It's not in your head at all. I used to drink a lot of energy drinks and cola. Now, if I have even half a glass of cola, 1-2 days later I get exactly the symptoms you have described. It's literally every single time and often I don't realise that it was due to caffeine straight away.
Hi! I lived in the Seattle area during my teens and 20's so I'm sure you know what that means.....a two to three pot a day caffeine habit. When I was 30 I developed high blood pressure I was told I had to quit caffeine as I'm one of the people that it affects badly. That was 25 years ago....there are days when I still crave a real cup of coffee (like today). I do have sensitivity to caffeine now. One time a waitress thought it would be cool to be lazy and give me caffeine instead of decaf. My heart was racing, I was sweating, I thought I was going to climb the walls. That was about 15 years ago.
Fast forward another 10 years. We now live in a low altitude climate, my blood pressure is very well under control so my doc said well you could probably do a quarter-caf coffee. WRONG! I had so many reactions I can't describe them all...anxiety was the worst.
So...can you still have reactions to the substance....heck yes!!!! I was finally told that if you have been off the substance for a while that it is going to definitely affect your body...so if you decide you want to take up caffeine again I would only do so after you get a clean bill of health from your doctor and a plan....but personally.....ask your doctor if you can start taking B-12 injections instead. If he will prescribe a 10 dose vial you could use that for energy (plus it is good for you). Usually the prescribed dosage is one a month...I actually get 1 a week and it helps SO much with my energy.
Sorry to hear about your discomfort. By way of an answer, I'd say your. Wife and mother may be right, and so are you. Addiction is I disease of the mind as well as body, and the physical manifestations of psychic distress are its hallmark. A prolonged and protracted rebound sensitivity to your drug of choice would not surprise this addict in the least. Trust your instincts and if the substance gives you trouble, avoid it!