My taper is a joke

[GACarol]

Well, as a lot of you warned me - tapering is not as easy as it sounds. I haven't stuck to my taper schedule at all and have taken even more on some days. I set it up so I would be done on the 22nd. Right now at the pace I am going I will be out next Thursday. I know some will say to flush them now and stop but I am leaving tomorrow for a business trip and won't be home until Thursday. I have to drive 6 hours to get there and have 17 appointments Mon-Thur. I just can't do it now. But since I will be out on Thursday, I think I can drive home the 6 hours and then have a 3 day weekend to do this and see how I feel on Monday. Hopefully I will feel good enough to make an appearance at my office for a couple of hours and then come home. I work at home mostly but on Mondays we have staff meetings so I have to go.
So for the poll, were you successful with a taper or CT?

[joebhead]

I am on a 2 (almost 3) week Suboxone Taper and tomorrow will be my last .5 mg and I will be done.  I know that I will have a couple days of discomfort and I already went to the store and bought immodium, Hylands Restful Legs, and Melatonin (for sleep).  I wanted to ask you about the protein shakes.  What do they do and how much do you reccomend?  I am definitly wanting to put weight back on when I am off of these things because I have lost so much weight during these last couple of weeks.  I don't know if it is due to the Suboxones or what.  

[Back2Reality]

Living in Broward County, I have of course heard about and seen all the pain clinics that are everywhere, but never really paid too much attention because I never had to.  I have a neighbor who for the last year and a half was all too glad to just give me a constant stream of them.  Then over the last few months she started charging me for them.  Truth be told she probably gets her supply from the pain clinics!

Friday I got my last 5 from her and told her that if I ever asked her for them again to tell me no!!  I feel bad because I would really like to cut off all contact with her, but I also work with her.  I feel bad just cutting her out of my life, but the bottom line is that when I think of her my first thought is that she was my painkiller supply, and I honestly don't want anything to do with her anymore.  Have any of you experienced this?  My first thought (maybe a little selfish) is that I have to do whatever I have to do to keep away from painkillers and if that means staying totally away from her then that's what I have to do.  

I'm tapering and already dealing with the feeling of having to keep myself busy and occupied without them until 9:30pm. For the last three nights at 9:30 I take one pill.  This is literally the first weekend in a year and a half where I've gotten through the daytime without taking pills.  I work Monday through Friday so during the week I would never take them until the evening, but on the weekends I would.  So this weekend has been a big weekend for me... huge progress and I have to continue on my path.

Well this is why I turned the video off ... two of the photos they show of the pain clinics at the beginning are the front of the one that is right by my house.  I knew I should turn it off.  If people see this video and think about how cheap of a flight they could get to Broward County think what it could do to me knowing that I could practically throw a rock out of my backyard and hit the pain clinic building.  I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW how to get them.  It would probably be far too easy.

I want to be able to know in my heart that I'm off of them ... sick of the guilt, the planning on calling my neighbor to go get them, sick of the feeling I get when I go to her house, sick of feeling like I'm hiding this big secret from everyone I know, etc.  I want to be done with it and back to living like my old self again!

[maydecember62]

B2R- wow, hope your not wd-ing!!!  Would be to much of a temptation!!! LOL Did you know this was that large of an operation? We had no idea!!!

And GACarol, we were glad we didn't know of it till after we started wd's!!! Our town has direct flights there for $150!!! We for sure would have went there!!!

It's horrible, everyone goes down b/c of these little tabs!!!!

But good news, my husband and I are 7 days off oc, it's been hard but no cravings!!! We're surprised!!!! Lack of sleep had been a b@#$%!!! Today was worse than yesterday, but we see the light thru the fog.... Everyday will be better!!!! And our sobriety is #1!!!!

Good Luck all, here's hoping all of us sleep!!!

[Back2Reality]

I just got to the part of the video where he says he'll show you how to get some pills in Florida.  I'm not even going to watch it.  I don't want to know how to get them.  I am currently tapering and Thursday will be my first clean day.  A friend has been giving them to me.  I don't even want to know how easy it possibly is to drive to the clinic two blocks away and get them.  I don't think this video is something I should watch right now.  Once I'm clean of them for a while, I will try to watch it again.

