Free from pain meds, Day 11 of subutex :(

[kris123]

So i don't abuse pain meds any more and I took myself of subutex and on day 11.  I have super anxeity and I am bipolar.  The dr has giving xatax(sp) and I take one at night to sleep but don't want to get hooked on that.  When does the anxeity leave.  It is so hard to take care of my kids and I hate myself , my life and dont' want to be me anymore.  I dont' want to live like this and I am hurting and it is hard to work, take care of my house, take care of three kids - one 14, one 3, and one 3months old.  It is very hard with the 3month old and having some bonding issues - it was ok on subutex :(  but since I am off of it I have having a hard time and can't take xanta(sp) every time cause I will get hooked.  Help

[vicki595]

It takes some time Kris. The anxiety is horrible,I know. That's why the doctor gave you the xanax. Use it short term for the anxiety and keep in touch with your doctor.

Stay mindful of how you're feeling day to day. Often times the drugs leave us with a lot of anxiety and depression.  If it doesn't lift after a few weeks or if you feel like it's intolerable,get in to talk with the doctor. There are meds that can help.

Vicki xo

[kris123]

Yes the anxiety is horrible, so I need to at least take one at night to help me sleep and one in the morning.  I have .5 and I think I will half that and take it and then take another half if I need to.  I just can't take care of my kids with this horrible anxiety and with bipolar.  I will never abuse any drug ever again.  I still can't believe that I abused pain meds.  My dr said it could be that I am going through a lot in my life, but it is not.  in the morning I wake up and want to kill myself, but I won't.  I am just saying I need to at least take some xanax to clam myself cause I have to work and take care of my kids.

When will this lift :(  I stopped at 8mg.  I have been off and on the drug since Feb. 26 2010, and I will never touch it again.  I will never use subutex ever.  I thought it was ok but I depended on it to make it each day and you know the withdrawel is horrible just like my daughter, she had to stay in a dark room alone in the hospital and I could not concolse her at all, she cried and there was nothing you could do for her.  It took about five to seven weeks for her to be ok really, each day was better and at three months she smiles and talks and all that.  She likes to be held a lot but most of the time in her boundy.

when will this leave

[vicki595]

Kris~ I'm not a sub expert but I know that 8mg is a bit high to jump from. Many people go down to slivers!!!  So,there's that. Then the kids,then life...now detoxing. It's hard!!
You'll get to the other side. Be patient and don't think that this will be forever!! Take the xanax as your doctor knew what he was doing. I like your idea of breaking the .5 in half.

Just focus on getting through the day,everyday. Put a smile on your face and rock the baby.  Life is good,Kris.

V.

[avisg]

Kris why did you jump off at 8
mg thats why you are suffering so much .We all told you u were going to have to taper all the way down .I thought you were doing very well on it what happened?

[kris123]

Doing ok on it, but it effects my bipolar and in the end my dr said it will cause more harm then good, but take it to avoid taking pain pills.  So I took his advise.  It is the anexity that is killing me.  Today is very hard and mornings are terrible.  But I have gone 11 days so I am not going to put it in my mouth.  I just don't want to do it any more and social services in up my b u t t for taking the subtex and in the hosptial they called them and then again when I went to the dr.  I am not going to take it just because of that too.  I had to show them that they were from the dr.  I got lots of subutex pills but I am ready to be free despite the horrible feeling.  I will use the xantax(sp) as directed.  It is really bad to have this feeling all day long.  When will it go away.  I will not fall and take one then it starts over

[kris123]

avi i tried to call and get you many times :(  i wanted to talk to you.  do you remember my number

[vicki595]

Kris~  Why don't you send Avisg a personal message. She'll see that quickily I think.

[avisg]

no hun send me a pm if you want off the sub thats ok but you have to do it the right way coming off 8mgs you are going to be in wd for quite awhile and xanax is HIGHLY addicting and one of the harder drugs to come off of ...

[salsinator]

Jumping off the sub at 8 mg is not wise, it will be miserable.  However, if you are already at 11 days, you should be most of the way through.  I also noted that you said you only were on the sub for 11 days, so that will also help lessen the impact of jumping off at that high of a dose.  You mention being bi-polar.  Are you taking any other meds besides the xanax sp?  There are lots of good meds that can help for that too that don't have the same risk that the xanax does.  I had some pretty extreme anxiety when I got of sub - for about a month and then it went away very quickly, but I have known others that have suffered longer.  Keep working with your doc, but I do agree with your not wanting to go back on the sub after being off for the time you have been.  If you don't start to feel better really soon - please see your doctor.