so i screwed up....

[climbingthewalls]

first off, i would like to wholeheartedly thank everyone one this site for reaching out and offering their support/advice when i decided to take the long walk. I have let each and every one of those people down! i'm sorry. especially Michele, you were there for me every day and I lied to you, i lied to myself, but more importantly, i lied to you, my pillar, my strength, my love! so sorry sweetie. so M knows , now i feel more comfortable letting the rest of you know.... so sorry guys, really!
OK back to day 2....at least the realization that I HATE the pi;;s came quick this time....sorry guys, wish me luck!! peace

[justme618]

I'm new here…just wanted to say hi and sorry your in a rough spot. Been there, done that…..

[Jinx_777]

they say are as sick as your secrets and it seems you have taken the step to tell your secret.  that is amazing.  i hope michelle is by your side and you can find the peace so you don't turn to the pills anymore.  congrats on day 2

[climbingthewalls]

we make each other cry....

[clean_in_ks]

Welcome back.....I understand that you feel like you let everyone, including yourself down.  But a lot of people have to continue to try it "their way" before they become willing to listen to the ones that are staying clean.

I like analogies....so I see it like being a player on a team....all the team members look out for each other, encourage eachother, praise each other...and forgive their mistakes on the field.  But the players also have to be willing to listen to their COACH.  To do what the coach suggests....even if they don't agree.  To try a new play...the coach's way....  

Last time you weren't too hip on "support"....outside of this forum.  I hope that you will put some aftercare in place even if you don't really want to.
Cutting our sources and telling those closest to us about our addiction gives us accountability....so we can't use behind our secret.  But THEN, we have to get some outside support of SOME kind.....and surround ourselves with people just like us that are learning new coping skills in order to STAY clean.
Relapses are full of lessons....they serve their purpose, too.
Glad you are back~

[EG70]

I'm glad to see you back, I was wondering where you went. It's ok, you can do this! Keep on moving forward. The past is past and you can't drag it along with you. Live in the now and keep pushing forward. I have faith in you!
Good to see you back here again.
EG70

[saspan]

hang in ther my man I know exactly what your going thru. I,ne sure had my ups and downs!   peace out!!!!!!!!!!!!