drive is getting to be too much everyday. But I would rather drive the distance than go through the withdrawl. I also heard that it doesn't get too difficult until you reach 20mgs or so. I know it will take weeks to wean down but now feel that I'm ready because of your post. Thanks Doc Dan for helping me make the right decision.

[niccee]

First Doc Dan thank you. You explained it great. You are so right about working a program. I had to figure out why I got myself into this mess in the first place. Now Gianna. I was on 80 mgs of methadone for about a year. Then I started dosing down. Againist my clinics advice I went down 5 mgs a week. They recommend 1 mg a week. I could not tell the difference in 80 mgs and 40 mgs. I stopped at 40 for awhile and then I went down to 20 mgs. That is when I started to feel a few side effects. Then I went down to 10 mgs and I got the depression etc. So I have gone back up to 30 mgs and am going to start over again and do it 1 mg every week or so. Just like I was told to do in the first place. I have talked to other methadone patients and they had the same problem I did. They were okay until they got to 20 mgs. Of course, you have to be ready mentally to do this. When I first started and someone in our group would start to dose down I would say no way, but as I worked the program I changed my mind. Of course I have met people that have been on MMT for over 20 years and if that is what keeps them clean then I am all for it. Hope I didn't give you to much info.

[Thomas]

You know, Francoise, I wouldn't worry a bit about the whole ant-oxy publicity thing. First of all, the oxy is already on Schedule II. Your injuries more than justify you getting oxy. The drug companies have powerful lobbies in Washington that aren't going to stand by while the drug is banned. And if it is, you've got methadone "waiting in the wings," which is by professional consensus superior in all respects to oxycodone. In fact, it might not hurt to give methadone a try, anyway. It is long-acting and, in terms of pain killing power, superior to oxy anyway. For that matter, there are a lot of pain management doctors that say that good old morphine is still the best painkiller around. If you get into morphine, you've got a variety of forms to take advantage of, from MSContin (time-release) to straight morphine tables to "instant morphine" under-the-tongue pills that hit the bloodstream in seconds (don't ask how I got them, but I tried these 10mg sublingual morphine pills, and they provide relief as soon as they hit your tongue). So, relax. You have more options than most of the rest of us!

Feel good!

your friend,

Thomas

[Thomas]

unfortunaely, it looks like the L-Tyrosine formula is even more complicated that just L-Tyrosine and B6. Apparently, you also need phosphorous, Vitamin C, copper and SAM-e to complete the full metabolic cycle. It seems the old formula of L-Tyrosine and B6 is still good enough to help produce dopamine, but to create norephinephrine, you need these other substances. I'm going to find out if copper and phosphorous can be conveniently obtained as part fo a big multivitamin (I can't stand having to organize 64 different pills in the morning). I'll report back what I find.

In the meantime, feel free to consult this web site to learn more:
http://www.mindfixers.com/pathway1.html

[niccee]

I have been taking the L-tryosine and B6. I also started taking a multi vitamin for women. I just looked at the label and it says it has 100% of the daily allowence of copper and vitamin c, but only 11% of phosphorus. Please keep us updated on what we need. It sure helps me alot. The first week I did not notice anything, but starting on week 3  my mood improved and I felt like doing more physical work. I also take Zoloft so I guess that will take the place of sam-e. Thanks again.

[Gina]

Thanks for the info! Right now I am an unemployed social worker who's unemployment runs out the end of august. Now is the time to detox before I start a new job. If the clinic were closer to home I would probably stay on it forever. Sometimes I think that's the easy way out and who isn't looking for that. I am afraid of relapse (pain pills). I know that I need to work a program but the methadone makes it easy not to use. I remember when I started the counselor said "Don't let the methadone become your program, you need to work the 12 steps etc." I am guilty of doing that. I watched a women who was a nurse go from 80 mgs down to 5mgs and stated she felt no discomfort at all. She said she was exercising daily and going to group. She had detoxed before but failed due to using other drugs because mentally she thought she would feel uncomfortable. You are right to say that you have to be mentally ready. I was hoping the bupronex would come through while I was in this program so I could switch and detox faster. The dr. at my clinic uses the bup. in an inpatient setting now. I know what I need to do but I can't help but have those unsettling feelings in my head and heart. I am so tired of being controlled by the almighty pill!!!!

[Francoise]

Thomas, good friend, you've just made me aware of more options than I ever knew I had. You're really something, and I wish I could return the favors. Come down to Savannah, and I'll take you fishing or something.

Many thanks,

Francoise

[Thomas]

Thanks, Francoise. May the gods make it so. It looks like my fate for the time being is to work us out of the financial hole my uninsured benzo seizures have put us in. But, eventually, we will be visiting Georgia (wife's family) and I would love to take you up on your offer. I understand Savannah is a beautiful place. Then perhaps I will take you whale watching off the coast of my home in Laguna Beach, California. Both pleasant things to look forward to that have nothing to do with kiss of the poppy.

Peace,

Thomas

[chessclock]

Dear Susan,
     How your letter has touched me! wow what a testimonial as to the power of a drug addiction. As for myself, on Friday I started a weaning off program on my own. I've cut back significantly ovver the weekend and hope to continue thru. I do not know what the outcome will be, however I do know that with the # I was taking I was a walking dead man. So far I haven't had the physical backlash, but I am not totaly free. As for the mental, one hour at a time. Staying busy and re-reading those testimonials and the med-help letters has helped. Similar to scared straight'.
Thank you for the blessings , I could sure yse them at this juncture in the road to self help.
Diagnosis: less each day. huge cutback Sunday......total intake equivalent to 42 5mg percocette. I was in the 70's so for me that is GREAT. By this time in the a.m. I would of had chewed a 40 and had 4 percocettes. As of this writing and it's 8:30 a.m, I've had two percocettes and no 40! Keeping the faith and spiritual guidance is my salvation here!
thanks again,
J.B.

Bob K. Got your e and thanks a million for the advise. It will be my next option if this does not work, but so far sso good, we shall see!

[chessclock]

also Bob K.
     How was it after the first few days after the buprenex?

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I'm happy to hear that you are doing so well!

I don't have any experience with BUP but consider this: Tapering down is probably going to help you the most at this point. You can try buprenorphine but people have told me that they have had problems with accute withdrawal syndrome(AWS)for weeks and months anyway. Inability to sleep is most often mentioned. Some have to go on Clonodine et,al. You've been on some pretty wicked stuff and AWS can be severe considering the amouts you've been used to.
Keep tapering down as long as you can to make things easier. J.B.

[chessclock]

thanks jb, It hasn't been easy. As a matter of fact I am currently getting some pretty strong vibes physically to pop some more percs\. I had two @8 and not three @10:30. This is gooing to be a very interesting/crucial day for me. Keep me in your prayers if and even if you are not spiritual!
thanks,
J.B.

[Wizard]

chessclock, I'm glad to see you have a plan and it looks like the determination to follow it through. I know it's tough in the beginning physically but if you keep reaching for the light at the end of the tunnel you WILL make it! Really the MENTAL part is the hardest, but keep faith in your ability to lick the
"Dragon". I will keep you in my prayers for sure! We are all here rooting for you.
Power & Magick 2U,
Peace & Light on U always,
Wizard

[chessclock]

I can't thank you enough. If it weren't for some of the factual horror stories I may never of even attempted to quit. It's a tough road but one that needs to be followed. Today.so far so good! 5perc's and that is it!

