About the program

[shomneg]

HI John here, I am an addict/alchoholic, sober from booze over 4 months, and from MJ 37 days. The thing is, that I went to meetings alot in the beginnning, mostly AA also some NA, would prefer MA meetings but they are sparse altho it could be an excuse, it would take over an hour to get there each way in the eve. But I visit an online email MA group alot.
But i have stopped going to meetings for almost 2 months now. I understand that this is not so good. but I do not suffer any realistic urges to use or drink.

I just basically want a break from meetings. But it has been too long but I still prefer to spend a quiet evening doing what I have to do at home and hanging out with my wife and children, is this so terrible?

I often make a plan to go to a meeting but something comes up. Now it is like I want to not go to meetings anymore, only if I won't drink or drug of course.

Is it possible to maintain sobriety without meetings?

[shomneg]

Thanks all. There are issues with me and people, due to the fact that for 99% of the times I was high, it was alone. So I never made new friends really, except from my religious group, but even there, not friends to go out with just in the temple.

The first problem I had was that I coudn't get a sponsor.

I am not sure if this is a fact of there not being enough sponsors to go around, but it was making me resentful.  Then there was alot of BS at both groups I went to, I couldn't take the commotion.

The meetings helped at first for sure and even now.

I think the bottom line is that I don't feel completely 100% that I want to give up weed for the rest of my life. I still want to be able to control it to an occassional long weekend. even tho I know that I cannot control it like that.

But In all honesty, I felt like a fraud in meetings of AA bec. I still planned to smoke. heck I was still smoking for parts of the 4 months.

SO I stopped looking for a sponsor, bec. I don't want to confront this weed issue.

But I want sobriety for most of the time. I understand that the program really works best if you treat it as a matter of life and death, and I am not at that point yet.

John

[jenny8575309]

What if you just go everyonce in a while?

[flmagi]

It sounds like those meetings helped you. You should probably try to stay connected with them. We all need some kind of support from people who really understand what we're going through.
I'm really happy to hear your life is getting back on track. Congrats to you!
Stay strong.

[beachtowel]

its fine to stay home with wife and daughter.......and why would that be a terrible thing?

But like Lurker and IBKleen said what if something goes wrong or somthing happens........
How will you react.......If you need pain meds will you give your script to your wife and let her
dispense them to you?

[IBKleen]

You took the words right out of my mouth Lurker....

I was very involved in the fellowship of NA for 5 years. I had the same sponsor, worked the steps, sponsored others, went on commitments....etc.

After 5 years I moved several hours away and thought I could do it on my own. I was in a new relationship and wanted to spend time with my (now hubby). I didn't hook up with any meetings when I moved, nor did I stay in touch with my sponsor.

It worked for me for a while until I had an accident. Then, like Lurker said, I did not not have a "solid base of support" and when I started taking the meds for pain, I didn't know how to stop.

I took me years to find my way back to where I am today.

NA/AA/MA is not for everyone. For me it was, and is today, life support.

Only you can make the decision. Beware that  it is not your addiction talking when it tells you that you are OK. When mine tells me I am OK??? I run for the nearest meeting...

[lurker]

For a while, yes it is.  But, after 9 years of going to meetings I quit.  When I then had to start taking pills for an injury, I didn't have a solid base of support and before I knew it I'd been using the pills fast and furiously for years - I often feel that if I'd stayed connected I would have not relapsed.  I'll never know. But what I do know is that I wish I'd stayed, even if I only went every couple of weeks or so.  Or at least stayed connected to the people.
Be careful - addiction is a very slippery slope.