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peaceinknowingare you there

Peaceinknowing are you on the site or anyone that will help me. I am so lost and so trapped. I have missed work today to try and figure out what to do. I went to neuro surgeon yesterday about my back. He has to send me to another dr to have a test to see what disc are involved. Sounds like he can help me someday but it takes time. He wont give pain meds until after surgery. I have 15 pills left. I am shaking because I have cut down the number i take. I am nauseated. I dont know what to do. I am fixing to go into withdrawl and I am scared to death. Drs around here have really cut back on meds since this thing with M jackson and bringing elvis up again. I wont be able to work and even with me working we are fixing to have to file bankruptcy. I have charged up credit cards going to drs and buying my meds. My life is falling apart. I dont think i can live through the withdrawl. I have been taking 25 plus pills a day. please help me
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426217 tn?1249005416
Just take a deep breath :)  It will all work out!  You are very scared, nervous, anxious and it's all normal!  What is wrong with your back to begin with, I mean how did you hurt it and how long and how much pain meds where you on?  

There are a lot of amazing people on this board that have been there in some way or another and completely understand everything you are going through.

How did the talk go with your hubby?

Please keep us posted :)

Kel
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
By the way, after the nausea, L glutamine and L tyrosine really help me with energy and keep the "shakes" away.  Don't know if it's really working or just in my head, but whatever works, right?  Also, don't underestimate the quality of a good laugh.  Sound hard, I know, but I watched my dog chase a rabbit in my back yard earlier ane run into a fence and almost knock himself out.  Stupid humor, I know, but I laughed myself into tears.  First time I've done that in a long time.  I needed it, it reminded me that the world isn't actually ending around me.  I'll come out of it.