[Pillpoppa]

Hi Chesslock - you will not come right until you replace all the zinc/mag you have leached out of your body over the past few years - this is what 'hanging out' really is - it's your body craving zinc/mag (zinc stops cravings/magnesium stops depression). If you don't do this it will take up to 2 years to return to normal as the only other source your body has for zinc/mag is food and then it is in such tiny amounts it takes years to build up again. If you get a blood test done you will find your levels of both are way down on what they should be.


A typical tablet contains somthing like this:

Zinc amino acid chelate 75mg
Magnesium amino acis chelate 37.5mg
Vitamin B6 10mg
Manganese amino acid chelate 10mg
Viatmin A (1000I.U.) 300mcg

Grading your habit on a scale of 1-10 (1 being occasional use and 10 being long term methadone at 100 plus mg's a day) you should take the following amount for a period of one month then slowly reduce to a daily amount of 2-3 per day.

Habit scale/size - Number of tablets per day for a month

10 10
9 9
8 8
7 7
6 6
5 5
4 4
3 3
2 3
1 2
0 2

You will notice that I recommend you never go below 2 per day. This is because zinc/mag depletion was your original problem so you should give yourself an ongoing supplement to make sure it does not happen again. I now take 2-3 per day to maintain my health. I have had no failures with this treatment (everyone OK after less than a month) and have treated addictions (including my own) as varied as methadone and cigarettes. The cigarrete smoker reduced from 2 packs per day to just 5 cigarettes per day in a week without any discomfort. If you suffer any kind of 'hang out' just increase the zinc/mag dosage and give it a liitle longer to take effect (a week or so). Don't beleive all the bullshit about drug addiction you have heard - it's all **** - this is the real deal. The drugs themselves are not actually addictive but they do leach all the zinc/mag out of your body by increasing the metabolism of them creating a shortage that gets worse the longer you use unless you replace them while you are using in which case you don't hang out when you stop - you just come straight - this is true beleive me I have tried it as have a few other people I know and none of us sufferred any hang out when we stopped.

[CHAD FROM PHILLY!!!]

thanks guys soooooo much! I'll write soon......Chad

[chessclock]

here is the update. Yesterday I ddi the following to wean off the oxy.
8:00 a.m 2 perc.
10:30    3 perc.
4:00     3 perc.
8:00     4 perc.
3:30 a.m. yes that is correct(am) I woke up aching pretty bad, did not want to chew a piece of forty so took two perc in mid of night, did get back to sleep. T
This a.m 8 o'clock, took 1/2 40 not chewed. I think I may be coming down with my wifes flu she had just gotten yesterday and I may be confusing the withdrawal symptoms and the flu. How to tell?

[Hobbit]

...

    Withdrawals symptoms are very similar to flu-like symptoms so it's possible that you could be confusing them.  On the other hand, your immune system is vulernable right now due to the tapering so your chances of catching something are high.  I know withdrawal is bad enough without having a flu accompanying it.  If it gets unbearable, go see your Doc,

                                        Hobbit

[chessclock]

to pillpoppa,
     is there a zunc/mag combination I could ask for at a gnc?

[Pillpoppa]

Hi,

I only have experience of New Zealand brands like the 'Healtheries' one listed in my earlier posting to you with the contents listed. That brand has a product called 'Zinc Plus' and their address is:

'Healtheries of New Zealand'
505 Mount Wellington Highway
Auckland
New Zealand

They contain 90 tablets and retail at Woolworths supermarkets in NZ for $8.75 NZD.

You should be able to find something similar in the states however so go to the local supermarket or heatlh shop and ask or look around. Another option is to ask a nutritionist or naturopath.

[skipper]

hello:
i'm new to this forum. I'm 50 as of march 21. I've been using drugs
since i was 14. i've been "clean" for 18 years thanks to na and gods grace. My drug of choice was morphine. used to b&e drug stores
along the mississippi from minnesota to missouri. i should be dead
but am not.
my problem:
2 cervical spine operations and so far to show is more pain. pain
specialist put me on wellbutron and oxy-contin 10 mg. after suicide
attempt. my only excuse was i just couldn't see my way thru another
sugical procedure. had 2nd. cervical procedure (fussion redo) may
14 of this year. since leaving the hospital was put on 90 mgs of
oxy a day. felt great. after one week was reduced to 20 mgs. twice
a day. felt like ****. pain break-thru med. hydro codone 20 mgs left me thinking about suicide or contacting pain doc. i just couldn't get thru a satuday of intense pain. to my suprise my pain
doc sent a resident to meet me in er room. was given a shot of 1/4
grain ms and new script to oxy 40s. now my neuro surgeon has reduced my oxy to 20 mgs. twice a day. can't make it on that.
more pain & thoghts of doing drug stores, checking out the junk market,
**** it put a gun in my mouth, fall to my knees and scream.
i'v allways thought i was an experienced junky, but this oxy
stuff is kicking my ass. I fear the day of being taken off it,
even though i hate it. i'm too old for the street drug thing.
don't know what to do.

[cindi]

Can you talk to your doc about increasing the oxy's to where you are comfortabel...or maybe trying something like the duragesic patch   alot of us here are in alot of chronic pain.....if you need the oxy's which obviously you do then you have to find someone who is willing to manage your pain....properly....it has taken my husband and myself along time to find that right doc but he did.....and so did I  now he is on the patch  he hated hydros and oxy's and I am on the right combo of meds that work for me...I know all to well how you are feeling...I went into treatment 11 years ago after years of abusing everything  finally working as a nurse eset me into the demerol etc.....the chronic pain has been an issue and I have watched by husband be reduced to tears and thinking about his own guns because of his intractable pain.....keep coming back...you will get alot of great advice here   THOMAS< WIZARD< JB???????????????  where are you guys?                       Love to all   cin

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

You and I have very similar backgrounds with addiction ie, morphine. Though I never B&E'd a pharmacy, I did forge many a script before seeing the error of my ways. Maybe the most insane thing I did was to go to Darmstadt, Germany and score 7000 hits of quarter grain morphine tabs. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time but was oh soo stupid!

I think that half of your battle is in finding the right doctor to care for you now. Cindi had some good suggestions for you about meds, etc.

You said you had 18 years of being clean under your belt? Now is the time to draw on that experience. God is still here for you so make yourself available to Him. Sure, I went through the gun in the mouth routine but had I gone through with it...I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you now, would I? I'll say a special prayer for you now. Hope it helps somehow.  J.B.

[Wizard]

Hang on dude! THINK about what you are saying man! You and I are very much alike in ways and I also thought a few times about eating a 44 mag. BAD, BAD idea! You mention NA and Gods good grace.....guess what.....Gods good grace is still there if you seek it. B&Eing pharmacies isn't the answer, it's a means to an end. An end that I don't think you REALLY want to be facing. If your docs are cutting you back to fast seek other docs. Please keep the faith and reach for the light at the end of the tunnel man, you CAN do this...A lot of us here have with GODS good graces and the support of each other. Lean on us when the thoughts of not being able to go on come into your head. PLEASE! I've never met you dude, but I love you and we could use your experience here to help your self and others. I KNOW that I couldn't have left my wife, children and friends that way. I'd be gone and dead and they would be left with all the hurt and wondering why. NOT an answer. No way No how. If you get busted think about what it would be like trying to kick in a cell with nobody caring. Not pretty. Every time you come here you will find one or more "angels" to help you if you stumble. Use us, use ME. I will pray for you man right now and very hard. God give you peace.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace & light on you,
Wizard

[chessclock]

I'd love to get an address to send a check or perhaps even a phone #. Could you help?
thanks, J. B.

