Just wanted to know

[RAIGAR_ARYAN]

In general, what is it like being an addict?
More specific, say an addiction to oxycontin?
I want to know this just for the sake of interest, any responses would be greatly appreciated.

[ProdigalGirl]

Addiction to me feels like being in an abusive relationship. At first your love treats you kind, makes you feel good and you trust them.You look forward to being with them at every waking moment of the day and all night long. The love affair is like nothing you have ever experienced. Eventually you get to know the real "partner" and all their flaws.Then the fighting begins.The worry, obsession and down right abuse. The fight to keep your dirty secret from the ones you love. You try and hide the battle wounds. You tell yourself, I can change, it will change but, at that point it is too late. The scars are not superficial anymore, they are deep. You try and end this abusive relationship, only to be seduced again and made to believe the relationship is the only true happiness you will ever find.Eventually when all is lost and you regain the strength to end the madness you are then on your way to freedom. Then your partner shows up at your house with flowers, candy and reminds you how great it was in the beginning. Either one cuts the ties with this relationship, or the relationship kills you and in turn kills and robs your family of what could or would have been had you never met your "partner". Addiction is a horrible, terrible way to live one's life. God only gave us one chance to live and I don't want to live it addicted!


ProdigalGirl

[troubleinohio]

yep refusing bondage summed it up EXACTLY. Very well written. I wish i could be so concise! great great great post RB!!

[Dezdon]

Man, your telling my story to the tee!
   It got so bad, I ran low once and my new script was arriving late, I ended up in the ER having a uncontrolable anxziety attack.
I finaly switched to the patch to get oxy's out of my life and still manage my pain.

[sway1]

wow! that should be posted in public places everywhere. it is such a challenge to get and stay clean. information is everywhere for when we are already addicted. i don't think most of us wanted to get addicted on a conscious level. your description is so accurate.
     sway

[sway1]

wow! that should be posted in public places everywhere. it is such a challenge to get and stay clean. information is everywhere for when we are already addicted. i don't think most of us wanted to get addicted on a conscious level. your description is so accurate.
     sway

[refusingbondage]

It is an obsession.  It creeps up on you at first.  Then after a bit of time, every thought, every action revolves around finding and maintaining the supply.  It is complete terror and fear when your supply is running out and it is elation to just not be in fear when you get a new supply, at least for a day until you run low again.  You lose interest in everything, people, places and things.  You just want the drugs.  In the beginning you get some energy from them - they make you feel 'happy' but then you need more and more and you never ever ever find that fake energy or happiness again- you just keep chasing it.  You begin to take more and more and your helpless to stop because now your first priority is to not get withdrawal sick.. and you spend lots of hours in the day feeling withdrawal anyway -even though your taking dozens a day, they wear off to quickly.  As your intake grows you are fatigued, and sick and you dont even feel that good on them most of the time, but you take them anyway, cause now its about staving off dope-sickness.  Its like being in prison.  You have no rights, no choices..  Addiction takes over and you do what it tells you to do.  Your may have moments of clarity where you know you are dying physically and your soul is broken and you know you must quit, but you feel so chained down, like you cant move you do not think there is a chance or a hope.  You go through the "I love drugs" part of addiction and eventually you reach the "I hate drugs" part of addiction.  In addiction you are a slave - bottom line.  

[10356]

Like you are invisible to the real world as you walk the depths of Dante's He!!....

[illadelphia984]

^
also, what mojo said. when it overtakes your thoughts and starts to eat away at your life, then it's more than just recreational, IMO.

[mojorisin64]

speaking for myself,its when the drug has control over you..for me alcohol,weed...i can take it or leave it...give me a pain pill (i was on oxys) i will spend my entire waking moments looking,asking,bugging the **** of everybody and anybody looking to keep my stash full..the constant need of the drug that takes precedence over EVERYTHING

[illadelphia984]

Just search for "oxycontin" or browse the threads and you'll see the hell we have to go through. Your question is a bit broad for me to answer specifically, but being an addict is NOT fun. I wish I could re-wire my brain so I didn't crave drugs and was my old self again.