PS.  That dog gets a bone tonight! ...............LAUGH.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
For right now, just worry about yourself.  Scratch that, don't worry.  The wd are going to happen, but just look at it as the flu.  I am at 7 days of a 2 1/2 year 12 - 15 habit, originally for pain, then just for the hell of it.  For right now, all we can do is accept what we've done and deal with it.  What are you going to do?  You are going to come out of this stronger than you went in, just like the rest of us, so look forward to this.  This junk is'nt going to define YOU.  Look at the rest of your life without all this junk.  It will be so much better.  I got some good advice for the wd and after from some on this site.  Follow the Amino Protocol on the side of this page.  It really is helping me get along.  Just hang in there.  I'm sure your husband and loved ones would much rather see you healthy, and they will understand.    Keep in touch on this site, NO ONE has let me down here yet!  Let your husband see how many other people are going through this, not just you.  My anxiety level went way down when I saw that I'm not the only one who got addicted.  HUMAN!!!  Not perfect, but doing what I can.  I know you can too!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
please can you tell me the physical feelings with the w/d like nausea or what. what otc things help. I am fixing to go on this horrible  journey and it scares me too death.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Please try not to focus so much on the wd as it will just freak you out.. many times we build it up to such a point that it sounds impossible.. the mind is a powerful tool and right now it is working against you. instead of looking at it this way focus on the good you will be getting out of it.. the freedom from the pills your emotions balanced and your relationships improving along with the pain.. one week you will be feeling like you have the flu and worn down and you will miss sleep but compared to where you are at now. it is a small price to pay.. You are as strong as you believe.. believe in yourself and your war.. if you go into battle you go in with the attitude you will win and survive.. You are getting ready for battle.. I wish you well in your war.. lesa
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Avatar universal
My husband will be home in about an hour. I have to tell him my problem and that I will have to go c/t tomorrow. He is going to be so mad and then he will go into depression and that makes it so hard for me. God I wish I had never got myself into this mess. I have to deal with the physical h--- and his being mad and upset. Plus cant pay bills when I cant work. What do all of you do about these kind of problems? Please tellme what kind of physical feelings you have with withdrawl???
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Precious.  Please, look into acupuncture for the pain.  Google acupuncture for detox and understand how it helps.  Look up Meditation for detox too.  Mind over matter is huge, I have advised this a million times. In 2000 I had a Mastectomy and with the exception of a morphine drip, my one night in the hospital, I had no pain killers of any kind, after a very invasive 9 hour surgery.  I have such a screwed up neck (C1 & C3) I was literally paralyzed on my entire right side at one point in late 2001.  The Dr's thought I had a broken neck.  Neg. X-ray.  Then a stroke.  Neg. MRI. Then Spinal Meningitis.  Neg. Lumbar Tap.  Then a tumor pressing on nerves...  I don't know what their next guess would have been.  After hours of ER and having every test known to mankind, they couldn't figure out what was wrong, and let me tell you I was in a lot of pain.  Of course their answer was pain pills which I flatly refused.  I made them release me from the hospital (I did take a handful of Aleve that night) and after talking with some different friends, I ended up going for acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments.  I have no pain, I'm not paralyzed and I'm not addicted to drugs.  Pain is the body's way of saying back off.  It's a good thing in it's own right.  
So many people here got addicted to pain killers because for starters, when your body has been short-circuited from being able to communicate that "back off" message to your brain, you're likely inducing more harm than you already have, cause your body doesn't know it's hurting itself  - literally.  Secondly, there's no way for the body to communicate whether it even needs the stupid pills anymore, because of the same short circuit.  It doesn't even know it's in pain because you're masking the pain with drugs and in return, you may be taking pain pills when you don't even need them anymore.  That's what causes addiction and then you end up here!
I put time in on this site purely to educate you guys on holistic procedures that work.  My husband died from drug abuse eleven years ago, leaving me with five young children.  I didn't know what I know now.  My now 20 year old son got addicted to Norco after a sports injury and it escalated to shooting up Oxy.  He's been clean for almost a year with all holistic treatments -- after one failed attempt after another using Suboxone, Subutex or CT.  Actually he ended up addicted to Subox along with Oxy and had to go through double w/d.  I didn't know anything about prescription drugs.  I could write a book about it now.  The things I keep writing about are very effective.  Acupuncture alone with not get you through this, but it will help with the craving and pains associated with w/d.  Please start to look for long term solutions.  Too many of you are continuing the struggle by keeping the I can't do this without ______ mindset.  If money is an issue, many holistic practitioners are willing to barter.  Good Luck out there.
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
Your husband will be supportive. I thought my husband was going to literally leave me when I told him that I'd become addicted and dependant on the pills, but he was very supportive and did everything he could to help me through what I went through. He works a lot, and is gone a lot for work -- but that didn't stop him from being by my side. Please try not to be afraid with all of this.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
if you dont mind me asking how  many pills were you taking? I have been taking so many. Yes my anxiety is about to over take me. I have got to tell my husband tonight that I  only have 15 pills left and no where to get any so the withdrawl . has to start now. He is going to be so mad and go into depression which will make it so much worse for me. I just am falling apart. He is going to be so mad. is your family supportive?
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
If you remember when I first signed up, then you remember that I was so afraid of everything that was getting ready to happen to me as well. At first, I was so gun ho about everything -- getting rid of all the pills and taking on the WD symptoms like they were going to be nothing, even when going CT from them -- and the WD was pretty bad the first few days, but it was nothing that any of us couldn't handle. You have to keep  in mind that unfortunately, there are a lot of horror stories out there on the forums here. You also have to keep in mind that there are far more sucess stories than anything else. Everyone is different when it comes to the WDs, you really have to keep this in mind!

A lot of what you're going through is the anxeity that is overcoming you because you know that once the pills are out, you're going to be a different person and it's going to feel as though you're in a different setting. You're going to get through this -- a lot of what you're going through is simply just the nerves of it all. Being scared to go through the WD and being scared that something bad is going to happen during this time. If it's ONE thing you MUST remember, love... It's that nothing negative will ever come from getting off of these pills, I promise you this. You're going to go through WD for a few days, but then you're going to be over the river and through the woods.

If it's one thing I've learned in life, it's summed up in the following three words: it. goes. on.