[chessclock]

Dear Pillpoppa,
     I found the web-site for the vitmins you told me about and suggested. Would you mind going to that site and telling me the exact name!??
thanks again bro!
God bless!<>< <>< <><
J.B.

[skipper]

my thanks to this forum, Cindi,JB,& Wizard. since i posted early
this morning i've taken 4 oxy 2os. feel somewat beter emotioally,
but stll have real bad pain in right arm & between upper shoulder blades. don't know if i can come clean with my doc. tomarrow i go
see a counsleor at the pain clinic. this counsleor is good people
and i can talk honestly with him. i guess my problem is the docs.
past expierence has taught me that the majority of the time when
i'm honest with a docter i get the bums rush out the door with a
please don't come back.
enough bitching about my problems. an addict that is not full of
drugs is full of: him self or grattitude.
thanks to this forum. i log on and get comfort knowing i'm not
alone. maybe i'l feel  beter when i get back to work. thats at
least 4 weeks away, so i just beter to stay in today.
again thanks to all of you!

[chessclock]

Dear Pillpoppa,
     I found the web-site for the vitmins you told me about and suggested. Would you mind going to that site and telling me the exact name!??
thanks again bro!
God bless!<>< <>< <><
J.B.

here it is:http://www.healtheries.co.nz/

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Hey, I just realized that you and I have the same initials J.B. Are you a John also? Actually, I've been called J.B. for years and it is short for "just braindead". Hope you are doing ok.  J.B.

[chessclock]

Hey J.B.,
     That correct. I am a jon from ft. lauderdale. Man, it is hot today. feels like 1000 degrees. Thanks for the support. I am glad I found you guys! Where u from?

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I'm here in steamy east central Indiana. I'm ready for my third cool shower about ten minutes from now. Been mowing all day and still have about three acres to go! Alaska sounds better all the time these days. Glad you're in good spirits! J.B.

[chessclock]

Wow Indi, how cool! Farming? what was your drug of choice?

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Morphine sulphate was my drug of choice for a long time. I tried heroine but did not get too enthused about it.  After all it was illegal and impure and dangerous. It's funny how an addict's logic works!

I was clean for over twenty years(barring alcohol),then my wife was given large amounts of morphine for cancer pain. In short, I could not handle the temptation and I ended up relapsing. It was another sad merry-go-round for many months and I'm sure you get the picture, my friend. Hope this helps you some,  J.B.

[Wizard]

Hey J.B. it never ceases to amaze me how very much alike we addicts are. When my father passed away Hospice told me they would come over the house to dispose of all the morphine tablets and liquid. I told them I saved them a trip and poured it all down the toilet......YAAA RIGHT!!!!!!!!! It was sure hard to go back to the hydros after having hundreds and hundreds of doses of morphine around....You hit the nail on the head with the temptation was too great...I can't believe how much I took and and am here to tell you about it. It sure numbed the pain of losing my father sad part is that it just prolonged the mourning proccess when the morphine was gone....That's when I added the oxy's to the hydro program...what a waste of the last 3 years that was. Anyway, I'm coming up pretty soon on 2 months clean and just felt like dumping a little. Hope all is well for you this evening J.B. I think I read earlier that you were having some liver problems today. I'll keep you in my prayers man.
God bless you and all us little addicts recovered or not!
Power & Magick 2 U,
Peace and Light upon us all,
Wizard

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I think that this is my first post to you. We do have so much in common, don't we? The way you think and talk reminds me of a Uriah Heep song from long ago...ever hear it? Maybe early seventies is before your time. Anyway, I was living in Europe then and having the time of my life! Today, I pay.

Oh, about the drugs when I was actively using...I forget sometimes. A couple of years ago I was selling my pickup truck. In the process of cleaning it up, I found an MS Contin in my seat cover. Guess what happened? Yep. Glory hallayullia, bingo---relapse. Is it just me or does everyone get tempted only to be burned alive again? Anyway you look at it, play and pay in the end.  Just musing again,  J.B.

[Wizard]

Uriah Heap............WOW! That's aname out of the past...before my time? NOT HARDLY! LOL I'm 47 and grew up 30 minutes from Haight Ashbury in San Francisco 20 Minutes From Bezerkly, Ca. You could say I was a "child of the 60's" When it was happening. You are so very right about "I Partied Hardy...Now I can Hardly Starty" Pay back a ***** in my worn out body dude. LOL I KNOW relapse is always a moment away...so I PRAY like hell and depend on my wife and REAL friends here on the forum who been there...I don't EVER want to chase the "Dragon" again.....I want to stay "LEAN,CLEAN and SERENE" I've found it to be mydrug of choice now. God gets me high and always could but I was too blind to see. Anyway, Bless you and I'll keep you in my heart and prayers dude! We'll have to compare some notes.......Uriah Heap..damn, I'm gonna have to go dig up some vinyl now and dream a little dream...naturally of course :-)
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wizard

[Angelica]

I've been on 20mgs 2x a day for almost two months.  I had to take two naps this week, HAD TOO, not wanted too.  I have been feeling realy bad,almost like the life is drained out of me. A friend of mine suggested anemia(sp?)? I was just wondering if this is a side effect of this medicine, like maybe I'm not taking it regularly, or something.....man, I don't know, but I hate this feeling. Really dragged out by the time the evening gets here.  Just thought I would ask you guys, cause I don't know what the hell is going on????.......uh, or am I experiencing mild withdrawals, cause after I take it, I feel better???

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

More importantly, how are you feeling?  Doing the math in my head, it looks like you've gone down from a possible 580 percs to about 360 in that time period. What happened on the 11th that you only had 14? J.B.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I suffer from anemia and yes, I get winded pretty easily. Maybe you should have some blood work done.

After two months on Oxy, you've probably developed quite a tolerance. It happened to me with Vicodin and later Tylox. At any rate I'd talk to my doctor(if you can trust him)about changing the dosage. I always feel reluctant about asking for more or stronger meds but so far my doctor has been very good about this. I also keep a "pain journal" on my computer which I print out before every Dr's visit. He likes my journal and it makes things a whole lot easier for both of us.

Hope you can get some help and start feeling better!  J.B.

[chessclock]

thanks for all the support gang!
OK,
     Here is the tally for one week. Don't know if it's good, bad, or indifferent,but your opinion would mean the world to me! I've broken it down to the equivalent of #'s of regular percocette .
thanks,
J.B.
June:
7th....73
8th....77
9th....50
10th...42  
11th...14
12th...26
13th...22
14th...26
At this juncture I certainly could use even more advise and support! Special thanks to David for walking me through this!

[Angelica]

It makes perfect sense, and here I was thinking I understood everything about tolerence and dependance.  So whats happening is I've built up a tolerance (rather quickly) and my body is requiring more.......so this is how it all starts.  I don't want to take anymore...so maybe I should just slack off for a while, and then the regular dose will work again.....what do you think?
By the way....I saw the new pain doc today,and he's a winner!  Very informed, and educated......In many areas,incl. neuropharmocology.  We had a 4 hour visit, but didn't think to tell him about my tiredness.....I'll discuss that w/ him next time, or I may go see my pcp, just to rule out anemia.
Good to hear from you JB.
Angelica

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I play a little game with myself everyday with my pain meds. Mornings are the worst part of the day for me as I'm in withdrawals. I try to wait as long as possible before popping the first pill despite the urge. Even one hour makes all the difference in how my day will go for me. At the least, it gives me time to rethink what I'm doing to myself. I'm usually nauseated by 5 AM and pretty cloudy...so I will do something to get my mind focused for the day. Make coffee,mop the floor,do a crossword puzzle, whatever and wait as long as you can.