GAcarol I wish you well.  Somehow I have been faithful with my tapering.  Maybe the fact that I broke down and told my son (24 years old) what was happening with me and that I was giving myself a week to taper off of them is what has helped me be strong.  It's pretty embarrassing to have to tell your child that you are on pain pills, but I wanted him to know what was going on in case I started being anxious or depressed or not feeling well as I tapered.  He has been supportive.  He lives with me and it's just the two of us living here.

I believe that I am currently experiencing a little bit of withdrawals since I've cut back my amount.  I have been feeling a bit anxious and tired and achy ... and of course have been missing the feeling of being on them, but I have forced myself to keep busy.  I read, I knit, I walk my dogs, do things around my house, watch TV and when I feel really tired or achy I lay down.  

I'm not there yet ... I still have three more nights of tapering.  One pill tomorrow night and then a half on Tuesday and Wednesday.  I wish you luck with getting off the pills and hope that you all will wish me luck as well.

[Back2Reality]

My God I just started watching this video and I LIVE in Broward County.  There is literally a pain clinic two blocks from my house.  They are every where.

[Ballgame]

Ct is awful. I would really try to stretch what you have out as long as possible to give your body a chance. 3 days will not be enough.  
Serious try to spread out, you just have to do it because it's going to be brutal once you start ct. Day 2 and 3 are the worst.
Good luck

[shiningstar500]

Good luck to you! I did the taper but it was hard. I just kept telling myself why I was doing it and that hopefully the next day I would feel better. I wish you the best!

[GACarol]

Thanks everyone, I'm gona try again but I don't have anyone to hand them to me. If I don't make it like I said I will be out next Thursday either way and I'm not getting more. I already cancelled my appointment with my pain doc and the girl I use to get extras from went through 12 days of WD hell so she says she is done too, thank god!
I watched Oxy Express, is was sad. The addict in me looked on mapquest to see how far I am from Broward Co. even more sad!

[maydecember62]

Tapering can work, if you have discipline....

We never have been able to do it. I'm not trying to be harsh, but sounds like you can't either. It's the nature of the beast and all of us on here loath that!!!!

If you do cold turkey, what helped us out was buying protein shakes before hand. We lived on them for days!

Just like you, we planned our pill count to our weekly schedule, just to not get sick. They have health pages on here with different suggestions of vitamins, etc, but for us it didn't matter what we took... All you need is time!!! Stick with it, life is so much better without our bottle of pain meds by our side!!!!

BTW, check out the "Oxy Express" video on the internet about pain meds, I wish we would have watched that before so we knew what poison we were playing with...

[Ourdukes4ever]

Yeah, I agree with chronic that tapering is better accomplished by having someone handing over the pills to you.  It is very hard to taper by yourself. If it isn't possible to have someone handing out the pills to you, the way to taper (by my trial and error) is this:  Start out with however many a day, let's say 3, stay with 3 a day for at least 3 days. Go down to 2 1/2, stay on that for at least 3 days and so on and so forth.  For me, the first of the three days on each level was fine, the second day was uncomfortable and the third day on each level was ok again. Just know that it's going to suck on that second day and suck it up and take a benedryl to help you sleep.  If you can stay on each level for longer, that works even better.  After I got down to 1/2 a pill, I stayed on that for only 2 days and then I went off and it was ok.  But I would recommend staying on each level for longer.  But DON'T mess it up, be CONSISTENT, don't go up and down. Give your body the chance to adjust to each level. Remember, you can't rush these things, detox takes time but it's completely do-able.  Just know that you are going to have some days that are more rough than others but it gets so much better within several days.  I have over 3 weeks now after following this exact tapering method and doing great.  Write back, we will be listening.

[chronicmistake]

I believe the only reason my taper worked was because I had my husband hand out my medications.  Sometimes my husband would leave me 2 pills and by the time he got home from work the pills were still there.  Therefore I believe I started WD during my taper and that is why when I went CT I barely got sick.  Good luck to you.