severe facial pain from snorting pills... please help!!

[almosthopeless17]

Hi, sorry its a long story, but i want to start at the beginning... I've been snorting pain pills for around 6 years. It was occasional until the last 3 years. I have a few health problems that caused pain and I had bad teeth so the pill use got pretty out of hand. I finally got my pain under control and had my teeth pulled last year and I promised myself that I was done with the pills. About a week after I got my teeth pulled I started noticing pain in my gums which I thought was dry socket so I continued to snort pills for 3 months and the pain spread to my sinuse. I went to the Dr twice and was given antibiotics for a sinus infection. A few more months went by and the pain gradually got worse and I just used that as my excuse to keep snorting the pills January 1st of this year I made my new years resolution to get my life back on track. I have been to a Dr and I am on subutex and I have only been snorting pills when I am in pain. The pain has gotten completely unbearable! I have recently been researching and I realize that this pain is because of the pills. I want sooooo badly to be done with them!!! I have pain in my upper and lower gums, my jaw, my ear, my temple, the roof of my mouth, and my throat. I can see that the flesh inside of my nostril looks white(necrosis) but I don't think I have a hole.  The pain is absolutely unbearable unless I snort another pill! I have tried saline sprays, I eat ibuprofen like pez, I even have a netty pot (sp?) I was just wondering if anyone has any advise. I am 22 and I have been accepted to nursing school and I'm really scared that I'm not going to be able to get this to go away. I should have never let it get this bad, but it was kinda one of those things where I was in denial for so long then one day I woke up and enough was enough. I am confident that my addiction is under control, just looking at the pills makes me hate myself. I work full time and have a busy schedule the only way for me to even be able to go to work is to snort a pill to get the pain under control. Someone please help!! ANY advice is welcome!!! I am willing to try anything (p.s I would go to an ent but I'm scared that that will effect my nursing career... The Dr I go to for subutex is in another state and its cash only/ its kinda shady. I would tell that Dr about my problem but then he will know that I have still been abusing pills and he may kick me out.)  

[weaver71]

Yeah, I know that one. What are you snorting? Subs, morphine, oxys, what? Hangetsu is right, subs work just as well under the tongue. I snorted methadone, it takes too long to work orally(so I rationalized). I would snort 40mg then swallow 40mg so I had a good 8hrs feeling normal starting in about 30 min. I'd snort them throughout the day, as needed. I usually maxed out at about 200mg. a day. Personal boundaries, you know. I'm a sick puppy. We addicts have a strange since of self control. Well the nose thing is a bummer. The thing destroying your nose makes it feel better. Unfortunately, no pain no gain. I used subutex to get off methadone. I'm not sure you worked the 1st step in the NA book. It was easy for me to say, "Sure, my life is unmanageable and sure, I'm an addict." It was obvious to my mind, but part of me didn't want to let go until I started having near death experiences. Many friends are dead. Then, my heart, emotions, and spirit got involved. I had been defeated. On a gut level it became real, I can't even take an opiate if I break my jaw again. I couldn't do it alone. I reached out for help in every corner of my life. You can't just stop the subutex, it requires a taper, but you can stop snorting. It's hard, trust me, I know. Make a decision and do it quick or you will lose everything. You need to set up a plan of aftercare for when you finally get clean. Good luck and keep trying...

[hangetsu]

The snorting of the pills has become ritualistic behavior to you and a part of the addiction. (Yes, you are addicted.) The whole part about fixing them up, snorting them, and the feeling you get afterward has all become part of your addiction and why you aren't getting the same feeling "taking the pills orally." The blood vessels under your tongue will adsorb the drug just as readily as the ones in your nasal cavity.

First work on getting used to taking the Sub sub-lingually to let your nose and throat heal, then work on stop using. ;)

Good luck.

[LeaAnn807]

Hi there!  Sorry about the problems you're having, but you're kind of between a rock and a hard place here.  You NEED to see a doctor.  You may have done some serious damage?  I don't know as only a doc can tell you that.  Rather it affects your career or not, your health comes first!  

Something you wrote alarms me......."I'm confident that my addiction is under control....." I'm sorry, sweetie, but your story about your addiction and what it's done to your life and health sounds far from under control to me.  It sounds very out of control.  If it was so under control you would not be going out of state to a cash only doc who is shady at best and be afraid he'd cut you off if you told him.  If you were in control, you'd say to heck with him....I'm not going back again, because I want this to stop therefore I don't need his shady butt anymore!!!  You also said that looking at a pill makes you hate yourself because you're so confident that it's under control and then right after that you said that you have to snort one to go to work?  I'm just a little confused on that one.

Think about this, ok?  And get to a GOOD and DECENT doc who will help you with your issues and not pump you full of pills!  I wish you lots of luck!  We will help you here, but you need a doctor ASAP!

[almosthopeless17]

One more thing to add.. I have tried taking the pills orally and it doesn't help. I no as an addict we make excuses to use.. for the first time in years I am 100% sure this pain is not an excuse!! They have ruined my life, I want to be happy! If someone said in order for this pain to go away immediatly I could never touch another pill again, I wouldn't think twice to say ok!! I no it will take time and I can't expect it to go away instantly. I just want to know what to expect and if I can ease the pain at all to make it bearable. I can't take time off work and I'm starting school soon... If I can't get this under control I don't know what I'm gonna do!