Luckily for me, I end up with surplus meds at the end of the month. No brag, just fact! This type of existance takes quite some time to come into being. Somehow I learned that these God(doctor's) given meds have to be respected and that I have to be responsible for my usage. I love you, my friend! J.B.

[Milo]

Angelica, I'm so happy you found a good pain doctor. Having just been treated like a naughty child for taking 20 Vicodin in a month (!), I'm glad you've found someone who can work with you constructively. Re tapering to reduce tolerance: I don't know if it works for opiates, but it definitely works for benzo's. When I could tell that my daily dose was losing its effect, I cut back, and sure enough, it started working again. At one point I was taking 1/4 mg of Ativan, and it worked! Ah, for those days...
J.B., you're absolutely right about treating meds with care & respect. I haven't quite mastered that art yet, but since my psychiatrist keeps a pretty good watch on my benzo scripts, I have no choice but to be responsible. Well, somewhat responsible anyway! May you one day live w/o pain & discomfort -- Milo

[Daveoo]

Hello, I don’t know if you all can stand another Oxy story but here is mine.   It started last fall with Lorecet.  I should tell you I have a herniated disc and two that are almost completely gone.  At about this past Christmas a friend of mine told me I will get a better buzz from Oxycontin.  I asked my dr for it and he gave it to me.  I kept increasing my dose due to getting immune  that I got myself up to taking 6-8 40’s a day.  All chewed.  I am 37, don’t drink don’t smoke.  Used to rung 3 or 4 times a week 3 or 4 miles a time.  I would lift weights at least four times a week.  I have never had a drug or drinking problem in my life.  This just got hold of me and I wanted more and more.  I was getting sick to, like I would get the stomach flue bad.  And then about a month ago I was diagnosed with severe pneumonia.  I assume my immune system is shot from all the Oxy’s.  My doctor would tell me not to take more then 80 mgs in the morning and 80 at night.  Well I would have that dose gone by noon.  Of course my prescription would run out way to soon and I would call my doctor.  He would chew me out and I would promise to quit it and he would give me more.  Well I ran out last Thursday, my doctor said he would not give me anymore.  I begged with him and told him the with drawls would kill me.  All he said was that he would let the ER know I might be coming in with severe with drawls.  I was scared to death, and then I got the idea to call a doctor that I know as kind of an acquaintance.  I told him the doctor stopped giving them to me with out weaning me off.  I didn’t tell hem I was taking to many.  He said “ok, you have one shot at this”.  He put me on 40 mg three times a day for one week and then 20 mg three times a day for the next week.  I am on my third day of this dose that is half what I’m used to.  The first thing I did was quit chewing them.  I have been sticking to it.  I take the dose at 9:00 am 3:00 pm and 9:00 pm.  The with drawls are something I cant even put in words.  The says it is flue like, I would rather have the flue.  I guess all I can say is some times I want to just cut of my legs and rip my skin off.  Anyway, I have stuck with it.  When I take a dose (not chewed) the symptoms are gone in an hour and they stay gone for about 4 hours then they slowly come back.  It seams better today.  Our local news paper has a front page story about Oxycontin killing people all over the country.  They say its like heroin.   I was clean cut and took vitamins daily and it got me.  Because of that article I don’t want to wait for the 40’s to run out I just want to go on to the 20’s to get it over with.  I know I can’t cheat because I have no where else to get them after this kind person helped me out.  Besides I want off them more then anything in the world.  I HATE OXYCONTIN!!!!  I feel sorry for every addict I ever looked at in disgust.  I’m sorry to all of them.  I would love some encouragement.  Good luck to us all  ***@****

[niccee]

I can relate. I never drank, smoked or did any kind of drug until I was 30 years old and had some medical problems. I ended up on methadone maintenance. I also have had thearpy and gone to AA and NA. Methadone is not for everyone, but I think AA or some type of program and thearpy will help most addicts. I am sure the people on this site will chime in. I have not been on for very long, but they are really smart and have been very helpful. Good luck.

[Milo]

I can relate to your story too. I never smoked (except weed maybe a dozen times in my life), rarely drank (overdoing it one time was enough to teach me my lesson!), etc. I even managed benzo's responsibly -- I remember one bottle of them turned to dust because I left them sitting there without using them for so long. Then -- God help me -- I consulted a doctor about headaches. He gave me Fioricet, and things went to hell from there. I wish you well in tapering. It sounds like you have the determination to go through with it. On another thread, Thomas has a tried & true recipe for getting through withdrawal as painlessly as possible. I hope it's of help to you, & that you find release from this nightmare soon. -- Milo

[cindi]

i think you have found the right place....yes we do have to humble ourselves as you have done....addiction has no boundaries,,,it strikes anyone and anytime....all races, religions and genders...your story is very typical of alot of people that fall victim to the opiates....the dependance sneaks up on us and before you know it we are battling the "dragon" as wizard calls it....stick around...take advice..run with it...and never be afraid to say "I need help"  we have all been there..one thing you will quickly learn about the people here on this forum is we all genuinely care,,no judging anyone here...we are all in this together....love to all   cindi

[cindi]

Hey there  girlie girl,,,,i'm glad your doc visit went well,,,can I tell you something that may be some of cindi's "food for thought"  re: your tiredness?   as a rule,  when we have a chronic pain condition it is not uncommon for us to be constantly fatigued and tired.....I know you suffer from pain...this more than likely is the source of your fatigue...sometimes antidepressants can help combat the fatigue....maybe you might want to check into some vitamin B12 shots....I noticed when my back is really bothering me or my whole body is killing me from this fibromyalgia I am exhausted  I feel like I haven't slept...just something to think about.....love ya angel     cin

[chessclock]

hello friends!
     Weekend was nice. Hop0e yours was too. As for the weaning. Here goes. Sat and Sun. did equivalent of 30 perc/day. Trying to stabilize to level of comfort before decreasing med. Make sense?
Trying to end this comfortably where I do not abuse again,
Luck to be alive!,
J.B.

[skipper]

Daveoo:
welcome to this forum. as others have said you are not alone with
your problem. i'm a covicted drug felon who cleaned up my hand for
18 some years and fell under the spell of oxy. i should have known
beter-- intractable pain from 2 surgical procedures (cervicl spine)
reduced me to one pathetic SOB. i don't kow if i can beat this thing. after spending the week end visiting my father who is dying
and lives 3 1/2 hours away my pain went over +10. This thing is
really affecting my marriage.my Wife & I both see seperate counselers at my pain clinic. tis morning i go to see the pain
dock. i still don't know if i will come clean and get honest with
him. i feel awfull about this as he has been nothing but good
people to me.

                         hang in there--skipper

[cindi]

about 6 years ago I was charged with 12 felonies stemming from diverting narcotics from the hospital where I worked...5 years prior to that I went into treatment.....I know how you feel.....I am  also in alot of constants chronic pain and my doc does prescribe me vicodin and I take norco also....I have tried oxy's and they are very scary for me.....for obvious reasons...is there any way you can taper off these things?  or go to detox? chad swears the inpatient route is the best for detox from oxy's...can your doc help you wean off?  keep us inofrmed on what's goin on with you   good luck    love to all   cin

[Daveoo]

My tapering is going very well.  Its now Monday.  I tried to get a hold of the doctor that gave me the chance to wean off the Oxy’s to let him know I want to go down to the 20mg’s now and not at the end of the week.  I just want to get it over with and the craving is gone, just a little side affects left.  I cant believe how fast I lost the craving for that buzz.  I hope it stays gone, I guess my logic is I have only had a problem with craving it since Christmas and so I’m not a long time user.  What helps me is I know I have no choice but to quit.  I have no more doctor’s that I can turn to and I live in an area with a very small population.  I don’t think I could find them on the street.  I would not know where to go anyway.  So like it or not, next week I will no longer be taking Oxycontin.  Also, this may sound nuts.   The more these side affects go away the less my back hurts.  Explain that to me.  I will look back on this experience as just that, an experience.  I will always look back at this page now.  I feel so sorry for people in this boat.  I learned a very, very valuable lesson with this.  Dave is my real name.  I had to add the oo because dave was taken.

