pregnant & addicted?

[doingitalone]

hello, i use to come to this board i think about a year ago when i decided to quit taking opiates, and though i've had a few relapses i've been clean for the majority of the time since i quit. i always had really great support here and always thought i'd remember this board in case i ever needed help.

well, since i had such a great experience here, when my best friend called and told me she was pregnant and addicted i automatically suggested she come here and write about her fears. i think she's embarrassed about her situation and embarrassed to reach out and get help -- she just graduated from college to become a social worker and help people who have had a rough life because she's had a rough life and wants to help people get through theirs. she says she feels like a hypocrite helping people when she has her own problem (opiate addiction). i've known her for 95% of my life, she is more than my best friend, she's my sister. so naturally, i want to help her and her unborn child.

naturally i told her the best thing for her to do is to tell her doctor everything and not with hold ANY information. they need to be as educated as possible to fully and completely care for her and her baby. she's been using pretty consistently for awhile now, usually between 10-30 mgs a day, she's just recently went up to about 90mg and within the last 3 weeks she's weaned herself down to about 4-8 mg a day. still not feeling *great* but not dying either. she was supposed to have her period around the 20th of december, but because ever since she got off the depo shot she's had irregular periods she thought it was normal. i suggested she get a test and she did, only to find out she pregnant.

she's afraid to tell the doctor!! she's afraid if she tells her obgyn they will contact CPS and take away her child, or at least report her, and her family will find out. i know this person better than i know anyone else, it has always been her life dream to have a family and a baby and i KNOW that she can overcome her addiction because she is one of the strongest women i know. there isn't a doubt in her mind that she wants to use anymore, she's in a place in her life where she's happy and stable (a career, a fiance, moving up in the world) so this is not a case of a woman getting pregnant and having a baby addicted to, lets say, crack. this is just a case of she messed up for awhile but now she wants to get her life on track.

my question IS, if she comes completely clean with the doctor about her addiction, WILL they report it to CPS? could she be at risk for potentially losing her baby, like they take it away? will she be at risk for poorer OBGYN care because the doctor will view her differently than other women? what would the best thing for her to tell her doctor?

i love her with all my heart and i only want whats best for her.. and because i think she's afraid to reach out, i'm going to try to be as educated as i possibly can for her, and maybe even link her to this page eventually so she can be as informed as she possibly can.

thank you, sorry this is long!! any positive comments are appreciated! please no negativity or judgement.

[dominosarah]

We would love to have her join and be a support system for her(and you too!)

[maria920]

Ur welcome! Like Sara said mayb u can get her to join! We can all join with u and b great support for her.

[doingitalone]

thank you to all who have commented :)

i am so glad to come back, everyone here is so understanding and helpful. all of these comments are so greatly appreciated and i am going to show her this page with everyone's helpful feedback

hopefully she will feel inclined to join

thank you everyone again :)

[dominosarah]

CPS is called when the mother withholds info as most states check for drugs in newborns.  Maybe you could go to her doctors appt with her.  She really needs to tell the OB about this.  I would also try and talk to her about seeing a counselor or attending a meeting.  Just talking to someone will help her out.  You mentioned that she had a rough life and i am sure she learned to distance herself with her emotions.  It would be nice if she would come on here and talk with us too.  Keep us posted on how things are going.

Make sure she continues on the tapering....

[maria920]

Hi! From what I understand no they will not call cps if she tells them. They will help her and probably advise against going ct mayb even quitting bc the baby will feel everything she does and it could cause miscarriage . I suggest she take enough to b comfortable until she tells the Dr. The Dr usually only report it if the mother didn't say anything and the baby is born with drugs in its system . The see this ALL the time. Even if she is afraid she needs to  come clean with the Dr soon.for the sake of her baby ! I hope everything works out for the best!

[Bubulous]

Hello, welcome back,

I am not a female so I cannot relate to this just wanted to say your friend is lucky to have someone looking out for her like this.  I am sure you know you will find a lot of support on here, just keep checking back,

Good Luck
Larry