pills,ganja,alcohol

I guess u can say im just a hot mess. I used to be an insane addict of xanex n k-pins. I would consume about 8 green bars numerous times a day, same with k-pins. I started getting really sick, diahhrea, rapid wieghtloss.on top of al that i smoke weed constantly, i drink/drank tons of liquor. I have quit everything but the drinking and smoking. Until the other day.... after years of not having it i got xanex...6 yellow bars n they were tooted in like 5 seconds...this worries me cuz i no why i hate them n wont do them, but i just need them. Its just random spurts of axiety, stress, boredum.... self help!!! I do really good, but i cnt stop slipping. My husband is sober, happy n loves me no matter wut! Nut i cannot quit makin wrong choices. Even if i am ungodly happy, i just want to get wasted n b a zombie! Wut is wrong with me

[jerry4664]

Wow not sure what to say but I know that someone here must have an answer but to me it seems like you just like being high... the bars will lead to death if mixed with drinking my friend just buried his best friend from of all things coors lite and norcos at 31 years of age.... I gave up the weed 20 yeras ago and never looked back while my wife smoked non stop we both drink beers but no zombie stuff I've been off the pills for 20 days and feel like a new person maybe when the time is right you will find that person you used to be I wish you luck but if your writing here you know what needs to be done but guess what its not easy....

[10356]

Hi bleedinqueen. Welcome to the forum. as stated above what you are mixing with alcohol could cause death. It only takes one time. If you are running from something in your past it may be a good idea to deal with it thru therapy. I had everything one could want except I could not find the joy in my personal life for I was still in pain from childhood traumas. Once I received help it allowed me to move on and actually enjoy life this is something I had not done for a very long time.. Only you know what you are running from. I will send a prayer that you find your way.. lesa