[Angelica]

.......Are you from FLa.??  I think Cins headed your way.  LOL
Real quick:  Have a safe trip, Cindi.  Glad your feeling better, and you've got a good dr. and a diagnosis to boot.  Take care!

Now about those darn Oxys.....I think you've hit the nail on the head....I've never really experienced withdrawals before, and if I did I wasn't sure what the hell was going on...lol  I think I plateau'd, and the ole bod was wanting more.  I'm usually very conservative w/ the meds in the past, but never had this happen...the tired dragged out feeling.  I think I have it figured out???  I reversed my schedule, and I'm feeling much better about things.  Ya see, I was waiting as long as possible to take the Oxy.....like 3:00 or 4:00.  Then I was energized, and (probably warding off withdrawals too), pain free.  So, naturally I wanted to stay up till 2:00 in the morning doing everything from housecleaning to bookwork(I work inside my home)etc  etc.  Well, this was causing problems w/ the hubby, cause He was bright eyed and bushy tailed in the mrning, and I felt like I had been run over by a freight train  lmao.  So this is the first day, and I'm feeling just about ready for bed....I think this will work out.  I've taken 2 today.....Thats my limit.
Sorry your having all this trouble......what exactly did your husband do to his back??  Thanks for the info.  I really appreciate it.

[jennyfla]

Wow, that's wonderful that's the reversed schedule is working out for you!
These oxy's are so strange, they are very hard to figure.
I used to abuse them only in the evenings, but slowly started to experience w/d earlier and earlier, and now i've crossed over into the addict world unfortuately.  It's my lame way of dealing with my life, and it has to stop!
I do have to say one thing for myself, i've had enough to really abuse, but i've been able to hold back somewhat (for now), but unfortuately, chasing the high can creep up on a person so quickly, before you know it, your in deep.  They are awful for the addictive types like me and my husband; just too easy to get caught up in it!
Yes, Cindi is headed my way, although on the other coast, i think she'll be about 3 hours away.  I'm so happy for her, i know she's really been looking forward to this trip, i know she's gonna have a blast!
My husband has had a number of falls and damaged his back over time.  He's not really too bad off, unless it's turned into something more by now, i really wonder as much as he's been complaining about it lately.  I think a lot of it is attributed to the abuse, and i think his body is basically run down and tired from it all.  He also has a strenuous job; he's a marine mechanic, and this florida heat and the positions and manuvouring he must do with his job doesn't help his situation.  I really feel for him, and wish he could change his profession, but unfortuately, that is his only skill, and nothing else would pay as much.  It is something he is working on though, and hopefully, he will find an answer.  Basically, he is pretty much trapped right now, not quite well enough mentally to even pursue something else; it's very painful to watch.
I don't have the answers for him, i only wish he could get back into rehab and get himself cleaned up again, he struggles so much with his addiction, it really has a strong hold on him.
We have three children, and we need his paycheck in order to survive.  I work fulltime also, but can't support everyone on my pay alone.  I wish there was some sort of disability he could receive while he was trying to straigthen himself out, it's a terrible trap!  
I pray that an answer will come, and that god will give us both the strength to do what is needed to become well again.
Good luck to you, you sound like you are getting more of a handle on your pain and functioning in your daily life.
Best wishes for you!
Lv Jenny

[skipper]

Daveoo:
i'glad to hear things are going so well for you! i would however
caution you about taking your dose down to fast. why not relax
and let your doctor set the pace. one of the hardest things most
addicts have to do is get out of the drivers seat and let someone
else take control for a while. you'll do whatever you want, but
you might consider who the doctor is, and that you have made the
decision to trust him.
cindi:
went to my pain doc and asked him to take over my pain control.
before the neuro-surgeon had been doing it. i had to sign a contract with this guy. no street drugs, no other docters writing.
he put me on 40 mgs oxycontin every 12 hours. also up to 5 oxy-ir
a day. i also have to take a table spoon of dextromethorphan with
each dose of oxy contin. He recomended Delsym.This delsym stuff taste very much like tussonex (spelling) suspension. any of you
guys remember that stuff? anyhow i walked of his office with a script for 60 oxycontin and 90 oxy ir. scares the **** out of me
to have this amount of dope in my house. i don't know if i mentioned my house was broken into 3 days before surgery. the only items stolen were perscription drugs oxy, valium, lorcet,
and flexeril. pluss the fact that tend to get many days ahead
of the prescribed dose. i took out 4 days worth and put the rest
in my wife bank safety deposit box. hopefully they will be safe
there,and as i can't yet drive yet somehat difficult for my
junky paws to get at. i go back to see the pain dock next month.
i know he plans to knock me down 10 mgs. i'm not quite sure, but
i think my dose of dextro will be increased. i also will start
on tegretol for the periphal (spelling) nerve damage. it seems
like a awfully long detox, buy it will probably comfortable. my
wife (she is not a junky) has already in formed me that she isn't
going to play DEA agent so it's just me and the pain clinic people. by the way, whats norco? i now live in the upper midwest
and never heard of it. i used to pride myself for knowing every-
thing about drugs except how to get off them.
skipper isn't my real name. my nickname i've been called all my
life has 4 less letters but is otherwise the same. my real name
is richard,but i've never answered to it.

                  hey everone be carefull
                         sKIPper

[cindi]

The things we go through either to use or not to use.....Norco is hydrocodone 10 mg/325 mg of tylenol  a bigger dose of hydro than vicodin ES but less tylenol....with dropping your dose of oxy slowly you will be much better off....and yes I remember tussionex well.........and the feeling....i ahve to run   tons of stuff to do before i leave in the morning but I hope all goes well with you....I will be in touch even from my vacation spots  LOL  gotta keep in touch with the people that mean so much to me    Love to all   cin

[Angelica]

......Ya know JB, I kinda do the same thing.  But I will try to reverse my schedule, because I need my energy more in the day and morning.  This is what I was doing;  Morning One vicodin es......I would wait as long as possible (pain and all) till about 4:00....take my 20mg Oxycontin.....then take another around 11:00 or so.  I am finding myself very energetic during this time span.  So what I'm gonna do is take the Oxy in the morning......and late after noon and take the Vicodin at bedtime.  I have my sleep patterns all messed up.  I will eventually try to cut back to 1 Oxy a day, just to ward off the tolerance.  I tell ya, I can see how this gets out of control, because(im not one to take meds to chase a high) your not even taking the meds for pain relief.........you end up taking them just to feel better or just O.K.  This is how it all begins.  I truly understand now.  You don't even have to be an addict.  It grabbs hold of you no matter what.  You all have helped me tremedously, and I will be very careful.  I can't get where some of our friends have been......I just can't.  Now that I have this medication, I have to be very careful.  You all will help me to do that, right? lol  It has been a life saver for me though, cause I can't even rem. what it's like to have the pain nagging at you from morning till night.  I can put up w/ bouts of pain everynow and then, but not all day.  Thanks JB!
Love ya!
Angelica
Thanks to you too, Milo.....we can get through all this mess together.