I love you, and you know that I'm here for you through all of this. PLEASE stay here on the forums and keep posting! PLease!
Helpful - 0
960021 tn?1270662682
I'm right here.. I just saw the post. I just woke up, got to bed late lastnight because I was cleaning up around my place, so let me read the post [if you're here still] and I'll post more.
Helpful - 0
230262 tn?1316645934
is this your first time facing full WD's?

You will make it through. Its no fun but you wont' die. Im on day 3 right now and Ive been thru WD so many times now I could write a damnn book. I wish you well. Hang in there, it wont last forever. You have to try and calm down though, i can feel that your anxiety is through the roof. Your WD will seem worse than it actually is if you freak out bad about it the way you are now. So calm down, relax. You will get through this. All of us here have gone through WD and we can help you through this too.
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi precious.......take a deep breathe right now and try to calm yourself down.  It sounds like your body and mind are going a hundred miles an hour.  You are going to feel like you have the flu......Go into the health pages here, they are on the right hand side of the page and look at the thomas recipe and the amino acid protocol.  Either one of these are helpful.  Dont try and look at the whole picture now....it becomes to overwhelming.  You wont die from wd's....get some gatorade and immodium and bananas.  Keep posting and we will help you thru this....now take another deep breath........sara
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
What I meant was do you have any medical problems like heart disease, etc. It can be dangerous in that instance.

I have gone through withdrawal so many times in my life and may I never have to do it again. Heroin is my DOC and the withdrawal from that is a killer. But I got addicted to the pills years ago after an accident and I too tried many times to get off of them. After so many times of going through it, it gets harder and harder.

I have heart disease and it was dangerous for me to go ct. Although I do not necessarily advocate the program, I did go on Suboxone for 16 days and weaned myself off before that became a problem. I realize you cannot do that because it is very expensive.

Like I said, with only 15 pills left, it is going to be a very fast taper and there is just no way to get around it. The worse thing you can do is spike your dose, meaning taking 5 or 6 at once. You will need to space them out, only take 1 at a time, every 6 hours until they are done. I know, I know how hard that sounds but I can't think of any other way.

I was not working the last time I detoxed so it was not an issue for me. If there is any way to take a few days off, then do it. If you can take off Thursday and Friday and then you will have the weekend as well and by Monday you will start to feel better.

There are otc medications and supplements you can take to ease the process also.
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Avatar universal
no other health problems that i know of. I am just so afraid and i just dont know what to do.
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Avatar universal
I am also a nurse. How did you go to work? I shake so bad and I just cant think. A  couple of times I was real low on my meds and was picking them up at pharmacy at 10 I went on to wo.rk at 8 after only taking 4 pills and I usually take 7. I was so shakey and I could not think everything was a blur I  had to get out of there. I do home health so I left the office as soon as I could to get the pills at 10. This is the bad part I am a nurse and I know how bad this is. I have taken these so long it takes 7 or 8 to do what 1 used to do. My back and left leg hurt so bad. Please tell me how you were able to work. What withdrawl symtoms did you have? yes I will pray please answer
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271792 tn?1334979657
Do you have any other medical problems?
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Avatar universal
thanks so much for your answer. I am crying and so afraid. I wish I had never done this to myself. I have no one to blame but myself. I am not looking for pity just support. My chest and left arm is hurting ever time i try to cut back this starts. Has anyone else had that feeling? Yes I can taper with these few pills but how do you think best to do it? how many days does the physical part last? Thanks for everything
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Precious,

I don't know anyone who has died from pain med withdrawal. You will be uncomfortable but the physical part only lasts a few days. So many here have done it and gotten to the other side. Believe me, it is so worth it to get your life back.

Right now focus on getting off the pills and try not to worry about everything else that is going on. That is all way too much to handle right now.

Can you get someone to hold your last 15 and dole them out until you are done? If you start the taper now (even though it is quick) it will ease the process.
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
just hang in...i have a really bad habbit of takin 15-20 loratab 10 a day and today is day four after a 2.5 year addiction and the w/d have not been to bad...not sayin your wont be , but just remember it has never killed anyone and you will be alright. The first two days that i had nothing i had to go to work( as a nurse) and work 12 hour shifts, hard yes but doable. stay strong and pray, you will make it <3
Helpful - 0
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