[Angelica]

.......Hey chick-a-dee! When in the world did you get diagnosed w/ fibromyalgia??????? I'm am really in the potatoes(lost in the smoke)lmao.........or whatever.  Just really out of it lately.  Tell me more, please, or you doing ok now? phew! man.....I didn't even know.
Your right about the energy deal and pain.  I've given myself a little preview of how advance my pain and condition is getting since I've been masking the pain for several months now, and it's not a pretty sight.  I'm having nerve pain, and pain I've never had before......My condition has definately progressed.  I don't really want to take anti-depressants......I'm finding myself, already getting ticked at the meds im on.  I will start taking my vitamins again.......and drinking my vitamin shakes.  I have also reversed my medicine schedule.  This might help.  Thanks for the advice.....kit
Love you sister!
Angelica

[cindi]

Hey  chickie chick....about a month and 1/2 ago she diagnosed me with the Fibromyalgia I thought I told you  lOL    maybe not quite that long ago...anyway  she also did an MRI and it showed alot of **** in my lower back.well,  not really ****  but you know what I mean  LOL.now she has no problem with the pain medication     some days I feel better than others....i hope you get things squared away.....I know how hard it must be for you as far as the pain and the meds etc...you sure have had your share of struggles with all you've been through  hey, I leave in the morning...NC then Florida.....I'll try if I have time to send you some mail before I go  if not I'll get ya from there I have access to a few different computers LOL    hey JB  I just read what you wrote about trying the heroin but it being illegal etc...LOL  that is funny because during the time I was shooting my body full of demerol etc...I would never ever think of snorting coke  LOL  I didn't want to become and addict.....strange huh?   ok guys  about 19 hours to go      love to all   cin   (angelica's older sis,  Charlie's other angel  LOL)

[jennyfla]

I was reading back through this thread, and wanted to respond about your tired feeling.
I was experiencing this bigtime when i tried to cut back on the oxys and loracets back a couple of weeks ago.  I'm better now because i decreased my dose and my bodies' adjusted for the time-being that is, that's unless i start getting very abusive with these things again.
Anyway, i believe what you are experiencing is a withdrawal effect for sure.  Your body is getting use to the dose and wants more, or you've cut back a little bit and your body doesn't like it.
These oxy's are a strange beast, and i spend a lot of time trying to figure out exactly how they work and what effects they have on the body.
My husband is a bigtime addict, and i've been watching him closely for a long time.  Nothing i do short of throwing him out of the house does much to control his habit, so i might as well learn from it and see if i can help him in any way possible.  Unfortuately, part of my way of dealing with this addiction was to numb myself too, so now i am an addict too!  :(
Good luck to you, and i feel sorry for your pain you experience.
My husband also suffers from back pain, but i'm not sure if that would go away if he were to quit all the meds, kind of like a withdrawal effect (achy everything)!!!  Not in your case i'm sure, but i know my husband would be much better off without the drugs, they change him into someone i don't even know.
Good luck to you!!!
Lv Jenny

[Angelica]

...I'm not sure if this will help, and I haven't had to do this yet, but I was told to call a social security disability attorney (you really need this these days, because of all the problems w/ ssi), and ask them about making a claim for disability.  They will fight for you.  It doesn't cost a thing, because they will get compensated from the settlement only if they win. He will probably need a doctor to put a percentage on his disability, like I'm 25 or 30% total body, disabled.  The reason the # is so low, is because if I'm ever in another accident, I won't be declared.....fully disabled already. Then he can apply for a vocational rehabilitation grant to go back to school.  Depending on how disabled he is, the grant will pay for everything.  If he hurt his back from doing this type of work, he really needs to consider a new field.  He could get the vocational rehab grant now, because it doesnt consider household income...only disability.  I was in college when I got into this mva, and this is why I know about these procedures....but, I never went back to college, I decided to help my husband w/ his business instead.  Take care!
Angelica

[jennyfla]

Wow, great information, thank you so very very much!!!!
I will definately look into this.
He has a dr who gives him steriod injections which are supposed to strengthen his back, but he doesn't feel any relief from them at all.
They are $400 a shot, and he's about fed up with getting shot in the back.
He's a bigtime addict, i think they designed the term after studying him, he's really bad!!!
I only wish he had the strength to resolve his 'problem' so he could get well and live happy again.  He is so caught up in the world of addiction, he doesn't even know how to 'feel' anymore.  I feel with my addiction, it's not anywhere near as bad, so i really am able to 'feel' many things still.  I only pray mine doesn't get worse.  I know i'm playing with fire, but i am also trying to get a handle on it.
Thank you again for the info, at least this is something to strive towards, i feel there is some hope somewhere.
Take care!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

Going back to your disability post, i have a few questions for you.  I was just wondering how much disability benefits actually pay?  I work full-time, but with three children to support, i just don't make enough, and he would still need quite a bit of an income for us to survive, that's my fear.  Not to mention the medical bills that have piled up.  Right now, we have 11 of them to pay, although none of them are huge, they still all want something each month.  They are bills from my husband, daughter, and me.  I dislocated my finger end of last year, and have a hospital/finger dr/rehabilitation for my finger, to pay.  My daughter feel off a bike last month, and had to go to the er for a catscan because she bumped her head hard.  We now have all those charges to pay, minus what the insurance picked up, but still, you know how that goes.  I have two separate bills for an u/s i just had last month because i feared something was very wrong with me, i had a bad ache in my side and feared my addiction was taking it's toll on my liver/pancreas.  I looked fine, thank god, but did have slight elevated levels on one of my pancreas enzymes.  Dr said it could be pancreatis, so i came clean and fessed up about everything.  He was just so wonderful about everything, and is very knowledgeable about addiction.  I may need him again some time soon for my husband.  He's an internal dr. and really knows his stuff.
Another question, what my husband really needs is to go back to rehab.  He went to a 28-day program back 2 1/2 years ago at a wonderful rehab here in Florida.  He really needs to go back and get straightened out before he dies.  I know the pills and alcohol are really taking their toll on his body, not to mention the real pain he experiences from his back.  The dr believes it could be athritis in is back from injuries.
Can you give me any idea on how much disability pays, i just fear it's not much and how would be survive.  The idea of him getting retrained for a different occupation would be a dream come true.  There are so many different things he could do, and with the training in another field, he would still make the kind of money we would need to survive.  Possibilty the medical field as a tech of some sorts would be wonderful.  Anything that wouldn't require him to have to be in all kinds of wacky positions bending over in the heat of the florida sun.  He just can't take it anymore!
Ideally, if he could get this all approved, and go to a rehab, get cleaned up, go to school, and get retrained so he wouldn't feel so trapped anymore, i think he might be able to deal with the addiction.  I don't think he would need the pain meds if he wasn't working his back so much day after day.  Anyway, he just can't handle pain meds, he is just way to addictive and cannot handle them at all.  He just isn't the type of person who can take any kind of drug and get away with it.  He needs more and more and more, and more is never enough.
Any ideas sweetie, i appreciate your help like you just don't know.  I feel there is hope now, maybe there is a way out before it kills him.
Thank you again!
Lv Jenny

[Kerrie]

Hi Girls,
  I was reading your suggestion to Jennyfla and I know a little about this so I thought I'd share what I know.
  My husband was a heavy equipment mechanic and suffered to injuries in the last ten years. The last one was to his spine. He can walk thank God, but with a limp. He has awful pain and had a nervous breakdown because he wasn't able to go back to work. Being unable to support his family took it's toll on him. He was seeing a psychiatrist for depression and the effect of living with pain and no longer being the provider. We applied for his social securiety and was turned down .This is usual for everyone. He appealed each time and then got a lawyer when it was time. He got his. This is a long process and nerve shattering. I didn't have enough points to draw social securiety but was drawing SSI after I was diagnosed in 1990 was my disease. It stopped when his SS started. I recieve nothing but my son draws a check untill he turns 18 or graduates. He draws 50% of the amount my husband draws. Your children will draw the same. Example; Say your husband draws a check for 1000.00 each month. Your children will recieve a check each in their own name with your husbands also for a total of 500.00. This will remain untill you last child marries or turns 18.They can draw after age 18 as long as their a full time student in school grade 1-12. Not colledge. I could draw a check along with my son but it would still be for a total of 50% regardless. Then mine would stop when my sons stops. So I told them to just put it all in my sons check. My son will be 18 in October but he won't graduate untill next May. I don't know how we are going to make it then. I can't work and I can't draw off my husband even though I'm permanently disabled.
   If you choose to go this route Jennyfla, if your husband will start seeing someone (psychatrist) it will greatly help his case. Also, his being addicted could help his case. I'm sorry for your troubles. I know how hard it is. Your in my prayers.
   Angelica, I'm glad your getting help for your pain. I stay so tired. But I don't ever get enough rest. I know this is part of my problem. The pain is there day and night. I'm still just taking 3 lortabs (7.5) a day but having to take one during the night  now. I know I need to get something stronger but like you, it does concern me. But the pain is pulling me down so I know I have to do something. God bless you and your all in my prayers.
     Love,
         Kerrie  

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I found your comments on Social Security Disability interesting.  I am on SSDI, myself.  I agree about the nerve wracking frustration of getting accepted.  As for me, it took the help of an orthopedic, a rheumatologist, a psychriatric, a gastroenterologist and finally my family doctor to get the okay.  This all took eight months with an initial turndown.  I got my first check during the ninth month and a large retro paycheck about 90 days later. I only threatened to involve an attorney.  The point is, get all the documentation you can and try to stay on top of things.  Everybody gets turned down the first go around so refile immediately. The MGH website has a SS forum that was very helpful to me during all of this waiting game.  J.B.

[cindi]

Hi girls,   All of you  LOL    my sister's  LOL  just wanted to drop in to say hi.....I think my husband is going to have to fly eown and get me,,there is no way in hell I am doing the mountains again...NC is beautiful and tomorrow dad is taking us to florida....my kids are having a blast,,I did read all the posts and I really don't have anything to add.....you guys are great and helpful....this is what we are here for....to stand by each other..you are all a great bunch of girls and I love you all     cin

[Angelica]

....I was just getting ready to tell you that I don't know all the details  about SSI, and then I scrolled down and saw Kerri and JBs post/reply.  This is what I love about this site.  We are like one big family, and there is always someone here to answer your questions w/ knowledge, care and concern.  I don't even get that from my own family.....just hassles(I seem to be there ROCK), but here, I almost feel awkward at times, because I not used to getting information/help w/o someone wanting something in return.  I love you all a great deal, and thank you for coming to the rescue, yet once again!
Love,
Angelica (:

PS/Jennyfla- You need to jump on this right away,cause if there is one thing I know, its: this takes a while to go through.  It's a fight, but one you certainly can win.....Get the ball rolling!

[jennyfla]

Thank you ladies so much for your help!!!
I'm so sorry about your situation Kerrie, i know that must be do difficult to have such pain, and also the problems of money and you're husband's troubles too!  I'll say a little prayer for you that things will work out once the money stops.
My husband sees a pyschiatrist for depression and anxiety, not to mention his addiction.  He just isn't a strong person and falls apart easily.
I feel for him and his pain, but also worry about us (the children), and hope for a secure and safe home for them too.
It's so difficult, but i know things will work out some way.  We are both 'good' people, and i think as long as you are a good person in this world, things have a way of working out; although scarey and very difficult at times, the goodness prevails!
Good luck to you both and thank you so much for your information!
Lv Jenny

[jennyfla]

I did want to tell you that i spoke to a legal assistant today, and she told me it would be difficult to get benefits since he is currently working, but did say to apply.  He will get turned down, but apply again and then contact them.  We can't afford for him not to work is the problem.
I wonder if that will get us anywhere with him working.
Your information was wonderful, more than i ever hoped to hear; this forum amazes me, i thank god for all of you!!!
Can he qualify by working i wonder, and should we mention the depression and anxiety and being treated my a pyschatrist, and also the addiction.  I wonder how that will go over with social security.
I know it will take time, but it's worth a try, but he can't not work.
Thanks sweetie.
Good luck!
Lv Jenny

[ssfr]

Just the facts:

(1) Social Security disability  requires that one has enough work credits- those are often referred to as "quarters of coverage" or simply "QCs".  The number of QCs one needs is contingent upon their age, but generally someone 31 years of age or older needs 5 years of work out of the last 10 years. Payments are made from the social security trust funds.  Hopefully common sense will prevail- all those who call for privitizing the social security programs must be made to understand that a young worker whose social security contributions are invested in the private sector (i.e. stock market), and who becomes disabled at a relatively early age, will not have enough invested to support the family for even a few months, let alone the rest of that workers life if that worker continues to be disabled.

(2) Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is a disabilty program administered by the Social Security Administration- it has no work (QC) requirements, but rather is for those whose income and resources fall below certain levels. SSI is not funded through the social security trust funds, but through general revenues of the federal government.

(3) Both programs mentioned above are disability programs that assume that one cannot work- that is, they are disabled to work- that is why they are called disability programs. Recent legislation somewhat liberalized the rules, in that someone can actually have limited earnings and still qualify for social security- provided they are actually disabled to work- from a medical viewpoint.

(4) Neither drug addiction or alcoholism can be considered when deciding whether one meets the definition of disability or not.

(5) The assertion that is often made that "everyone" who applies for social security disability is turned down initialily is patently false- nationwide, approximately 23 % of first time applicants are approved.  Approximately 5% more are approved at the second appelate step (referred to as a reconsideration), and then 20-70% of the those who appeal to the third appelate step (referred to as a hearing) are allowed- the percentage is a direct function of where in the country the applicant resides- the hearing step is not performed by the Social Security Administration- but done by an agency that is totally independent from the Social Security Administration (the Office of Hearings and Appeals-aka OHA)- oftimes many, many applicants are approved enmasse by OHA- perhaps to clear the desks of the decision makers- the Administrative Law Judges- anyway- this oftimes leads to mistaken conclusions that the original decision to deny benefits was wrong- who benefits from all this? Primarily the attorneys who get their large chunk of the pie, unscruplous doctors and psychiatrists who write fraudlent reports about so-called disabled patients, and the applicant themselves- who quite often just want to sit home, and let society take care of them- this is not to say that there are not many, many disabled folks who have contributed into the social security system, and who are legitimately disabled and thus deserve every single penny they can get- but workers and taxpayers alike should grow weary of all those who can work, but just want a free ride- and let the wantabee freeloaders know that the system cant support everybody- after all- somebody has to work and pay in-
anyway- I am only posting this to help clear up some of the social questions posted earlier in this thread- hope it is informative.

[Angelica]

Thanks for this info ss........Jennyfla this is where your husband falls:
(2) Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is a disabilty program administered by the Social Security Administration- it has no work (QC) requirements, but rather is for those whose income and resources fall below certain levels. SSI is not funded through the social security trust funds, but through general revenues of the federal government

[jennyfla]

thank you so much for the information.
Not really sure my husband should take this route, but it's always good to have all the information possible because making a decision, and taking this route.
I feel my husband back is getting increasingly worse with each passing day.  He's had some bad falls in recent years, and the dr feels it's turned arthritic from injuries.
His type of work is physically demanding, and i'm just trying to prepare in cause the day comes where he just can't work in his field any longer.
He would like to get away from so much physical work by moving into a service management or warranty position, but his illness (addiction) is holding him back mentally, big time.
I fear from his mental health more than anything right now, and for the stability of my family, not mention the toll this is taking on my mental state these days.  Luckily, my job is not too stressful, but i am very much afraid of my job stability, as our company is not doing well at all and i fear a layoff (we're already had one).
I just see my husband getting increasing worse, and i wanted to investigate all possible avenues just in case something where to happen.
There are no easy answers, this time of my life is one of the most difficult i have ever experienced, and feel myself getting sicker and sicker as things get more and more unsure!
Thank you again for the information!
Lv Jenny

[skipper]

hey there everone:
this will be a shot post. After getting way ahead on my oxy rx i've
decided to detox for awhile. If i contnue going at the present rate
of consumption I'll run out weeks to soon. I can go off when i run
out or let my pain doc find out. If i go the latter route I'll be
tossed out. i believe it is better to fall down & call a time out
then to have the  rug pulled out from under with out warnning. i
have seen much good advice since i started reading and posting to
this forum. yesterday i was cleaning out the stash box and i found
a bottle of 60 hydrocodone 5 mgs. tabs. i don't know how i could
have fogotten about them. straight hydro, nothing else. instead of
my morning blast of oxy i/ve taken 20 mgs. of hydro and a 10 mgs of
valium. it is now 11:00 A.M. & I'm not feeling to bad yet. the best
part about this is i decided to do it myself. not my wife, the doc,
or anyone else forced me into this decision. going to try some of the postings about vitamins and see how that goes. don't if i'll be
able to do this or for how long. the pain from my neck surgery is
hovering around +7. i'm depending on some support please.
thankyou for the support so far
skipper

[Wizard]

Skipper, I'm so sorry it took so long for anyone to get back to you. I just found this post buried down a ways on the forum. First I want to thank you for responding to me up above. The support was greatly needed. Here you are hurting too. I can really relate to what you said about the reoccuring desires for the"Dragon". Just reading the responses and the other posts though was enough to stifle it mentally for me. I hope all is well for you as I know you have a long road ahead of you. Just keep focused and determined to beat this. Strive for the light and you'll be able to make it. I believe in the power of God to help when we ask for it. May Gods peace be with you skipper, I'll be praying for you!
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wizard

[jennyfla]

Good luck with your detox, i hope it works out for you, stay strong, and i'm sorry about your neck pain, that must be awful.
I was taking oxys before my vacation, and left for the week with intentions of only taking my loracets .5 mg at a time.  I would take .5 around 12ish, then another around 3ish, then another around 5ish, and that was it.  I felt the w/d a bit during the first few days, just mainly tired feeling, but ok.  After about 2-3 days, i was doing ok on that amount, total of 15 mgs.  I wasn't able to get under that without starting to feel some w/d, but i stayed very comfortable with only a total of 15 mg each day.  The only problem i had was sleeping, and i only took a tiny bit of xanax to help with that, but otherwise, i was starting to feel great, and the main thing was, i was starting to really 'feel' again.  I blew it when i returned home into the depressing world of my husband's troubles, but i was doing great.  I feel i was just about ready to cut .5 mg back, and so on...
This is definately the way to go as far as having the least w/d, and if you are strong, and really stay with your dosage, you can do it definately.
I was up to about 60 mg of oxys each day (crushed), i don't remember your dosage, but i was really doing ok.
I hope this helps give you some encouragement.  If i can help you in any way, please let me know, i'm here for you!!!!
Lv Jenny

[skipper]

Jenny: thankyou for your post of concern & encouragement. it really
helps to know i don't go thru this addiction stuff alone. i must say i really admire your cuttin back with the lorcet when on vacation. i seem to remember you talking of it in another post a
while ago. i guess coming back & fallin back in with oxy contin
must have been a bit discouraging. i know i really have trouble keeping a lid on my narcotic intake. being in pain really complicates it. tomarrow i have to go see my neurosurgeon for my
6 week post surgery x-ray study. a lot of things hinge on this. if
there is evedence of bone growth at the fussion site. if there is,
goodby brace, hello driving,& back to work. if there isn,t any bone growth i don,t know what next. getting old and having parts of your body wear out isn't anything i ever planned on. i really don't
want to get a case of the "poor me". my keeshound just came up to
the computer & let me know that it was time for him to take me on
walk.

be careful
skipper

[jennyfla]

Your pain must be so hard to deal with.
Funny about you saying in another post about your wife not liking you too much when you take oxys.  My husband always thought he was being great and wonderful while intoxicated with them, but the total opposite.  He can be a regular a-hole at times, especially when he takes too much!!!!!!!  and then wants more!!!!!!!!!!!!  Look out!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Not a nice scene at all!!!!
Hope your doctor appointment goes well!
Lv Jenny

[skipper]

just came from x-ray study & evaluation at the neurosurgeon's office. I'M FREE OF THE NECK BRACE!! the spinal fussion looks good
so far! back to work july 9 (half days for the first 2 weeks). can
hardly contain my happiness. it's been an up hill fight since may 14. Would like to thank everyone for support thru some very dark
times. will post more later, want to find out how it feels to drive
my truck!

[Wizard]

Way COOL man! Reading that news just now makes me know that prayers can be answered! But I didn't have any doubt anyway.Look dude, you take it it easy and take take it a day at a time. Don't want to read that you got so excited that you over did it to soon! Hang in there and I'll still keep you in my prayers.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wizard

[jennyfla]

Yay, i'm so happy for you Skipper!!!!!!!
Now be careful out there driving around in your truck, it's a crazy world out there!!!!  :)
Lv Jenny

[Wizard]

Hi jenny. Did you get my e-mail? I hope I had the right address.
Power & Magick 2 U,
Wiz

[Angelica]

.......I never knew you had SI problems{Re: june 9, posting).  I haven't been as thorough in reading the post as I used to be.  Every now and then I pick a thread and read through it.  I did realize that  you had back problems, but didn't understand it included the SI.  This is one of my major problems.  Widening of the SI joint arthritis/bones spur of which there is no medical surgery or medication to help.  I can say, I know what you are going through, and this pain is a real pain in the you know what!!!!  Thomas is right in what he says, and he always amazes me.....you would think he's a chronic pain patient.  It's like he knows exactly what to say, and I admire that.  Well, I have another pharmacy story:  I went to a small pharmacy to get the Oxys filled, and they told me they were low, and could only fill half.....I said oh, here we go again.  Thanks to this site, I know better.  I had called a few days prior and they told me that a shipment was coming in......well, what the hell did they do??? eat 'em all!!!  So, I hesitated, and told her that I had spoke to one of the pharmacist, and etc etc etc....then she tells me she will be able to fill the whole prescription on Friday.....can you believe this?? Only after I told her I called prior to going there.  Oh well, another day in the life of Oxycontin.  
Your pain pal,
Angelica

PS....Even my husband told me that I should be suspicous of them, and they were probably trying to keep half of my prescription, and he's not all that up to date on this mess/ordeal.